I really don't want to go out of town with my friend this weekend, but i already agre

[MiaMckenz]

My friend (girl), her cousin (a guy whose also my close friend), and her fiance are all going to NY this weekend for a festival. I went last year. I agreed to go, but i truly don't feel like going at all. I'm so nonchalant on going, but i feel like i'm being a bad friend, and i'm really not a bad friend at all. She really wants me to go. I haven't told her that i don't really want to go yet because i don't know how to tell her and i feel like i'm being a bad friend if i do. I feel even worst telling her that i don't wanna go because i was unable to attend or just didn't feel like going anywhere the past 3 times she's invited me somewhere. Also, I really don't want to spend alot of money this weekend. I feel like if I go then i'm just going because she really wants me to go, but because i want to go. Thoughts?

[acapelo_dp]

I would just say that you thought about it and that you really can't afford to go right now, but you would love to catch up when she gets back.

[nouedis]

Honestly, if I were you, I'd straight up say something.

Why bother holding your tongue on something you don't want to do?

You're not being a bad friend at all if you don't say something. You're being a bad friend if you don't say something and dislike the entire time you're there with them. It'll be evident that you don't want to be there once it gets to you.

[anika99]

When did you tell her that you would go away with her this weekend? It's Friday now so the time to speak up about this was probably before today.

 

 

I guess there's 2 ways of looking at this. The prior posters seem to think it's okay to back out of commitments at the last moment if one just doesn't feel like honoring their word. I personally think that if you agreed to go and have waited until the last second to speak up that backing out now does make you kind of a crappy friend. If I made plans to go out of town with somebody days or weeks in advance and they waited until the Friday of the same weekend that we were to go away to tell me that they changed their mind and now they're not going I would be so pissed!

 

 

I say you go to the festival, you behave amicably and don't give off any negative vibes or attitude to your friends, because it's not their fault you agreed to do something you didn't want to do, so suck it up and be pleasant. Then in the future don't agree to do things you don't want to do and then wait until the last minute to back out of your commitment for no other reason but "I don't feel like it".

[d0nnivain]

If you backing out costs her money (increases her hotel costs or something) while you can still back out, you probably still need to pay your share since she can't replace you & she was counting on you.

 

 

If it's not a financial strain on her, bail if you feel like it but do something with her soon so she doesn't think you don't care about the friendship.