Met up with the ex, biggest mistake ever!

[15Love]

Acting like an adult?

 

Did nothing wrong?

 

Things were going fine until she started a conversation about her ex, telling me how intense their relationship was, that he had a nice car and a business.

 

When i asked why she was telling me this she couldn't answer, she also decided to list my flaws and go on to say how horrible our relationship got.

 

So thats where she went wrong, an adult would have left the past alone but she felt inclined to drag it up to get a reaction and an ego boost.

 

Why was it OBVIOUS we weren't getting back together?

 

I'm entitled to my feelings am i?

 

Thanks for that.

 

You ARE entitled to your feelings. Especially here on LS.

 

Imo she was not being kind and I think that's what's upsetting you. If she had been, she wouldn't have mentioned the other guy at all.

 

Any time someone wants to "get together" there's a possibility there. It wasn't obvious.

 

But what IS obvious is that she's not someone you want to make a priority. She hasn't made you one. Please please don't react to her. Reading your planned response if she does say anything sounds like you care. As nonchalant as it might sound in your head...it just sounds "emotional". If she wants an ego boost don't give it to her. Just leave her hangin.

[Simon Phoenix]

This has to be my favourite response, its like you know her.

 

I wish i gave her some home truths about how flawed she is instead of pandering to her, i really want to let her know that shes not all that, but if i message now 3 days later its gonna seem contrived and like ive been thinking about it.

 

Like i said as it stands ive deleted her from fb and ignored her message, if she says " whats going on i thought we were friends" then i will give her

 

" if you think our relationship was so horrible towards the end, then it's not worth being friends after either, bye have a nice life."

 

Im kind of hoping she does make contact so i can then shut her down with this response, or perhaps like what phoenix, 15 love and diesel have said Block her and have done with it.

 

Whatever happens i thank you all for your support.

 

You really need to get off this "one last message" kick you're on for a couple reasons. 1) that message comes off as whiny, pouty and petty and is not a good look and 2) it will keep you in the muck. Either she messages you a bunch to get you comfortably back in the friend zone or she'll peace out completely, which will make you feel guilty down the road for being harsh, which will make you want to contact her to "apologize". No messages.

 

Stop overthinking and block. Simple.

[15Love]

You really need to get off this "one last message" kick you're on for a couple reasons. 1) that message comes off as whiny, pouty and petty and is not a good look and 2) it will keep you in the muck. Either she messages you a bunch to get you comfortably back in the friend zone or she'll peace out completely, which will make you feel guilty down the road for being harsh, which will make you want to contact her to "apologize". No messages.

 

Stop overthinking and block. Simple.

 

Perfect advice!

[Tobin]

She is not a bitch, she is acting like an adult and you do not like it as you thought that the lunch was the start of getting back with her, when it obviously wasn't. You are projecting your anger onto her.

 

She did nothing wrong here, she was in a relationship that wasn't working for her, she broke it up with you and then moved on to another man, that is what people do. That is what dating is all about.

 

She now tries to maintain a friendship with you, but that is NOT possible due to how YOU feel and that is OK, you are entitled to your feelings, but that is not really HER fault either.

 

She was acting like an adult, using him as a sounding board to say how great her new relationship and how crappy their relationship was?

 

She's inconsiderate, selfish, and immature, and to call this type of behavior that becoming of an adult says a lot about the person who has such a warped perception.