CarrieT Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I'm proud of you BDT - this has been a long, hard road and even if the whole Allison thing doesn't pan out, I believe you are heading in the right direction with divorcing your wife. 3
oldshirt Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I keep seeing it over and over again but I don't know what CSA is. What does CSA stand for?
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I'm proud of you BDT - this has been a long, hard road and even if the whole Allison thing doesn't pan out, I believe you are heading in the right direction with divorcing your wife. CarrieT, Thank you for your support.
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I keep seeing it over and over again but I don't know what CSA is. What does CSA stand for? Childhood Sexual Abuse = CSA
qubist Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I wish you all the luck, you've been fighting in 2 fronts for too long. hopefully this will make you finally face you own issues without the ordeal of your wife craziness. I'm not a believer of "exit affairs" or rebound relationship, but if that's the only way for you to take care of yourself so be it. one last thing be patient in your new relationship do not invest all your emotions immediately 1
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I wish you all the luck, you've been fighting in 2 fronts for too long. hopefully this will make you finally face you own issues without the ordeal of your wife craziness. I'm not a believer of "exit affairs" or rebound relationship, but if that's the only way for you to take care of yourself so be it. one last thing be patient in your new relationship do not invest all your emotions immediately Qubist, Thanks for your support, I do not believe in exit affairs or rebound relationships either, but yet here I am. I will do my best to not get too emotionally connected to Allison, too soon. She just texted me to ask me if I wanted to meet her for dinner tonight and I said yes. I do not think that I would have ever been able to escape my wife without her being there. It is what it is. 1
turnera Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) Wow. Boy, did I get played. You did a REALLY GOOD JOB of keeping Allison talk to a minimum and pretending you really were just being trained. Edited November 19, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed personal attack and insult ~6
qubist Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Qubist, Thanks for your support, I do not believe in exit affairs or rebound relationships either, but yet here I am. I will do my best to not get too emotionally connected to Allison, too soon. She just texted me to ask me if I wanted to meet her for dinner tonight and I said yes. I do not think that I would have ever been able to escape my wife without her being there. It is what it is. do whatever you think will help, your STBXW will be hurt by hopefully she'll get the help she needs and move on too. I know you are a gentleman and won't make it any harder than it already is. make sure you have fun and enjoy not just tonight dinner but your life. 1
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) Wow. Boy, did I get played. You did a REALLY GOOD JOB of keeping Allison talk to a minimum and pretending you really were just being trained. Tunera, no I haven't had sex with Allison, we have been friends for a long time and we have a connection with each other. I tried very hard to save my marriage and my wife just kept up to her old ways. I would rather be with my wife, but I can never trust her. I only kissed Allison last night for the first time, not even romantically . No one was played I just played the crappy hand of cards that I was dealt in life. Even I deserve a break from this madness . Edited November 19, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator clean up of quote ~6
aliveagain Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 BDT, just how many chances do you have to give a cheating wife before she becomes a STBXW and then an EX? She's banged her way through the men and women of your neighbourhood. Seeing her in your neighbourhood pub with other men openly dating is absolutely shameful, you deserve better. Allison sounds heavenly, can you post her bicep with yours? Just weeks ago your STBXW was threatening you with divorce, I guess a wish fairy was listening. Just in case things get nasty and your STBXW decides to make things hard and won't share any of her old family recipes, remember, you still know an Italian near the Rock Mountains who has them all. 1
LifesontheUp Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Just a word of warning BDT. You are vulnerable right now. A 'new' woman in the mix is too soon. 2
turnera Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Tunera, no I haven't had sex with Allison, we have been friends for a long time and we have a connection with each other. I tried very hard to save my marriage and my wife just kept up to her old ways. I would rather be with my wife, but I can never trust her. I only kissed Allison last night for the first time, not even romantically . No one was played I just played the crappy hand of cards that I was dealt in life. Even I deserve a break from this madness . I never said you had sex. I said you'd been cheating with her while making it look to us like you weren't.
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 BDT, just how many chances do you have to give a cheating wife before she becomes a STBXW and then an EX? She's banged her way through the men and women of your neighbourhood. Seeing her in your neighbourhood pub with other men openly dating is absolutely shameful, you deserve better. Allison sounds heavenly, can you post her bicep with yours? Just weeks ago your STBXW was threatening you with divorce, I guess a wish fairy was listening. Just in case things get nasty and your STBXW decides to make things hard and won't share any of her old family recipes, remember, you still know an Italian near the Rock Mountains who has them all. Alive, Thank You. I know it looks bad to be starting a relationship now but it really wasn't planned, it just happened. I may take you up on the recipes. 1
aliveagain Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Alive, Thank You. I know it looks bad to be starting a relationship now but it really wasn't planned, it just happened. I may take you up on the recipes. You do what you need to do to survive, get health and make sure your the best dad you can be to your children. Fu*k what anyone else thinks. Your soon to be ex wife is jealous of Allison because she still thinks like a cheater, their the most jealous people on the earth. She had her chances but chose to squander the gift of reconciliation you gave her over the years, too bad. Your turn to be selfish my friend. 1
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 You do what you need to do to survive, get health and make sure your the best dad you can be to your children. Fu*k what anyone else thinks. Your soon to be ex wife is jealous of Allison because she still thinks like a cheater, their the most jealous people on the earth. She had her chances but chose to squander the gift of reconciliation you gave her over the years, too bad. Your turn to be selfish my friend. Alive, I am a very doting father to my children, I spoil them terribly. That will never change, my kids know Allison from the gym and like her, but they will come first. I do feel that my Wife threw away my gift of R and I just will never trust her again, if I attempted R I would be here again in a year or two with the same thread. I am getting better and stronger thank you for your support. 3
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 Can you continue individual counseling after you're moved? It's in your best interest to face that and get to the other side of it all. Some counsellors will do your session by phone if you're further away... S2B, I plan to either speak with the same T on phone for my sessions until I find someone else. I am not going to quit, I have come too far to drop this. Thanks for your support 1
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 Dude so she cheats and then tells you that you need to let go of it. Yeah, time to get rid of her. Just how horrible do you have to be to cheat and then say crap like that? Specte, I missed your post, my thoughts exactly.
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I did finally end my 21 year marriage. It was not an easy thing for me to do, I am physically ill today, it has been strangely quiet with my STBXW. I thought that she would be blowing up my phone. I will keep my course until the end. When I feel weak I will re-read this thread. 3
TobyBoy Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 I did finally end my 21 year marriage. It was not an easy thing for me to do, I am physically ill today, it has been strangely quiet with my STBXW. I thought that she would be blowing up my phone. I will keep my course until the end. When I feel weak I will re-read this thread. Hmmm......maybe she's is reading your thread!!!
merrmeade Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Watching you grow and deal with incredibly difficult life events throughout this thread has been humbling and inspiring. I wish you so much happiness, BDT, and think you will be fine in every way. This is one instance in which I think starting a new relationship on top of quitting an old abusive one does not sound alarming. I don't have a lot of reasons I can offer quickly, but it sounds healthy and you sound confident and understanding of what makes good choices. Also you've suffered so much that you deserve a healthy adult relationship sooner than later. I'm envious. 1
66Charger Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) I 100% agree with the woman from the sea. Take a break and figure out who you are and where you want to be. Edited November 20, 2015 by 66Charger 2
conpron5 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Wow. Boy, did I get played. You did a REALLY GOOD JOB of keeping Allison talk to a minimum and pretending you really were just being trained. get a life 2
conpron5 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 it has been strangely quiet with my STBXW. I thought that she would be blowing up my phone. BDT, stop posting in this thread..She probably is feeding information off this thread 1
road Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 You are wrong to be having a relationship because you are still married.
Author Bigdaddyt Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 BDT, stop posting in this thread..She probably is feeding information off this thread I was stupid to post about Allison; my STBXW showed up at my work last night in full werebitc- mode and cussed me like a sailor she called me some names in Italian that I had to look up. She called me a cheating male whore and half a dago ( I am half Italian and half Native American). She told me that she would not divorce me and drag the proceedings out forever. She called all of our friends and family to expose my relationship with Allison. Fun times, I am flying out tonight and I asked Allison to go with me just to get out of Dodge until the nuclear fallout clears. I guess she is no longer sad!
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