down hearted Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 (edited) a year has passed and i can not believe how fast the time went. I am still dealing with my feelings here and there but its better and but sometimes i wish i had someone, not necessarily him just someone to spend time with etc but im working hard in moving on and doing better in my life,in a healthy and productive way. We haven't looked for each other at all, i haven't searched for him and neither him for me, yet i still have this stupid hope that he will try to look for me one day and i would love that just so he can see how hard i am trying to fulfill my dreams and how much better i am, yet a year has passed and i know if he hasnt until now he wont and it is better that way. i wish i could find someone else to focus my time and energy on, i just miss the company of someone to hang out with and do things with on the weekends etc.. it gets lonely have any of you ever felt this way? how do you deal with this? they say time heals all a year has passed and im still dealing, we were together for almost 10 years dont know if that helps. Will i ever get over him? i feel its never going to happen, i wonder if i even cross his mind. I just feel i will never find someone else... Edited August 22, 2015 by down hearted 1
erklat Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I went though all those symptoms. Hell, I'm still going sometimes. I don't know how I went. I constantly kept going, there is virtually nothing that I could achieve. However I still have massive pangs of regret sometimes. I've started to accept that I will probably feel like this from now on. Not like pining after her, but trauma she caused me is embedded in the foundation of my new personality.
Author down hearted Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 I went though all those symptoms. Hell, I'm still going sometimes. I don't know how I went. I constantly kept going, there is virtually nothing that I could achieve. However I still have massive pangs of regret sometimes. I've started to accept that I will probably feel like this from now on. Not like pining after her, but trauma she caused me is embedded in the foundation of my new personality. I feel as you do, i feel like he left me with trauma of some sort, certain things or memories haunt me and i feel terrible all over again of all the hurt he caused. If i see anything that reminds me of him song/place/anything that has to do with military (his was mil) which is hard to avoid here, i feel like im walking 5 steps backwards and feel horrible all over again. I just worry that this will never end. That i will never get over this hurt.
icyfeline Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Aw, 10 years is a long time with someone, I'm sure you'll always carry some memories to an extent. There are plenty of people out there & when you're ready, you'll find someone else. Yes time does heal, but depending on the relationship, length, people involved, it's different for everyone - there's no set time in which you're supposed to heal. Post on here as much as you need, write a letter to get everything out if it helps, for you only though - not to send. Keep yourself productive in any way you can. It will get better, the only thing you can do is continue moving forward & working on yourself. *Hugs* ♥
Author down hearted Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 (edited) Aw, 10 years is a long time with someone, I'm sure you'll always carry some memories to an extent. There are plenty of people out there & when you're ready, you'll find someone else. Yes time does heal, but depending on the relationship, length, people involved, it's different for everyone - there's no set time in which you're supposed to heal. Post on here as much as you need, write a letter to get everything out if it helps, for you only though - not to send. Keep yourself productive in any way you can. It will get better, the only thing you can do is continue moving forward & working on yourself. *Hugs* ♥ thanks so much for the advice, at times i want to write him but nothing crazy i just sometimes want him to know that i am doing good in my life because he probably thinks that i am nothing without him and that is not the case. I have been tempted but its probably a really bad idea and in no way will it help me to move on.Maybe silence does speak louder than words and maybe my silence to him for the past year will translate as him thinking " wow i havent heard from her at all she really does not need me" i guess Edited August 23, 2015 by down hearted
icyfeline Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 thanks so much for the advice, at times i want to write him but nothing crazy i just sometimes want him to know that i am doing good in my life because he probably thinks that i am nothing without him and that is not the case. I have been tempted but its probably a really bad idea and in no way will it help me to move on.Maybe silence does speak louder than words and maybe my silence to him for the past year will translate as him thinking " wow i havent heard from her at all she really does not need me" i guess I struggle not to contact my ex as well for the same reasons you stated, & I also hope he'll at least look me up even though I doubt he has. It's so hard I know. You said it perfectly though, your silence will definitely speak louder than words. He'll be forced to wonder about you & left in the dark as far as your life goes. & if he does look you up while you're not speaking to him & sees how amazing you're doing without him...well you can't lose either way! Not that you need any of that validation, you're an amazing person all on your own.
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