bamaguy20 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 So ive been broken up with my ex girlfriend (together 2 years) for a little over a year....I used to post here a while ago when I was really having problems getting over here...things have since gotten completly better for me....Im seeing someone right now, although not as seriously...however, even as things are now, with all the changes that have happend in my life since the break up, all the ups and downs Ive had, and the points where I decieded I was completly over her, I still get days here and there where I have a dream or think about her for a second, and for some reason I miss her....The feeling only lasts for a few hours, mabye a day...but it's like Im back to where I started from almost....while I dont cry about her anymore when these feelings happen..I get a very lonely depressed feeling on the inside.....Is it normal after all this time, to every now and then..(Id say mabye once every month or two) to get these feelings about an ex thats been away for so long?? Will these feelings finally go away 100%? I was very much in love with her, and probably will always have a place in my heart for her....but I really just want to know if I am just weird in the fact that I still have days where old feelings come back, or if this is a pretty normal occurance for people?
ReluctantRomeo Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Yes, it's normal. Provided it is gradually tending to get better, this is perfectly natural.
BigB Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Sounds normal to me, It's been about six years since my big nasty break up with my ex. Slowly over time the thinking about her will become less frequent, and less emotional. I still think about my ex once in a while.... It's not painful anymore, mostly I wonder what's she's up to, what went wrong, etc. Both of my ex's still pop into my head from time to time...
ReluctantRomeo Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by BigB Both of my ex's still pop into my head from time to time... Together, I hope Fighting or frolicking together, you can't lose
BigB Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Together, I hope Fighting or frolicking together, you can't lose hehe.. yep, sometimes...
EC Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I'm not a guy but it's normal. At least I think it is because it happened to me with my first love. At first it was horrible. I would open my eyes in the morning and think of him and rest my head at night thinking of him. Everything reminded me of him. Even dating other guys didn't work because they were such losers they reminded me of what I wasn't looking for and reminded me of what I lost. I then had a semi-serious relationship..the first one after losing the ex..and i learned a lot from that relationship. And though I was happy..there were times that I would break down and become really depressed. I would see something or even going to a movie with the new bf would remind me of my first love and for but an instant I would miss him and wonder what he was doing. Eventually I ended the relationship with the other guy because I felt I still had some ex getting over to do. I stayed single for a while and little by little thoughts of my first love started to diminish. Until I met my now bf and with my bf now nothing reminds me of the ex. Everything feels brand new and as if I am doing it for the first time. For the first time when i wake up in the morning my thoughts are filed with my bf and not my ex. I still think about the ex but maybe like once every three months when I see or hear something but the feeling I get when i do think of them is more like an 'awee good times' feeling instead of " omg i miss him when will i see him again'. So I mean just give it time. Eventually the thoughts will be less and less and you will find someone new to occupy your thoughts and your heart.
Marshbear Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Very normal. I have heard the healing takes twice as long as the relationship was...
Author bamaguy20 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 great..so i got four years of this hanging in my head......good to know this is normal though and its not just me being a weirdo
No Foolin Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Brother I would say yes it is normal to carry around someone in the brain. You can't change the past, so yes you will always have the memories. Trick is what you do with them. I could give you some kind of time table, but I'd be smoke screening you. There is not clear cut time. What does help (helped me, big time) is to block those thoughts. When a thought of an ex rolls in your dome, acknowledge it, feel it, accept that it is over (do not fight it), let it float out. Then right after flood your a*s with what is real. Thoughts that you take care of you, love you, and you will always be something that will never leave (very true). Practice is everything. You must do this every time, all the time. Eventually it will become automatic. Your memories will be just that, memories. Trust me it works. No Foolin
sarah12 Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 EC -- how long has it been since the first ex??? I'm curious to know how long it takes a girl to get over her first serious love.
Jadey Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Ive just lost my first love. We planned out future together and everything. They always say the first love is the one that hurts the most and stays with you longest. Ill never forget about him. Sure i will move on and it will get easier, i will meet someone else eventually and be happy with them hopefully, but i will ALWAYS think about him. He wos my first everything you know? So i do believe that it is perfectly normal and it will fade in time. Actually the memory wont, but the feeling will. Good Luck !!
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