LookAtThisPOst Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I knew of quite a few people, men mostly, that had women end relationships with them typically after some significant event of which happened between them. Notably, vacation events or long trips together. There would be no signs during the trip as they would not be distant or showing any signs of problems during the trip. Then one day, my male friends get blindsided out of no where. One had 2-year relationship, another 5-year relationship that just ended after a long 2-week trip out west and back. I would think for sure that it would give someone assurance that the relationship was solid. But, I'm also of the mind that these long vacations together, spending nights in hotels, hiking the Rockies, traveling together, etc. Are a TRUE test of the relationship? Or is this the "silence before the storm" a "I let him has have his fun with me these last two weeks, before I dump him." Think it's even premeditated? Give a one last "Heave-ho", before saying good-bye?
emi Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Im a girl not yet a woman but hell, this is ridiculous. I mean if i want to dump someone , they must annoy me VERY VERY VERY much that i dont want to be around them. So why would i go on vacation? Uhm, depend if i really like the place but unlikely
sowhynot Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 (edited) Actually, I'd tend to agree with the OP. There does seem to be more dumps after a 'perfect' holiday together and that's nothing to do with dodgy foreign food. Certainly I've never read a thread from a post holiday dumpee moaning over 'what a rotten time they had and thank God it's all over'.....or words to that effect. Just after birthday celebrations seem to be popular with dumpers as well. My 'we need to talk' text from ex. was exactly 3 days after Valentine's Day but then I suppose it served me right as I should have spent a bit more on the meal we had together. Perhaps not so much a meal, more like The Last Supper....... Edited August 23, 2015 by sowhynot Speling and gramer
frigginlost Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Agree with the OP. A large percentage of the dumping I know about (friends/family) happened after a vacation, holiday, etc. I think it might have to do with the dumper wanting to end things on a high note, as they may believe those feelings may carry over to help the dumpee. It actually does the complete opposite... I was dumped two weeks after a great vacation, and once on the day before my birthday. It sucked both times!
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 On the 5-year relationship, what was so scary was these people were perfectly matched compatiblity-wise as per the opinion of their closest friends. They were big-time outdoor enthusiasts, very fit for their ages, like late 40s, early 50s. They traveled to national parks to explore and do what outdoor enthusiasts, do. The guy was a very nice guy, low key, perfect gentleman. One may think that this woman should regret having done what she did considering good a catch he is. If I were a guy, and I got dumped by what I considered the perfect match for me, I probably would use that woman as a guideline by which I would find future mates. This could mean this could take probably a life time once again to seek. I dunno, it kind of makes ME think...when or if I find my "perfect" match, that she could easily dump me in a fashion for a reason stating, "I just don't want to be anymore" or "I love you, but not IN love with you." Kind of line. Is this what I have to look forward to? Certainly I've never read a thread from a post holiday dumpee moaning over 'what a rotten time they had and thank God it's all over'.....or words to that effect. Right, I saw pictures of them together and beautiful scenery of them at the parks. Looks like they had a blast in God's country.
Art_Critic Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I think a lot of the times the leaver uses the long vacation you spoke of as the last ditch effort to see if things get better or change and when they don't they just leave so it looks like they left without a care but in reality they were trying to fix it and work it out long before they left. 3
mightycpa Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 I think a lot of the times the leaver uses the long vacation you spoke of as the last ditch effort to see if things get better or change and when they don't they just leave so it looks like they left without a care but in reality they were trying to fix it and work it out long before they left.Yep! And during the trip, what they figure out is that this person they are evaluating acts exactly the way they are expected to act, and because of this, the decision to dump them is made. This is exactly why getting back together rarely works out. After the good behavior has worn off, the dumper sees that same person they tried to escape from before. They're looking for something different, and they are dissatisfied by the person they know. The trip is merely a chance to prove it to themselves.
aloneinaz Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Yep! And during the trip, what they figure out is that this person they are evaluating acts exactly the way they are expected to act, and because of this, the decision to dump them is made. This is exactly why getting back together rarely works out. After the good behavior has worn off, the dumper sees that same person they tried to escape from before. They're looking for something different, and they are dissatisfied by the person they know. The trip is merely a chance to prove it to themselves. I agree with these two posts. I do think the holiday was the last chance to save the R/S before the dumper pulled the plug. Usually, the dumper knows they are losing interest in the person and R/S before the holiday. I'd bet a big percent of the time, the holiday was booked a couple months in advance so they just decided to go. Of course, the holiday didn't change the dumpers mind and now that they were home, they ended it. I know LOTS of folks who end relationships after Xmas or New Years. The same scenario. They were losing interest in the R/S and figured they'd get through the holiday season before dumping them. January rolls around and they end the R/S to start off a new year w/out someone they didn't want anymore.
organizedchaos Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Im a girl not yet a woman but hell, this is ridiculous. I mean if i want to dump someone , they must annoy me VERY VERY VERY much that i dont want to be around them. So why would i go on vacation? Uhm, depend if i really like the place but unlikely No it's not ridiculous. You have a lot to learn. Happens all the time. Happened to me. We went out of town for my birthday. A romantic getaway. 3 years together. A month later. She ends it.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Ex and I were having issues, I was supposed to go visit her which wasn't easy at the time since she lived half way across the globe at the time. I get there and she says she thinks she wants to break up.. Keep in mind I didn't turn into some ugly guy over night and my appearance hadn't changed at all or anything.. we agreed to try and enjoy the time I have there together but after a couple days she clearly wasn't having any of it. I think they do this because they want to validate their feelings.
elaine567 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 I think some dumpers have had the trip booked for months, but they start checking out of the relationship and do not want to make a decision over the pre-booked holiday. They know they should just cancel the holiday, but it is a hassle to do so, they may not get their money back and they may not be entirely certain they want to leave anyway. So everything gets put on hold till the holiday. If it is the holiday of a lifetime, they may just want to go anyway, regardless of what they may think of their partner. So they go on the holiday, the potential dumper decides to behave and not cause friction so as not to ruin the holiday, and some may even be giving the dumpee one last chance here too. The dumpee thinks it is all wonderful, back to the way things were. The dumper having done their duty and if still in a dumping mood, decides to end it, when they get back. The dumpee is heartbroken, they were getting on so well... I also think that holidays tend to concentrate the stuff we do not like about a partner. We are often with them all day, everyday, it can be a stressful experience too, and so the annoying little habits and traits get amplified. So by the time the holiday is over, we then hate the fact he is a stick in the mud, or that she never stops talking, or he is never happier when he is drunk, or she gets bored very easily, or he can never make a decision, or she over analyses everything, or he is a bit of a bully and she is a harridan... etc. If one person has one foot out the door, the holiday often shows them exactly why they need to get out.
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