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Lonliness, Denial and The Little Things


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About a year and a half ago I fell in love, or thought I fell in love (is there a difference?). When I was with her I didn't feel lonely, for the first time in possibly decades. I not only loved her but I liked her, know what I mean? We also banged each other like two rabid monkeys who fell into a swimming pool full of cocaine. Well, for reasons I'm still puzzling out, about a year ago we stopped seeing each other.

 

I was devastated, heartbroken so badly that I didn't realize it. For a year I pretended it didn't happen; that it didn't hurt.

 

Recently we started communicating again. She insisted that she's very happy with her current boyfriend, yet she said some things to me that a woman who is happy with her current boyfriend would never say to another man.

 

Now I may have been in denial for a year but I must have learned something, because I was suspicious. So, partly as a test, partly because I needed to hear it, before I went to bed one night I asked her to send me a text, a simple text; just some generic encouraging words that I could read the next day (she knew I was dealing with a lot of crap).

 

The next morning she sent an email, something about her being busy and not being able to respond to texts for a while.

 

So, my suggestion is, if you're confused about a current or prior relationship ask yourself: Did they do the little things?

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