Mjm1014 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Please read before you post. I do think family time is important but.... We've been dating for 4 months, and the first month or two we started dating (before I met her family), we would constantly go on dates, do things as a couple, but then two months into the relationship that all stopped. Now, she just invites me over for family dinners, or to hang with her parents (she's 23 still lives at home, I'm 27)..my work keeps me away from home about 16-18 days a month and we hang almost every day I'm home, but only average about 1-3 days per month away from her family. They always include me in things and are great to me, but it's turning our relationship into a dull one to say the least. If I ever try to set plans with her she either says, "let me see what my parents are doing first"-then invites me, or breaks plans last minute and says her parents want to do something then invites me with them to tag along. Another thing that bugs me, she never seems interested getting to know my family, or getting to know me further. She never asks about my day, or seems genuinely interested, doesn't like talking on the phone besides an occasional text so it's making me wonder if she's just staying with me until something better comes along? I've talked to her about this in the past and she admitted she wasn't treating me right and she made an effort for a few weeks to change, but we are in the same situation again. I just wish she valued her time with me a little more...she tells me she loves me, and she always wants me around her family which is great, but I'm starting to get confused. At 27, this is not my definition of a relationship...opinions:/
mrldii Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 ...At 27, this is not my definition of a relationship...opinions:/ Ummmm...at any age (or any age difference) and especially with the fact that you've told her about it and she tried to - and did - make a change for a couple of weeks, only to revert back to it something IS odd, there...and not the definition of ANY type of healthy relationship. Regardless of anything else, you two are obviously not on the same page. 'Next' her. Perhaps she'll meet a socially-awkward, Mommy's-basement-dwelling unemployed gamer who'll enjoy the change of scenery AND the fact that he doesn't have to spend any money to 'date' her. Best of luck to you, OP... 1
CollegeKid101 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 This is very strange to say the least. OP, I would seriously sit her down and explain to her that this is odd and while you enjoy her family and truly appreciate the fact that they want to include you in their activities, you two are in a relationship and not you and her family. She does not need to check what her parents are doing first if you want to make plans, she's a grown women. I would pack up shop, cut the cord, and move onto somebody more mature and ready for a real relationship. 1
yxalitis Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 You are either: The Bad Boy she's using to punish her parents? Proof that she is attractive and independent "see mum, I have a BF, now leave me alone!"
Jacob_Duluoz Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Make a move or walk away. Do you really like this girl? She could also just be testing your commitment level. 23 and 27 is a gap. *coughs*
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 I remember your previous posts about this, OP. If you've already spoken to her about this and no long-term change has happened, I'm afraid it's time to jump ship. She isn't ready for an adult relationship.
Gaeta Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 With your posting history I'd say your relationship has run its course and it's now past expiration date. You've only been dating a few months and the spark and connection are gone. It's time to move on. Your gf sounds very immature, it feels like she is just happy having someone to call a boyfriend but is not interested in an actual relationship with a bf.
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