smurfturf Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Me (24 | M) hooked up with this girl (25 | F) a couple weeks ago at the local bar. We didn't go "all the way" that first night (no condom). We had a great time drinking and dancing and ended up going back to her place. I left in the morning. She told me to call her "Snake" but I knew we went to the same high school and later found her name in an old yearbook. I went back to her place a couple days later and we had sex. It wasn't the most amazing thing ever, but I'd say it went alright. I'd say we definitely had some sexual chemistry but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Since then I have seen her at the bar another time and had another great time playing ping-pong and talking. Last time I dropped her off she thought that I was trying to come up, so she said something like "I guess I could invite you up....but I'm not going to." No big- can't win em all. This week I skipped this week's karaoke night (we met there). Well I had given it a few days so I stopped by the coffee shop where she works. At this point we still have not exchanged phone numbers so the only way to contact her is to ratatat on her door. She answered and we sat on her swing chair next to each other and smoked a wake-n'-bake and had a great time laughing and talking. I gave her my business card with my cell number on it. At the end I said "alright see you later". I walked down the steps and then walked back being like "hey so maybe you want to do that other thing" and a bit awkwardly slapped her butt while she skeptically looked back at me. So what do you think? Is she just not interested at all? Wanted to keep it a one-(or-two)night-stand? Or do you think she wants to be friends? Or maybe not at all? Do you think I need to ask her or keep playing it cool and wait for when she's ready? I am planning on just waiting to see if she reaches out, but on the other hand, I want to just ask her whats the deal? Its hard to believe she is really just not interested at all considering event his morning she was sitting real close to me. Could it all be a big test? Or maybe she doesn't want me to see her as being too easy?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Dear internet, I need to know what another person is thinking so let me give you an incomplete, one-sided description of the situation and have you give me an answer. Sure, I could probably ask that person directly, but your the all-knowing anonymous people on the internet so you obviously have great advice. Seriously, grow a pair and tell her what you want and ask her if its the same thing she wants. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Ok, I'll give you my interpretation: (34, female here) If I had slept with a guy twice and he still didn't ask for my number, I would assume all he was interested in was sex. You need to stop playing it so cool if you want to see her again and not just for sex. Ask her out properly. At the moment, you're coming across as uninterested in anything more than a booty call. If you had given me your freakin' business card with your number, you wouldn't be hearing from me. Too impersonal and casual.
Author smurfturf Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 Ok, I'll give you my interpretation: (34, female here) If I had slept with a guy twice and he still didn't ask for my number, I would assume all he was interested in was sex. You need to stop playing it so cool if you want to see her again and not just for sex. Ask her out properly. At the moment, you're coming across as uninterested in anything more than a booty call. If you had given me your freakin' business card with your number, you wouldn't be hearing from me. Too impersonal and casual. I appreciate your advice. I didn't even think about that as a possibility. I didn't want to come off as being too forward and that is why I hadn't asked for it yet. But it is definitely better than being in the situation where the only way I can contact her is through either running into her at the bar or stopping by her place. My main concern is that maybe she was more interested in a hookup-buddy type arrangement instead of something more serious. But now that you point that it's probably more likely the other way.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 I appreciate your advice. I didn't even think about that as a possibility. I didn't want to come off as being too forward and that is why I hadn't asked for it yet. But it is definitely better than being in the situation where the only way I can contact her is through either running into her at the bar or stopping by her place. My main concern is that maybe she was more interested in a hookup-buddy type arrangement instead of something more serious. But now that you point that it's probably more likely the other way. Man, you've already had sex with her. You have been inside her. Don't worry so much about being forward now, you kind of passed that point. Women like confident men. Take the reigns here and ask her out, if that's what you want. Her response will clear up any confusion immediately. 4
losangelena Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Man, you've already had sex with her. You have been inside her. Don't worry so much about being forward now, you kind of passed that point. Women like confident men. Take the reigns here and ask her out, if that's what you want. Her response will clear up any confusion immediately. Haha, that's what I was going to say! Too forward?! You have boned, there is nothing left to explore on that front. I mean, I would question the general seriousness of someone who calls herself "snake" and enjoys wakey-bakies on the patio swing. BUT, if you like her, and want to do MORE than bone her, then maybe saying things like, "hey so maybe you want to do that other thing" isn't such a good idea. That makes it seem like you gave her your number JUST for a booty call. I agree with the others—ASK HER. We sure as well don't know what she wants. Jeebus. 1
Author smurfturf Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 (edited) I mean, I would question the general seriousness of someone who calls herself "snake" and enjoys wakey-bakies on the patio swing. BUT, if you like her, and want to do MORE than bone her, then maybe saying things like, "hey so maybe you want to do that other thing" isn't such a good idea. That makes it seem like you gave her your number JUST for a booty call. I agree with the others—ASK HER. We sure as well don't know what she wants. Jeebus. Definitely wish I had been more direct in asking her out this morning. Because that really was my plan. The reason I said I didn't want to "come off as being too forward" was because exactly that she calls herself snake and says i better watch out. But just because she isn't interested in anything serious doesn't mean she wouldn't be open to having sex again. Edited August 21, 2015 by smurfturf
losangelena Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Well there you go. That sounds like a win-win to me. Maybe she just wants sex, or maybe she wants something more. Just stay the course.
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