No judgment- why would a guy date a different girl every week?

[phineas]

most of my online first dates lead to sex.

And not because i'm such a "player"

It's because the women WANT to have sex with me.

 

if I could have more a month....I would.

 

I fail to see why nobody understands why a guy would do that.

Why wouldn't he?

[HansonGirl]

most of my online first dates lead to sex.

And not because i'm such a "player"

It's because the women WANT to have sex with me.

 

if I could have more a month....I would.

 

I fail to see why nobody understands why a guy would do that.

Why wouldn't he?

 

 

it seems compulsive and excessive. like, do you go have sex with one of your dates and then you log back in the next day looking for your next hook up? makes me sad is all.

[walkingonair]

it seems compulsive and excessive. like, do you go have sex with one of your dates and then you log back in the next day looking for your next hook up? makes me sad is all.

 

 

This country is like the animal kingdom.... This "hook up culture" is ruining everything.

[Dolfin80]

most of my online first dates lead to sex.

And not because i'm such a "player"

It's because the women WANT to have sex with me.

 

if I could have more a month....I would.

 

I fail to see why nobody understands why a guy would do that.

Why wouldn't he?

 

I can't have sex outside of a loving relationship because the second I am intimate with a guy I fall further in love with them and totally emotionally attached. I could never have sex with someone I'm not falling in love with, someone I know well and trust.

 

Why on earth are men so different, how can they have sex with someone they don't even love, this has never made any sense to me, like what is the point of having sex with someone your not in love with? I don't understand how you get any enjoyment out of it, without love being involved for both parties.

 

Also don't you get worried that you will catch HIV?

 

I'd genuinely like to know this?

Edited August 23, 2015 by Dolfin80

[HansonGirl]

I guess part of my inability to understand this is because my own pattern of going on the online dating sites is totally the opposite. I log in once every few days and my conversations trail off and i stop responding because I lose track of the conversations. the fact that someone is constantly on it is very foreign to me.

[phineas]

I can't have sex outside of a loving relationship because the second I am intimate with a guy I fall further in love with them and totally emotionally attached. I could never have sex with someone I'm not falling in love with, someone I know well and trust.

 

Why on earth are men so different, how can they have sex with someone they don't even love, this has never made any sense to me, like what is the point of having sex with someone your not in love with? I don't understand how you get any enjoyment out of it, without love being involved for both parties.

 

Also don't you get worried that you will catch HIV?

 

I'd genuinely like to know this?

 

Hey,

Let me clarify.

I DO NOT go for sex.

These women WANT sex.

They are practically throwing themselves at me.

All I gotta do it tap it.

 

Why in the world would I turn that down?

This is what women do online.

They look to get laid.

This is why people looking for a relationship have it so hard online.

Because the women are just as bad or worse than the men when it comes to sex.

Even when I try to be nice & get to know them they turn texting sexual.

 

I wear a rubber & honestly, do you personally know someone who has caught HIV ever?

I don't.

People WAY over-exaggerate how many people are out there running around with STD's.

[HansonGirl]

Hey,

This is what women do online.

They look to get laid.

This is why people looking for a relationship have it so hard online.

Because the women are just as bad or worse than the men when it comes to sex.

Even when I try to be nice & get to know them they turn texting sexual.

 

After reading that article that someone else included in their response to this thread, I can see that. I mean I get that a guy would take advantage of that - but what do you do when you do want a relationship?

that article had me thinking, LADIES WTF are you doing? (the women written about in the article)

[joseb]

Why are you getting so annoyed by how some guy wants to live his life?

 

Live and let live.

 

I was in a lot of LTRs in my life, and can totally understand why he would do this.

 

If you are looking for a relationship, look elsewhere. If you want to stay as a friend, try not to be so judgemental.

[Dolfin80]

Hey,

Let me clarify.

 

 

Why in the world would I turn that down?

This is what women do online.

They look to get laid

I wear a rubber & honestly, do you personally know someone who has caught HIV ever?

I don't.

People WAY over-exaggerate how many people are out there running around with STD's.

 

I still dont understand what they get out of it? Whats the point of meaningless sex. The concept seems really weird. Why would you bother. Seems like a waste of time.

[ZA Dater]

I wouldn't, all I really want is someone special, she doesn't need to be the best looking but when I talk to her I must go wow, when I am with her my mind must be "wow'.

 

Shopping through many women and objectifying them as mere sex objects doesn't appeal to me.

[phineas]

After reading that article that someone else included in their response to this thread, I can see that. I mean I get that a guy would take advantage of that - but what do you do when you do want a relationship?

that article had me thinking, LADIES WTF are you doing? (the women written about in the article)

 

There is one thing I know about women.

If they want to sleep with you and you don't, you are pretty much done.

They consider it a rejection and will friend zone you.

 

I've slept with women on the first date then kept dating them for a few months after.

Whether I slept with them on the first date or the 5th date wouldn't of changed the fact we weren't compatible.

[phineas]

I still dont understand what they get out of it? Whats the point of meaningless sex. The concept seems really weird. Why would you bother. Seems like a waste of time.

 

Why would you deprive yourself of sex for months while you look for the perfect person?

 

Not everyone wants to be tied down in a relationship just to have their needs met.

Women included.

[Jj66]

You can't keep her waiting too long or she will bail, just like a man will bail. Those are the facts of life.

 

It's great when you find someone who has the same pace as you. Not just on sex but in other things in a budding relationship (exclusivity, dating frequency, etc. etc). When two people have a different pace there's often a lot of friction. One seems pushy and the other seems hesitant and both of them could be on here asking for advice.

[Jj66]

I still dont understand what they get out of it? Whats the point of meaningless sex. The concept seems really weird. Why would you bother. Seems like a waste of time.

 

Sex is my favorite way to waste time. And I'm very glad there are a lot of women who like wasting time with me.

 

Love's just a waste of our energy

And this life's just a waste of our time

So why don't we get together?

We could waste everything tonight

And we could waste and we could waste it all yea

But everybody thinks

That everybody knows

About everybody else

Now now now nobody knows

Anything about themselves

Cause they're all worried about everybody else yea

[Dolfin80]

Why would you deprive yourself of sex for months while you look for the perfect person?

 

Not everyone wants to be tied down in a relationship just to have their needs met.

Women included.

 

Deprive yourself of sex, are you kidding me? I couldn't think of anything worse to do with my time. Sex without being in a relationship is horrible, I have no idea how or why anyone would do this, doesn't make any sense.

[Dolfin80]

Sex is my favorite way to waste time. And I'm very glad there are a lot of women who like wasting time with me.

 

a

 

What exactly do you get out of it, I asked that other guy this question but he didn't reply?

 

I'm also now wondering what percentage of people are able to have sex with people they are not in love with? All my friends have been marriage for 10 years and they have only even had sex whilst being in loving relationships. When I talk to them about casual sex they said they could never do it cause it messes with your mental health (like messes with your emotions). So I actually don't know anyone that has casual sex to ask them why do they do this?

 

I was propositioned back in 2006 for casual sex by a guy, I left his place in tears. I was in complete shock that he wanted to use me for sex, I felt sick. Luckily since then i haven't had this happen again. I've only had relationships where the person cares for me.

 

So yeah, I really don't understand how you can have sex without being in love. Perhaps I'm just different.

Edited August 24, 2015 by Dolfin80

[harkkam]

What exactly do you get out of it, I asked that other guy this question but he didn't reply?

 

I'm also now wondering what percentage of people are able to have sex with people they are not in love with? All my friends have been marriage for 10 years and they have only even had sex whilst being in loving relationships. When I talk to them about casual sex they said they could never do it cause it messes with your mental health (like messes with your emotions). So I actually don't know anyone that has casual sex to ask them why do they do this?

 

I was propositioned back in 2006 for casual sex by a guy, I left his place in tears. I was in complete shock that he wanted to use me for sex, I felt sick. Luckily since then i haven't had this happen again. I've only had relationships where the person cares for me.

 

So yeah, I really don't understand how you can have sex without being in love. Perhaps I'm just different.

 

I'm the same way but I'm a guy. I thought I liked casual sex and tried to do it casually but I tend to get attached and can't separate it from just a physical act.

 

Because you put so much effort and attention into their movement and you see their face and how the look at you and how their nails dig into your skin. You're closer as two ppl than any other act.

 

How can ppl turn around and make it into something like Sunday breakfast.

 

And yeah you can get your needs met with your hand.

 

You don't have to be in love for sex but you're pretty much a robot if you do that

[elaine567]

What exactly do you get out of it, I asked that other guy this question but he didn't reply?

 

I'm also now wondering what percentage of people are able to have sex with people they are not in love with? All my friends have been marriage for 10 years and they have only even had sex whilst being in loving relationships. When I talk to them about casual sex they said they could never do it cause it messes with your mental health (like messes with your emotions). So I actually don't know anyone that has casual sex to ask them why do they do this?

 

I was propositioned back in 2006 for casual sex by a guy, I left his place in tears. I was in complete shock that he wanted to use me for sex, I felt sick. Luckily since then i haven't had this happen again. I've only had relationships where the person cares for me.

 

So yeah, I really don't understand how you can have sex without being in love. Perhaps I'm just different.

 

It is all just a mindset, and to you sex is important, it is not just a bodily function, it is enjoyed as part of a loving relationship and you are not going to have sex with anyone you do not feel something for.

Your attitude is the standard "good girl" mantra doled out by society.

"Good girls" have low numbers, good girls wait for "the one", good girls never "party" or have ONSs or casual sex.

 

BUT for men, society tells them, it is open season, bag as many women as you can, be that stud, use and abuse women, fill your boots, and it is all OK, the more the better. Men need to sow wild oats.

Once the partying is done, find a low number "good girl", marry her and have kids - you can always find some woman willing to have sex on the side if you want, so all is good.

 

So whilst "good girls" really should be "in love" before having sex, to many men being "in love" is not necessary - no-one ever told them they have to be "in love" before having sex.

 

Of course society also needs "bad girls", but double standards can reign supreme there.

[Revolver]

Because he can

[Jj66]

What exactly do you get out of it, I asked that other guy this question but he didn't reply?

 

I'm also now wondering what percentage of people are able to have sex with people they are not in love with? All my friends have been marriage for 10 years and they have only even had sex whilst being in loving relationships. When I talk to them about casual sex they said they could never do it cause it messes with your mental health (like messes with your emotions). So I actually don't know anyone that has casual sex to ask them why do they do this?

 

I was propositioned back in 2006 for casual sex by a guy, I left his place in tears. I was in complete shock that he wanted to use me for sex, I felt sick. Luckily since then i haven't had this happen again. I've only had relationships where the person cares for me.

 

So yeah, I really don't understand how you can have sex without being in love. Perhaps I'm just different.

 

 

 

Umm. What do she and I get out of it? It's kind of obvious. The same things married couples get from it. Pleasure. Release of tension and stress. Human contact. Physical touch. Plenty of married people have casual sex (threesomes, swinging, etc.)

 

Can't have sex without being in love? For real? What are you going to do when you get married and fall out of love with your husband? I'm just the opposite. I can't have love without falling in sex. I couldn't fall in love with someone without ever having had sex with her. Not a chance in the world.

 

But just because you are not in love doesn't make sex casual. Maybe define what we mean by casual sex. By casual sex I'm going to say it means having sex for the sole purpose of sex. It's completely about carnal pleasure and not much else. There is no emotional bond between the participants.

 

The first time I had casual sex I was 20 and she was 38. She just wanted to **** me. So we did. Five times that night. I never saw her again. She was my mother's age, of course a relationship wouldn't have worked. But why not service each other's physical needs?

 

The second time, a divorced woman acquaintance asked me if I would be her **** buddy. She had been hinting at it but didn't want to come out and say it. I was obtuse and she finally got frustrated and blurted it out. She said she didn't have time to date because she had her kids almost full time and that I was coming out if a serious relationship and shouldn't be dating but that didn't mean we had to go without. It was just what the doctor ordered. We met at her house once a week when her ex had the kids over for dinner. We met just to screw. She did not make dinner for me and I did not sleep over. Her "rules" were we had to end it if either if us started developing feelings. That went on 5 months until I broke it off because I found someone I wanted to date.

 

So the first two times I had casual sex with no intention of there being a relationship it was the woman's idea. A lot of women like casual sex, too. Maybe they would prefer a relationship but they are too busy or just haven't found the right person. But why deny yourself that pleasure in the meantime?

 

Since that time I have had a lot of casual sex. It only works when you are both on the same page. If one wants casual and the other wants committed/exclusive it's a recipe for hurt feelings. That's kind of the definition of a player - someone who pretends to want committed sex in order to get into a woman's panties.

Edited August 24, 2015 by Jj66

[ZA Dater]

It is all just a mindset, and to you sex is important, it is not just a bodily function, it is enjoyed as part of a loving relationship and you are not going to have sex with anyone you do not feel something for.

Your attitude is the standard "good girl" mantra doled out by society.

"Good girls" have low numbers, good girls wait for "the one", good girls never "party" or have ONSs or casual sex.

 

BUT for men, society tells them, it is open season, bag as many women as you can, be that stud, use and abuse women, fill your boots, and it is all OK, the more the better. Men need to sow wild oats.

Once the partying is done, find a low number "good girl", marry her and have kids - you can always find some woman willing to have sex on the side if you want, so all is good.

 

So whilst "good girls" really should be "in love" before having sex, to many men being "in love" is not necessary - no-one ever told them they have to be "in love" before having sex.

 

Of course society also needs "bad girls", but double standards can reign supreme there.

 

There is so much truth to the above.

 

My take is never do things to people which you would not want done to you.

 

Its one thing to be casual, quite another to deceive good girls to "score them". The latter is frankly disgusting in my opinion.

 

However, there is also some truth in that some guys always come up short when finding relationships or are just really unlucky, I can understand why they pursue casual and only casual.

 

At the end of the day, each to his own. Me, I sleep alone at night knowing I have never used a female, retained my moral high ground and always remained a gentleman.

 

If that's not good enough for females than at least I can be safe in the knowledge I was never "that guy", even if the above has meant a 31 I am no closer to getting laid than I was at 21.

[WomenWubber]

Some people just love sex and only sex.

 

It ain't rocket science.

[Jj66]

How is it even possible to use someone for sex? Sex is awesome. If she doesn't get anything from sex she shouldn't be doing it. Of course it's always disappointing when you find someone didn't like you as much as you liked them.

 

Last night one of my lovers was telling me about being used by an ex. Her boyfriend was using her for free hockey and basketball tickets and to get access to a private plane. That seems way more like being used than some guy just wanting sex- which at least she benefits from.

[elaine567]

Can't have sex without being in love? For real? What are you going to do when you get married and fall out of love with your husband?

 

I just realised something.

 

That question you posed, I guess is why, so many men are in sexless marriages, their wives fall out of love with them, and with no love, then there cannot be sex.

 

"Good girls" do not have sex with husbands they do not love or have sex with husbands who they may perceive do not really love them.

Sex without love is seen as being "used" and is upsetting and "disgusting".

NO love = no sex.

[Jj66]

If sex is important to you, never marry someone who doesn't love sex for its own sake.