Hippymonk Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I'm devastated.... My partner broke up with me after 15 years and i have no idea why. We very rarely argued and i thought i would spend the rest of my life with her. I came back from work on Monday evening to find the house in a right state and her and my children's things gone. I tried calling her but all i got was a text message telling me she was sorry but she had left as she couldn't be with me anymore. We have 2 children together 1 of whom came back to me last night and my eldest is coming back on Monday as all their friends and school are here. She will not talk to me at all,i have no idea what i have done so i can't even begin to think how i can fix this or indeed move on. I haven't slept or eaten since Monday and i can't stop crying and i haven't cried since i was a child. she has changed her phone number which she won't even give to my sons as she doesn't want them to give it to me but what happens if i need to get hold of her in an emergency?. I will admit i am far from perfect and did take her for granted,only half listening to her when she was telling me something or not taking her out as often as i should of but the way she is acting it is as if she hates me. My youngest keeps asking me to get back together with her.....which is what i want to do more than anything.....but how can i fix this if she will not even give me the time of day? I am so lost without her,she was/still is my entire world and i love her with every bone in my body. I feel so low i wish i could go to sleep and never wake up!!!!!!
Jaggerz Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I feel your pain as I'm in a similar situation, except my relationship was 7y and no kids. I can only tell you how terribly sorry I am and that you are NOT alone. Do not blame yourself. You say you took her for granted, but after so many years I guess you get comfortable and forget to show that love you have for her. You are in a bad place now emotionally. And you won't start feeling better until you face the facts... You need to realise she will not be back. Take a day off and tell your story as much as you can. Do not try to contact at all. Please read through my topic. I hope it will help you. I still have a long way to go, but I'm telling you what everyone is telling me.
Deleted User Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 Right there with you guys... Wednesday of last week, my partner of 12yrs decided to leave me. I wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but the pain it brings is severe and atrocious Please know that, indeed, you are NOT alone being hurt and not understanding exactly what happened as we seem to lose all sense of reality when something like this happens
Author Hippymonk Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 Thanks Jaggerz and TopperCNC i know you are right....but it's so hard...i feel so worthless right now and wish my life was over. I loved her from the very first moment i saw her. I'm not contemplating killing myself but as i said i just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I am a mans man...you know...never show emotions and be the alpha male that everybody expects me to be but this has me beat...I no longer see any point. I feel so weak and vulnerable. She is acting as if she hates me....she won't talk to me but is ok for the kids to live with me.It's as if she wants to walk away from everything
Deleted User Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Thanks Jaggerz and TopperCNC i know you are right....but it's so hard...i feel so worthless right now and wish my life was over. I loved her from the very first moment i saw her. I'm not contemplating killing myself but as i said i just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I am a mans man...you know...never show emotions and be the alpha male that everybody expects me to be but this has me beat...I no longer see any point. I feel so weak and vulnerable. She is acting as if she hates me....she won't talk to me but is ok for the kids to live with me.It's as if she wants to walk away from everything Hippy, you and I have a lot in common. We both feel worthless, wish our lives were over and are mens men. You said it exactly as it should: we can't see the point anymore and it has us beat. Everyone around me said "time heals", as they happily go back home to their families after work... Well, duh, no. It hurts more now than on day 1. Let's hang in there while we can. Maybe we'll see the light, maybe we won't, but at least we won't be alone wishing for that light to come...
lolablue17 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 You need to think clearly, trying to navigate in a foggy situation. 1. The children issue! - It seems that the way she acts hurt your children. You must collect evidence as much as you can. She has no right to take them from the house without your permission, nor their toys and linen. Take pictures and videos with dates. Bring people to see it (they will be your witnesses if needed in the future). Have your trying to communicate with her, be documented as far as you can. She is free to go, but the children must stay AT THEIR HOME! If not, it is called child abuse, kidnaping, tell her that you're going to the police if she doesn't obey the law. 2. Sudden movements can be explained with the presence of another man. (unless you were hitting her or she felt threatened). She has someone else, i 95% sure. It means she was cheating on you. So stop blaming yourself and think that it's ALL your fault. But first, make sure that your children get the stability they need.
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