Revan32 Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I've found it almost impossible to find girls who share a lot of interests with myself. How important is that to a relationship? And how important is it to be similar in general personality wise? 1
mrldii Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 IMHO, having common values is much more important to a successful relationship than having common interests. Interests can be shared with friends, associates, business partners, etc., whereas having shared values is extremely important between two intimate partners; having conflicting values (even if it's just one) will simply tear apart any attempt at a long-term relationship. 15
walkingonair Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I've found it almost impossible to find girls who share a lot of interests with myself. How important is that to a relationship? And how important is it to be similar in general personality wise? It's not that important. It's more interesting when two people don't have similar interests and they learn from one another. We connect with people not through interests but it just happens. It's on a soul level. You feel comfortable with the person and it just feels right. 4
Ami1uwant Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 You need to have some common interests. Sure you could learn from each other snd actually end up liking them. Sometimes you could be total opposites on interests and it just foes not work out. If common interest you are looking for are sports, MMA, and video games you are likely not going to have much luck unless you are gay. Common values is also important. 1
Satu Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I don't see common interests as being vital. Its nice if somebody enjoys your enjoyment, though. 1
Jj66 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 It really depends on what you want from your relationship. 1
Jules Dash Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 IMHO, having common values is much more important to a successful relationship than having common interests. Interests can be shared with friends, associates, business partners, etc., whereas having shared values is extremely important between two intimate partners; having conflicting values (even if it's just one) will simply tear apart any attempt at a long-term relationship. I completely agree with this. Actually, I don't see having common interests really that beneficial when it comes to developing a strong relationship. Women usually will point this out when we are dating but I found out that it doesn't mean much a long time ago. Matter of fact, if I am dating a woman who repeatedly points that out, it is almost predictive of a parting of ways in the near future. However, when you share common values, that usually serve as a great springboard.
Author Revan32 Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 If common interest you are looking for are sports, MMA, and video games you are likely not going to have much luck unless you are gay. Common values is also important. Ughh I wish I was into that stuff. I just moved to Texas and every girl wants to talk about the Long Horns or Angies. I've never even watched a foot ball game! I'm more into reading, politics/current news and outdoors non sport stuff. I've literally only met 2 girls who also read. Its not a common thing with this current generation. My problem is i'm not a big talker. So if I don't have common interest with someone I run out of things to say to them VERY fast. Then comes the long awkward silences.
Jj66 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 In my experience there are plenty of "cerebral chicks" who want to talk about deep stuff. If you want to find them you need to hang out where they hang out. Book stores, museums, coffee shops, art exhibits, etc. They complain to me about how shallow all the guys are. So if you look you should have no problem finding someone you can talk to. 2
WonderKid Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 I'd say yes to a degree. I stay in an area where many women are into country things. I'm not. So right off the bad, it wouldn't work out. I click more with women who have similar interests to me. Because you have fun doing those interests together.
wb1988 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 having common values is much more important Totally agree. Interests come and go, it's the values that stick. 2
misspond Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Common values are much more important than common interests. Values are where you connect, interests give you discussion points. 1
MissBee Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 (edited) IMHO, having common values is much more important to a successful relationship than having common interests. Interests can be shared with friends, associates, business partners, etc., whereas having shared values is extremely important between two intimate partners; having conflicting values (even if it's just one) will simply tear apart any attempt at a long-term relationship. Ditto. Sometimes people prioritize common interests instead of values, or altogether mistake interests and values as the same thing. It's nice to have common interests, I think you need to have SOME common interests, and definitely without shared values, well....that will go nowhere fast. Also, some of one's interests can reflect one's values. I don't think it's really possible to have ZERO common interests and enjoy being together. In general for me, I need common values, that's a no-brainer. Then the interests are negotiable. If we share almost no common interests that's really difficult. Why? Because for me, a friendship is a necessary part of a relationship. Friendship includes, outside of sex, genuinely liking that person and liking to do things with them and if we have NOTHING we're both interested in or very little, it's hard to bond and spend time together. So I've found that my bfs and I tend to have at least some overlapping interests, be it that we both like traveling, we both are foodies, we like the same kind of music, we watch particular tv shows, we both care about a particular issue, something like that usually exists where we can do it together and bond over it which strengthens the friendship and the relationship as a whole. Then we're also free to have interests that the other doesn't share. Edited August 24, 2015 by MissBee 1
E-Squared Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Well, I don't expect all women that I like to be interested in everything that I am into. 1
thecrucible Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I agree that values are most important but we have to have something to talk about so I think there should be some general interests in common. So I like guys who are intellectual and enjoy reading but they don't have to have the same specific interests as me. This one is a deal breaker because my personality type wouldn't gel with someone who wasn't into reading and/or learning. Not that I do this 24/7. I also like guys who enjoy traveling and want to see the world (it's a major interest I want to follow throughout my life). But I think it's also good to have a few different interests as it's more intriguing and something you can learn from each other. I've learnt some cool stuff from guys I've dated in the past - I dated a guy who likes fire juggling, a couple of guys who were artists, a guy who enjoyed creative writing, some musicians and more. Well the last guy I dated was a guitarist and music was a big part of his life. It became a bit of an issue because he told me he was more into girls who are also very into music and he decided he didn't like me based on this, among other reasons too. I think this interest was a big part of his life, the same reading and learning is for me, and he wanted a girl who was the same as him on that. So it also depends on which are your most important interests...
xcupid Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I've found it almost impossible to find girls who share a lot of interests with myself. How important is that to a relationship? And how important is it to be similar in general personality wise? Common interests can help two people bond. There should be at least a couple of common interests otherwise what would you do together? What interests do you have that you can't find women with the same interests?
thecrucible Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 And how important is it to be similar in general personality wise? To answer this question too... In my experience it's best to date someone with a similar personality to you. This will generate fewer sparks but will have more long term potential. I'm naturally introverted so for a while I was attracted to guys that were more extroverted. Now I know that when dating extroverted guys we were not a good match for each other as I would need a lot of alone time and they'd be frustrated that I wasn't as into social time as they were. This is not something about my personality that is going to change and I am not looking to change anyone. Therefore, I know what will and will not work. At the same time, I believe that personalities have to balance. Now I am quite a sensitive and emotional person and cry quite often (not necessarily because I'm sad but because I am often moved by things). I was with a guy who was more emotional than me and I just found it impossible to be the strong one in the relationship. I know who I am and that I need a man who can look after me and whom I can depend on. That doesn't mean I don't want an equal relationship though. I think I am high maintenance in that regard and two of me would just be disaster.
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