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My girlfriend broke up with me and went back to her ex? Do I have a chance?

Samuel_22

By Samuel_22,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Samuel_22

Samuel_22

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Hi everyone, my girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago and went back to her ex, we had such a good relationship with each other, until this guy showed up, things started to seem strange from 2 months ago, she kept telling me she was confused and that she did not know what she wanted, to saying that she was not a good person anymore etc etc, but she kept telling me she loved me, even the last time went out with each other, which was 3 weeks ago, she laid her head on my shoulder, and told me how safe she felt around me (Jesus this memory is starting to punish me again). when she told me the story 2 weeks ago she said she did not know if she was making the right decision and she told me she couldn't give me 100% of her feelings at that moment. I left the doors open to her to come back, although I told her I wouldn't promise anything, and she didn't rule out any possiblilites, also she said we might be the right people for one another in the end. Maaan! I thought she was the one, now the thing I want to know is that, do you think she will come back again, do you think their relationship will work? how long do these relationships usually last? do you have any experience? Also I know that because she is religious, she is not going to have sex with this guy...I have said enough tell me what to do please... ( I am on no contact for 10 days now, but I desperately want her back)

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ChiTessa

ChiTessa

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My instinct is it will not work out with this other person. But I'm not sure I would want someone who has chosen another over me. Maybe her heart was broke by this other and you were very comforting. A rebound. I don't mean to be harsh. If she does realize you are the one I bet it happens quickly. She might be very confused right now. Good for you for keeping your distance!

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Samuel_22

Samuel_22

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Was it her most recent ex? How long after they'd broken up did you get together?

I didn't know that when we made friends, they had just broken up, but the guy didn't show up just until 2 months ago I suppose, when she started acting weird etc, the thing is that I don't know how long they had been friends before they broke up for the first time.

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Samuel_22

Samuel_22

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My instinct is it will not work out with this other person. But I'm not sure I would want someone who has chosen another over me. Maybe her heart was broke by this other and you were very comforting. A rebound. I don't mean to be harsh. If she does realize you are the one I bet it happens quickly. She might be very confused right now. Good for you for keeping your distance!

I know what you mean , it is just this thing, that I had so much love and affection for this one, emotionally I invested a lot in this relationship, I am not a teenager, nah I am 27 years old, how many girlfriends did I have? maybe 20 is a safe number, but this one maaan!!! she was different... was she a super model? hell no, some even told me that I deserved better, more beautiful gals. but man! I loved this one, yeah I treated her like a princess, I acted in a clingy, needy way in the last 2 months, I was afraid of losing her, such a fool I am, I should have known, women like bad guys not good ones, I made a mess of it! hell I hate this life! so that's it? I can't do anything right now, right? I just have to sit down and see what happens, Jesus I feel fate is mocking at me bro

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BriNyc82

BriNyc82

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I know what you mean , it is just this thing, that I had so much love and affection for this one, emotionally I invested a lot in this relationship, I am not a teenager, nah I am 27 years old, how many girlfriends did I have? maybe 20 is a safe number, but this one maaan!!! she was different... was she a super model? hell no, some even told me that I deserved better, more beautiful gals. but man! I loved this one, yeah I treated her like a princess, I acted in a clingy, needy way in the last 2 months, I was afraid of losing her, such a fool I am, I should have known, women like bad guys not good ones, I made a mess of it! hell I hate this life! so that's it? I can't do anything right now, right? I just have to sit down and see what happens, Jesus I feel fate is mocking at me bro

 

Just remember. Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. You became clingy AFTER she mentally checked out. It didn't matter how you acted from that point on out. Even if she came back do you really want to be her plan B?

 

Not all girls like bad guys :)

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Your relationship was only 6 months long. Her EX was back for the last 2 meaning that for 1/3 of your relationship he was around.

 

 

I do no think you have another chance with her. She was never over him when she was with you.

 

 

Even if she does stay with him for a while then break up again & comes crawling back to you, you should not take her back. She is not somebody who knows her own mind. She also doesn't make good decisions. If you made her safe but none of the things that broke her relationship apart were fixed & she still went back to him, you can't trust her to make intelligent choices.

 

 

Let her go. Reminisce fondly about what you shared but then move forward with your own life leaving her in the past while you find somebody who feels about you, the way you feel about her. This girl was not that.

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Gus Grimly

Gus Grimly

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Why are you settling on being this person's backup plan? Where are your standards? If she truly loved you in no way would she just up and leave the minute the Ex shows up. No way man. Tell her it to take a hike.

 

Look you love this girl but she's got no character. If she wasn't over this guy she shouldn't be getting in a relationship with other people. How is that fair? You're a better person than her. Don't be a door mat. Go NC and vanish from her life, otherwise if you do take her back she will know that you're weak and can pull this stunt anytime she pleases and come running back when it falls apart.

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Samuel_22

Samuel_22

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Just remember. Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. You became clingy AFTER she mentally checked out. It didn't matter how you acted from that point on out. Even if she came back do you really want to be her plan B?

 

Not all girls like bad guys :)

Hell no, this is not what I want, plan B!! nah!! I just don't know how on earth I am supposed to get over her, I have tried to move on...I just went hunting a couple of times, but man! you see everyone that passes by, I keep comparing her to my ex! and I then I say she is not the one! God knows how many packs of cigarettes I have smoked in these 2 weeks, past is like pieces of broken mirror, you want to pick them up, but you end up cutting yourself...I donno man...I am stuck here, I have a feeling she will come back, but how are things gonna be the same?

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Samuel_22

Samuel_22

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Why are you settling on being this person's backup plan? Where are your standards? If she truly loved you in no way would she just up and leave the minute the Ex shows up. No way man. Tell her it to take a hike.

 

Look you love this girl but she's got no character. If she wasn't over this guy she shouldn't be getting in a relationship with other people. How is that fair? You're a better person than her. Don't be a door mat. Go NC and vanish from her life, otherwise if you do take her back she will know that you're weak and can pull this stunt anytime she pleases and come running back when it falls apart.

Well I have a question, she is 22! can it be her age? I mean maybe she doesn't know what she is doin? maybe she is too immature to get it that a pile of **** is not popular because it is surrounded by flies? I keep asking myself, what if she came back, and wanted to start a serious relationship this time? what if she sees the big picture now, and get over her ex forever? is it possible?

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Gus Grimly

Gus Grimly

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Well I have a question, she is 22! can it be her age?

Yes, because she's not emotionally mature at that age. It's not uncommon. You are gonna put yourself through a lot of hell hanging onto someone who's so flakey. When I was 30 I dated a 23-year-old and it was a nightmare.

 

I wouldn't bother with this one. She might be all that to you, trust me she's not.

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Mondmellonw

Mondmellonw

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My two cents.

I am a 21 girl and I have never dumped a recent partner to get back together with an ex.

To me, an ex is that... AN EX.

One has to get over a relationship to be with another person, that due to both self respect and respect for the other person.

But that is just the way I think. :p

 

 

Good luck!

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Samuel_22

Samuel_22

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Yes, because she's not emotionally mature at that age. It's not uncommon. You are gonna put yourself through a lot of hell hanging onto someone who's so flakey. When I was 30 I dated a 23-year-old and it was a nightmare.

 

I wouldn't bother with this one. She might be all that to you, trust me she's not.

Well end of the line, I am gonna trust you all... well I am in this situation now, I bet I can't see the big picture , you are unbiased, and looking at things from another perspective... End of the line man! No U turn for me! Thank you all for the time... It hurts but I am gonna move on... I have been through worse in my life, not emotionally right, but this is not any harder

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