Tygra Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Ive gone on a few dates where I didn't want to see the guy again but I hear from them that same day. I've been on a lot of first dates and wanted to see them again only to never hear from them. Men have described me as innocent and to nice. Those that said that never contacted me after the first date. Could that be why I attract guys I'm not attracted to? Several people said I look naive. What they don't realize is I am no longer naive. My mom recently said I've been through a lot and I am no longer naive. What can I do to attract guys I like?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Ive gone on a few dates where I didn't want to see the guy again but I hear from them that same day. I've been on a lot of first dates and wanted to see them again only to never hear from them. Men have described me as innocent and to nice. Those that said that never contacted me after the first date. Could that be why I attract guys I'm not attracted to? Several people said I look naive. What they don't realize is I am no longer naive. My mom recently said I've been through a lot and I am no longer naive. What can I do to attract guys I like? How does one look naive? This is something that is usually demonstrated in one's behaviour, not appearance. Who has told you this? Do you look much younger than you are? The first thing is to figure out what type of guy you want. Then do an inventory on yourself: What do you usually do on first dates? Are you shy? Talkative? Funny? etc
Author Tygra Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 How does one look naive? This is something that is usually demonstrated in one's behaviour, not appearance. Who has told you this? Do you look much younger than you are? The first thing is to figure out what type of guy you want. Then do an inventory on yourself: What do you usually do on first dates? Are you shy? Talkative? Funny? etc I look 8-10 years younger than I am. Everyone is always so shocked when they learn my age. They are like you don't look it you look so much younger. It's non relatives that have said that. I know the kind of guy I want. At first I am a little shy but not for long. Depending on how comfortable I feel with the guy depends on how talkative I am. How can my behavior determine who I attract?
katiegrl Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 (edited) Ive gone on a few dates where I didn't want to see the guy again but I hear from them that same day. I've been on a lot of first dates and wanted to see them again only to never hear from them. Men have described me as innocent and to nice. Those that said that never contacted me after the first date. Could that be why I attract guys I'm not attracted to? Several people said I look naive. What they don't realize is I am no longer naive. My mom recently said I've been through a lot and I am no longer naive. What can I do to attract guys I like? Here's my take fwiw. Many men like women with an *edge*. They enjoy the banter, the smartass-like back and forth, etc. Men who go for women like this also have a edge. They are usually confident, sure of themselves, even a little bit cocky. And women with an edge share these same qualities, more or less. Hence the mutual attraction! You said the men who reject you see you as "innocent and too nice.". NOT a woman with the *edge* they like, the subtle cockiness. So they reject you. So the the question is, what qualities do the men YOU like have? Are they men with a bit of an edge to them, confident, a bit cocky (in a fun way)? If so, then that's the problem. You like men with an edge, these men like women with an edge, but you are innocent and too nice! I dunno, maybe you can try becoming a woman with a bit of an edge yourself (read the book "Why Men Love Bytches,") or try becoming attracted to a different type of man ....the type who prefer innocent and nice. You know guys like this are out there, because they like you ...just as you are! It's important to be in snyc with each other....IMO. My $.02. Good luck! Edited August 22, 2015 by katiegrl
Author Tygra Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 Here's my take fwiw. Many men like women with an *edge*. They enjoy the banter, the smartass-like back and forth, etc. Men who go for women like this also have a edge. They are usually confident, sure of themselves, even a little bit cocky. And women with an edge share these same qualities, more or less. Hence the mutual attraction! You said the men who reject you see you as "innocent and too nice.". NOT a woman with the *edge* they like, the subtle cockiness. So they reject you. So the the question is, what qualities do the men YOU like have? Are they men with a bit of an edge to them, confident, a bit cocky (in a fun way)? If so, then that's the problem. You like men with an edge, these men like women with an edge, but you are innocent and too nice! I dunno, maybe you can try becoming a woman with a bit of an edge yourself (read the book "Why Men Love Bytches,") or try becoming attracted to a different type of man ....the type who prefer innocent and nice. You know guys like this are out there, because they like you ...just as you are! It's important to be in snyc with each other....IMO. My $.02. Good luck! I like the nice guy type. It sounds like you are suggesting I change myself to attract the guy I like. I am not doing that. I don't like being bitchy. I think now days being nice is outdated by men. I am not innocent like they think I am. I've been through more than any guy could realize. I am nice and I can be bitchy if I am really pushed to be. But just to attract a man I won't become a bitch. 1
katiegrl Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I like the nice guy type. It sounds like you are suggesting I change myself to attract the guy I like. I am not doing that. I don't like being bitchy. I think now days being nice is outdated by men. I am not innocent like they think I am. I've been through more than any guy could realize. I am nice and I can be bitchy if I am really pushed to be. But just to attract a man I won't become a bitch. I was suggesting that, but I also suggested you remain yourself too! If you are happy with yourself, then please DO NOT change! I only suggested that because the way you described yourself as "innocent and too nice," was not the real you. My apologies if I interpreted that incorrectly. And I the book "Why Men Love Bytches" is NOT about women being bytchy. It's about being strong, confident, standing up for yourself, not accepting crap behavior and maintaining boundaries. And not being afraid to asset yourself when necessary. While still being "nice." Men respect women like this ....become attracted to women like this. That's all... Again, good luck.
WonderKid Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I seem to only attract: -Really big women -Women with 2 or more kids -Women that have had physical or extreme emotional abuse in the past -Stoners Sometimes no matter what you do, it just is what it is.
Author Tygra Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 I was suggesting that, but I also suggested you remain yourself too! If you are happy with yourself, then please DO NOT change! I only suggested that because the way you described yourself as "innocent and too nice," was not the real you. My apologies if I interpreted that incorrectly. And I the book "Why Men Love Bytches" is NOT about women being bytchy. It's about being strong, confident, standing up for yourself, not accepting crap behavior and maintaining boundaries. And not being afraid to asset yourself when necessary. While still being "nice." Men respect women like this ....become attracted to women like this. That's all... Again, good luck. I'm sorry for taking your post wrong. The thing is I do stand up for myself. I don't let people walk over me. The men I want to see usually don't want to give me a chance. I just wish I knew how to attract the guys I like.
Author Tygra Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 I seem to only attract: -Really big women -Women with 2 or more kids -Women that have had physical or extreme emotional abuse in the past -Stoners Sometimes no matter what you do, it just is what it is. I do agree. I just wish I knew why guys I do like don't like me and why guys I don't like want to date me.
katiegrl Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I'm sorry for taking your post wrong. The thing is I do stand up for myself. I don't let people walk over me. The men I want to see usually don't want to give me a chance. I just wish I knew how to attract the guys I like. Well, have you thought about the way you behave and respond to the men you "are* attracted to versus those men you *are not* attracted to? Is your behavior and/or the energy/vibe you project different depending on how attracted you are? NOT suggesting it is, just wondering if that *might* be the case. It would NOT be uncommon if it is.
WonderKid Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I do agree. I just wish I knew why guys I do like don't like me and why guys I don't like want to date me. That is the yin and yang of dating. The people you want doesn't want you back and the people that want you, you don't want back. I would say, the only how to get the guy you like, is to take chances on things you normally wouldn't take chances on. That's what I do. The women I like, I admit I may be a bit weary of approaching them, but I do it anyways because I don't want to look back wondering "what if I...". So I say take chances man. If there's a guy you see attractive, the one that really blows the mind, say something casual. Or do something to get in his area. The ones you want won't fall in your lap. There's like a 5% chance of that happening. Lol Sometimes you gotta keep going.
katiegrl Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 (edited) Ive gone on a few dates where I didn't want to see the guy again but I hear from them that same day. I've been on a lot of first dates and wanted to see them again only to never hear from them. Men have described me as innocent and to nice. Those that said that never contacted me after the first date. Could that be why I attract guys I'm not attracted to? Several people said I look naive. What they don't realize is I am no longer naive. My mom recently said I've been through a lot and I am no longer naive. What can I do to attract guys I like? Wow, that is one thing my boyfriend adores about me! That I appear and look innocent, but am anything but! I watch porn, we watch porn together, we have sex that would put some porn stars to shame! I also love to talk dirty and am incredibly feisty! But to look at me, you would think I am as soft and demure as a kitten. You just need to find a guy who appreciates that you "look" innocent, but your personality is far from that. If he can't, next! Edited August 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
cessna Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I'm guessing when they say you look innocent they're wanting you to dispute that claim so that they can move the conversion in a more sexual direction.
spiderowl Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 (edited) Ive gone on a few dates where I didn't want to see the guy again but I hear from them that same day. I've been on a lot of first dates and wanted to see them again only to never hear from them. Men have described me as innocent and to nice. Those that said that never contacted me after the first date. Could that be why I attract guys I'm not attracted to? Several people said I look naive. What they don't realize is I am no longer naive. My mom recently said I've been through a lot and I am no longer naive. What can I do to attract guys I like? Most guys don't want to think about the guys their girlfriend might have had before them. This is not to say you have had anyone before him (you might have but that's not the point). However, by admitting you like porn, that opens the possibility to him that there might be more he doesn't know about you on the sex front. Maybe he feels threatened by this. It could just be him and another guy might find it interesting or exciting that you like porn. I have a friend who is quite 'prudish' when it comes to women. He thinks the stuff that goes on in porn films is 'disgusting'. I agree with a lot of what he says as I don't like the degrading, male-orientated porn. I do watch some of the videos that appeal to me. I know my friend would be horrified if I admitted that, though if he asked me outright I would. I also sense he would find it threatening in some way because of his view of women. There is nothing wrong with his view, it is just him, the way he is. See if your guy adjusts to his new knowledge. If he keeps referring to it in an unpleasant kind of way, then it probably still bothers him and you might want to consider whether you two are compatible. Being with someone overly judgmental when you are just being honest with him is not likely to work out well. Edited August 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
DatingDirection Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 It means you look pure, it's a great compliment. I love when men tell me that too. 1
hotpotato Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Are you more relaxed with guys you dont like?
Author Tygra Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 Are you more relaxed with guys you dont like? Not really. When I am around guys I don't like or don't have anything in common with I feel awkward and uncomfortable. It sucks when both of us are silently sitting there wondering what to say.
Author Tygra Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 It means you look pure, it's a great compliment. I love when men tell me that too. Thank you. That makes me feel better about it.
Hopeful30 Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 90% of the men you attract won't be the right guys for you. If there's only about 10% that would be a nice match for you, then you have to accept that most other men won't be to your liking. 1
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