liswil Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I just wanted to make a couple of points on this subject: First of all, I know several cases where the person leaves their marriage for the OM/OW. I just heard two more of them recently. Usually in those situations, they're not going to go to forums or to counselors so you're not going to hear about them in statistics. It does happen. Don't count on it but I do see it happen. Secondly, if you're an OW whose MM goes back to his wife, put yourself in her shoes. Would you REALLY want to be in that situation? Imagine what that's like for the W---constantly on guard and looking for signs. Never trusting. Imgaine what that's like for the MM---feeling like they're imprisoned with everything being watched. Not too fun is it? Just a few different perspectives on things (btw, I've been in both situations).
whichwayisup Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Secondly, if you're an OW whose MM goes back to his wife, put yourself in her shoes. Would you REALLY want to be in that situation? Imagine what that's like for the W---constantly on guard and looking for signs. Never trusting. Imgaine what that's like for the MM---feeling like they're imprisoned with everything being watched. Not too fun is it? That means she loves her husband enough to go to MC and work through all the mess that the cheating H put her through. Yes, she isn't going to trust him - Yes she is going to watch him like a hawk. And HE should willingly be UPFRONT and HONEST with anything and everything. That is part of the price he pays for cuz he decided to have an affair. His life is an open book. No privacy. Who cares what it is like for the MM! My god, HE put her and the marriage in that selfish situation to begin with! Why should the wife be the bad guy in that senario.
cranium Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Exactly wwiu, I don't know if MW feels like she imprisoned, but she knows I'm on guard and SHE has been willing to be up-front and honest with everything. The more she is an open book to me, the quicker my trust for her will return. She knows she was selfish and put our marriage in jeopardy. Communication now is key. If I can't trust her again, what would we have?
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