The Prototype Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I recently (April 2nd) was broken up with my ex of 1.3 years (I am 30, she is 24). She said we needed to take some time apart. She has apparently been down in the dumps since around January, and felt like we were on different agendas. I was swamped with grad school and work, and she said she felt like a low priority to me. Her mother and family (they love me and think she is being childish) have told me she thought I would propose around Christmas or by Valentines Day. It was never spoken. We have discussed marriage and I have asserted she was the one for me, etc. I was actually planning on it later this year. We have discussed kids, etc., all the major issues. It has been a month, she has been dating lightly this fellow teacher from school. No one (friends, family, even her) can figure out why. She admits she doesn't know why, but she likes the attention and romance he brings. I told her she was just groping for what she wanted from me (and what I mutually want from her). I feel as though she isn swapping me for this guy to get the attention/love. We met and talked last night. She insists we stay apart because she eneds to figure all her emotions out. She said she can't say yes or nor whether she and I will get back together. She said it just depends on how things come into focus. I told her it isn't fair to me to interact with everyone else, but not me, how can I compete? She said she needs distance to get perspective on how she feels. Her family said she still asks about me (her father is my realtor), and has asked if i ask about her. I feel like soon though I will be forgotten in favor of the new, fun guy. Do these post emotional breakups usualy last, or are they typically fleeting? Most frioends I have spoken to have said they are dommed, they are usually done for the wrong reasons, and most people can't jump from an emotional relationship to another like that. Her family, who has told her she is being a fool and making a mistake, backs me and has encouraged me to continue to remind her of how I feel. Many people say no contact is the way to go here. I am torn, I feel like if I walk away and let myself move on in the short term, we will forget each other, but I have heard many couples who took time (weeks, months year?) apart and did their thing and realized they missed their ex. I was by far her deepest and longest relationship, she had never dated anyone for longer than 3 months before me. Any thoughts?
loneyBird Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 the first thing wrong here is your feelings of entitlement of her attention. I would want to get away from anyone who thought I "owed" them anything after I broke up with them. Who cares if she is dating a teacher? She has clearly stated she needs her space here and getting the favor of her family is just going to push her away even more. You are not respecting her needs at all.... sorry I am being harsh...but you should respect her wishes here...if you want to win her favor at all. Leave her alone. She won't forget you if you meant anything to her.
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