Parents won't let me get a motorcycle.

[beautifulearth83]

Haven't posted here in awhile. Need to vent about something. I'm 32 years old and live with my parents. Living with my parents is OK, but recently I took a motorcycle class and got my license, and all the gear I need. I work really hard and own my own business, but don't really have too many outlets for fun/excitement/relaxation. I wanted riding a bike to be one of those things. And when I took the class, and had so much fun and was happy and smiled!

 

So I found a bike I was interested in, I decided to do the next right thing and talk to my parents about it first, because I would be keeping it in their garage. My Father said absolutely not. My Mom was a little more open-minded about it.

 

I'm so angry, sad, depressed, annoyed, frustrated, you name it. Not just because of a material item, but because of the lack of freedom I have to do something that makes ME happy.

 

The only solutions I can think of right now are moving out, which is a bit out of my ballpark right now, and finding a way to get a motorcycle and keep it somewhere else, which I'm not sure they'd be happy about either, and to me would feel like a waste of money.

 

I just really need to vent about this, because it's driving me nuts. I feel so bored today and it's beautiful outside. I hear motorcycles whizzing by in the streets and it makes me wanna blow my head off.

 

I feel like I always go out of my way to help my family and support what makes them happy. I feel like I've just been too nice all this time. Because the one time I want to do something, it's out of the question. So I've been a bit more assertive lately, and not so quick to please others, particularly because I'm not pleased!

Edited August 22, 2015 by beautifulearth83

[preraph]

You've got to get some things in perspective. A motorcycle is a luxury item. This is something you get after you are making plenty of money and living in your own place like an adult. You shouldn't be living at home at your age. Maybe you've been out before and are back, I don't know, but someone over 30 living with their parents? That's nuts and not normal or healthy or conducive to growing up. See the type of decision you are making? Choosing a big expensive toy over making a mature decision to get your own place or save money for the future? You won't ever grow up and mature to make better decisions until you are on your own paying all your own bills and feeling the full brunt of how difficult that is to do.

 

That said, I get it about the motorcycle. I was a motorcycle nut, and my parents didn't have any better sense than to let me have one when I was 12, mind you. But driving a motorcycle is one of the most dangerous things you can do -- and if you're going to do something that dangerous, best to choose something that pays well. You need full and extensive health coverage and even then, many bike wrecks will cripple you for life or are fatal. Doesn't matter it's usually the other guy's fault. It's you who will be dead and there are no "minor" motorcycle/car accidents. If you are living in a city, too dangerous and not really that much fun once you get the crap scared out of you. If you're in the country, maybe a better situation.

 

My cousin survived combat in the Marines only to lose his leg from a guy hitting him in his small town on his motorcycle. This was his one joy in life, riding, and trust me when I tell you I am the only relative he can even bemoan never having another one to ride without them getting really mad at him. If he could find a way, he'd still ride, but it would kill his mother, literally.

 

Save up, move out of the house, and I bet your priorities change as to what sounds appealing to you or like a good way to spend hard-earned dollars.

[Tayla]

you are blessed to have a roof over your head and parents that give guiding advice. I personally think its degrading to tell an adult who they can and cannot live with providing they are not mooching or into illegal activity.. You do what you need to do.

It sounds like you are a responsible person.

 

You do sound like you would very much enjoy a motorcycle! Good to have aspirations.

 

I come from three generations of cyclist, and luckily that bug left our family when hospital visits became the norm. Yes the same can happen in a car or any travel vehicle, yet as our slogan goes, when bikes are around, injuries abound. You can be the safest rider around, and a pot hole or weather conditions will not know the difference. rent one if need be, they allow that. But to invest and consider it a toy for joy may not be the way to persuade your parents to store it there. Can you rent a garage or parking space near by?

[Clarence_Boddicker]

You sound entitled. If you own your own business (an etsy page doesn't count in my opinion) why can't you move out? How much do you pay in rent? You could pay $50-100 a month to keep it at a storage unit. Your parents might get offended about that though.

[beautifulearth83]

you are blessed to have a roof over your head and parents that give guiding advice. I personally think its degrading to tell an adult who they can and cannot live with providing they are not mooching or into illegal activity.. You do what you need to do.

It sounds like you are a responsible person.

 

You do sound like you would very much enjoy a motorcycle! Good to have aspirations.

 

I come from three generations of cyclist, and luckily that bug left our family when hospital visits became the norm. Yes the same can happen in a car or any travel vehicle, yet as our slogan goes, when bikes are around, injuries abound. You can be the safest rider around, and a pot hole or weather conditions will not know the difference. rent one if need be, they allow that. But to invest and consider it a toy for joy may not be the way to persuade your parents to store it there. Can you rent a garage or parking space near by?

 

Hello Talya, thanks for the open-minded response. I was just looking at storage places so it's funny you mentioned that. I have my license now and all my gear, so if it isn't something I'm able to do now, perhaps I can in the future

 

And to everybody else, yes I understand that there are more important things in life, and that having my priorities straight is most important. I honestly at this point can't justify spending the money, as I am trying to grow my business and get on my feet.

 

I do agree with Talya that living at home is nothing to be ashamed of. I have been out on my own before and lived in different states. I returned home to deal with some obstacles in my life and to ground myself. Life has been heading in a good direction.

 

I've simply been looking for a fun outlet for my off time. And I've always been interested in motorcycles.

 

I have to say, I realize that my post may have come across sounding like a bratty teenager, but that is exactly why I'm here, to deal with that frustration. And to understand why I feel that way, and what to do about it.

 

Deep down honestly I couldn't care less about a material item. I have everything I need and do not plan on living too extravagantly.

 

If anything, I'm likely being affected by the fact that I should be free to make my own decisions. And, as mentioned, and as I'm aware of, that'll be a lot easier to do once I am completely out on my own.

 

So perhaps getting an apartment, or saving up for a house would be my best bet at this point. It's just hard because it's been so nice outside, and I see a number of people whizzing by on motorcycles and it drives me nuts.

 

Anyway, it is basically a goal of mine, a luxury that I wish to one day have. I just need to figure out how to get these urges, this restless child inside of me to relax and work toward it, instead of whine and pout about how I never get my own way.

[beautifulearth83]

So yeah, I've thought about it more and I've decided to put this motorcycle thing out of my head for awhile.

 

Right now it is most important for me to focus on growing my business and getting my feet. I want to live on my own and at the very least have the freedom to decide whether or not I'd like to buy a motorcycle. Know what I mean?

 

And I think I'm missing out on the life experiences that come along with living on your own. I miss cooking for myself sometimes, or being able to stay up late, etc. Sometimes I do feel like living at home with my parents stunts my growth, but I also love them very much.

 

My business is very new, so I am working on increasing the revenue and budgeting so I can afford rent. My goal is basically to be at a point where if I had nobody else in life, I would be able to stand on my feet.

 

I don't have kids or a wife/ex-wife. I don't have that many expenses. I do have credit cards to pay off, etc.

 

I guess I'm just trying to figure it all out and allow my life to take some direction. Maybe wanting to ride a motorcycle is some sort of symbol for my desire for freedom. Get it? I don't always do things knowing exactly why I do them.

 

And I have to disagree with the Etsy page comment. There are many people who make a good living doing so.

 

Can't say I really appreciate the more condescending comments, but I do appreciate being able to speak about it here and learn a bit more about the reality of my situation.

 

Thanks,

 

BE

[mrs rubble]

Is their major fear the safety issue??? Quite frankly there are so many awful drivers around, I believe you'd have to be darn near suicidal to take to the streets on a motorcycle......however off road trail bike riding doesn't have so many risks...maybe you could compromise???

[Poppyolive]

Get a scooter. I have an awesome scoit, that goes up to 80km. Maybe less dangerous looking to the parents eye. Also, they're much cheaper than a proper bike. You can use your gear, get the sun & wind on your face! Cheap, fun, freedom.

[Art_Critic]

What reason did your Dad give you for saying "no"

 

I fall on 2 different opposing sides of this and would like to hear his reason..

[d0nnivain]

Your age alone makes this issue a non-issue, imo. If you are 32 years old the solution is obvious: move out & do what you like. If you can't move out then you abide by the house rules. To suggest that your parents control decisions made by a middle aged man doesn't seem real to me.

[Diezel]

Move out first.

 

Then there will be no one to say "no" to you about this.

 

Problem solved.

 

Seriously, it's that simple.

[bathtub-row]

As I'm sure you already know, it takes work, dedication, sacrifice, and a host of other things to build a successful business. I think it's one of the most commendable things a person can do because I personally think working for others stinks. However, most people don't do what you're doing because they won't take the risk and they're not in the position to do so. You are, so take advantage of that. There's nothing wrong with a motorcycle, and I'm sure you understand the risks. However, if we never did anything because of risk, then we'd just all stay locked up in our houses.

 

When I was a kid, my dad taught me to ride a dirt bike and he'd create hills for me to jump. I freakin' loved it. I do, however, have a fear of large motorcycles but that's because I'm a girl and don't feel that I could control such a large bike. Anyway, they are wonderful and freeing. Make that one of the goals you reach for.

 

I am personally acquainted with several people who are millionaires because they started their own businesses and grew them into very successful companies. Whether you're chasing the dollar or not, and whether you care about material things or not, there's no doubt that having money makes our lives better. It gives us options. So spend the first few years building your business and one day you'll turn around and find that you'll be able to have all the things you want, and be your own boss!

[Siquijor]

OP, I hope you've been honest and told your parents you've been using the internet lately! Don't want you getting grounded

 

Seriously though, you're 32 - you don't need to ask permission to buy a motorcycle.

 

 

They may own the garage but they don't own you.

[carhill]

Ha, ha, buy what you want and accept that your parents will be opposed. Can they kick you out? Sure! It's their house. You're 32. It's OK. Get you a little folding trailer for the bike and head off into the world as a big adventure.

 

Myself, I figured if my exW kicked me out (she never did), I'd just walk out to the shop, jump in the RV and continue living like before, just smaller. Walk out the door, go to work, crack open a beer, no rules, no limitations. It's the same with parents. Do what you want to do. You're an adult. Accept the consequences and live your life.

[firemanq]

I was w/o a bike for 47 years. Family, children got in the way. When I was 65, I bought a bike, a 2002 HD Road King with the Screamin' Eagle package. Of course I did not stop with the bike, helmets, custom Langlitz jacket, gloves, boots, new tools. Some stuff was stupid, why do I need 3 windshields? I don't, but riding keeps me sane. But I love to ride! My girlfriend & I go places together, just day trips, no more than125 miles. My goal is to ride the same roads that we have bicycled the last 15 years. Next year, I intend to do a lot of camping off the bike. So if you see an old guy, with a white beard, on a purple Harley with silver flames, enough chrome to light up the sky, loud pipes, and a big smile, wave, it will be me.