Will my boyfriend choose me over family if I'm innocent and adorable?

[JessieMoo]

Hi. So his family can be pretty mean sometimes especially his mom. They're mostly passive aggressive though and I pretty much just act super sweet and like I'm not picking up on it even though i am. I hear his mom in the next room arguing with him about me and I feel like things are escalating...slowly but surely. I'm worried he's gonna be in the position to choose sides. I really want to be the one he stands by and sticks up for. So if i just continue this clueless and innocent act while also being sweet and adorable will he feel more inclined to choose me?? Of course I'm not gonna come out and ask him to because that will make me look like a b!tch and then he probably won't. So basically it's his grumpy b!tchy mom vs sweet innocent girlfriend. And on the outside i really am innocent! Even though I think these things i give off this ditsy, overly nice cute girl vibe. It also helps that I am 5 foot 1 inches tall and lo ke 115 poinds with a cute fave. I've never said or done anything rude to my boyfriends family so they're the bad guys and i hope my innocent act only fuels my boyfriends urge to protect and defend me. As long as i keep my cool and be the innocent one he'll side with me right?

[CollegeKid101]

I would ask him what's the problem. Say he picks you, the family will still not like you and cause problems within the relationship. Address the issue, if they are just "bad guys" like you said, I would either move on or move away with your boyfriend if you are at the appropriate age to do that.

[Siquijor]

Why has his mother got an issue with you?

[Revan32]

I'm going through a very similar situation. The mom of a girl I'm starting to see doesn't like me at all. ****ty situation all around.

 

For me, the choice is easy. If my family doesn't like my choice for who I want to spend my life with, then they can kiss my ass. (I have a great family who would never argue with me though )

[JessieMoo]

Hard to say. They are kind of easy to piss off. I try to be the best i can be but they find little things to pick at. Like if I'm staying over for a night they try to say every little noise at night was made by me even if it was a squirrel dropping an egg corn outside. I just play dumb, innocent and sweet because i think maybe he'll respect and admire me for that. You know if he thinks I'm too naive to know what they think and continue being nice

[ExpatInItaly]

Hi. So his family can be pretty mean sometimes especially his mom. They're mostly passive aggressive though and I pretty much just act super sweet and like I'm not picking up on it even though i am. I hear his mom in the next room arguing with him about me and I feel like things are escalating...slowly but surely. I'm worried he's gonna be in the position to choose sides. I really want to be the one he stands by and sticks up for. So if i just continue this clueless and innocent act while also being sweet and adorable will he feel more inclined to choose me?? Of course I'm not gonna come out and ask him to because that will make me look like a b!tch and then he probably won't. So basically it's his grumpy b!tchy mom vs sweet innocent girlfriend. And on the outside i really am innocent! Even though I think these things i give off this ditsy, overly nice cute girl vibe. It also helps that I am 5 foot 1 inches tall and lo ke 115 poinds with a cute fave. I've never said or done anything rude to my boyfriends family so they're the bad guys and i hope my innocent act only fuels my boyfriends urge to protect and defend me. As long as i keep my cool and be the innocent one he'll side with me right?

 

Don't count on it. Your appearance will have nothing to do with it. Family often trumps the partners, unfortunately. How old are you both, and why doesn't his mom like you?

 

Have you created threads about this before? I recall a similar one recently, posted by both the girlfriend and boyfriend in this equation.

[JessieMoo]

Don't count on it. Your appearance will have nothing to do with it. Family often trumps the partners, unfortunately. How old are you both, and why doesn't his mom like you?

 

Have you created threads about this before? I recall a similar one recently, posted by both the girlfriend and boyfriend in this equation.

Both 18. I'm not sure why they don't like me. I really haven't done anything but they get so annoyed easily and unnecessarily rude .

[stupidkittten]

In my experience, if the parents don't have a good reason for feeling that way (sometimes even if they do) the person almost always sides with their partners. Nobody likes being told what to do. Unless he's a really big momma's boy, you should be fine. Has he acted weird towards you or done anything that might suggest he's starting to pick her over you? You said you hear them argue, what does he say?

[stupidkittten]

Also if it's really obvious she doesn't like you. I would just ask him. I would say something like "I really get the vibe that your mom doesn't like me. Am I right?". If he says no, then just drop it but if he says yeah, ask him if there's anything you can do to help or make her like you. Just don't insult his mom because then you may push him away.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

People usually chose family, especially if they are dependent on them.

[casey.lives]

I think if you think being this way is the cause of the personality conflicts, why not present a more mature worldly maybe tomboyishness.. try something else! Help the situation!!!!! Don't drive a wedge between family!

[mrldii]

...I've never said or done anything rude to my boyfriends family so they're the bad guys and i hope my innocent act only fuels my boyfriends urge to protect and defend me. As long as i keep my cool and be the innocent one he'll side with me right?

 

Maybe his family members - and especially his mom - are old enough and experienced enough to know that it is just an act

 

and they're not buying it?

[SmartDude]

You are 18 and an adult.

His mom needs to follow the rules of adults and not be judgmental of other people.

If she can't follow that basic rule then you will need to remove yourself from the situation.

 

Meaning...If she starts to be hostile twards you. Don't say anything and just leave the room. Don't get upset! Just show your dissatisfaction in a non-bitchy way.

[losangelena]

Have you created threads about this before? I recall a similar one recently, posted by both the girlfriend and boyfriend in this equation.

 

I was thinking the same thing—the term "innocent and adorable" was so familiar. Can't find it in a search, though.

 

Regardless, OP, putting on an "act" of any kind will only backfire in the long run. Why do you want to be with a BF who will only take your side if you act a certain way? Why not find one who either has a good relationship with his family, or doesn't feel the need to "choose" between you.

[Gaeta]

You are 18 and an adult.

His mom needs to follow the rules of adults and not be judgmental of other people.

If she can't follow that basic rule then you will need to remove yourself from the situation.

 

Meaning...If she starts to be hostile twards you. Don't say anything and just leave the room. Don't get upset! Just show your dissatisfaction in a non-bitchy way.

 

The mother does not need to follow any rules. It's her house, her rules. For some reasons the mother does not like this young girl to be in her home. OP should respect that and not show up there anymore.

 

In life if you are not welcome somewhere then you don't visit. The house does not belong to her 18 yo boyfriend.

 

If her boyfriend had a tiny bit of maturity he would not bring his girlfriend over either. What kind of boyfriend let people around criticize his girlfriend and not remove her from the situation.