Author dandyrandy Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 I went through this twice with the same person. She really hated being with him - true - but ended back with him TWICE Call me a moron There's no rational explanation why she did this. I gave up trying to figure it out and closed the door. Every year or so they'll break up for a month or two & she reaches out to me - still! Lol. I ignore now. Your friend's dislike of the relationship with him may be real but that doesn't mean she will leave him It may not be rational. Give her one chance - say you'll see her when she's single. Then close the door. Trust me :-) Thanks for the info. Was your women going through an abusive relationship too? I dont know why women do this either. I do know what she is going through because I went through the same kind of abusive relationship. You always come up with excuses! One after another that the person is going to get better or I can fix this. He/she will make more money. He/she loves me and will stop beating me and verbally abusing me. Excuse after excuse... The person usually stays in the relationship due to finances, kids, living with the person, criminal ties, mental issues, manipulation and or blackmail, drug abuse and or alcohol abuse, or a big combination of those things. Once the person does leave there loved one they go through mental hardship because they are not with that person no more. I know because I went through all of this! 9 out of 10 women and men lack the mental fortitude or what I call BALLS to stay away from this destructive loved one. They always come crawling and withering back!! Its so sad but its reality. I am glad I was the 1%.. Its easy for the people to say well I would never go through all of that not in a million years but those people usually have NEVER gone through the experience of an abusive relationship. Most people never realize how weak of a person they are until they go through the gauntlet of hell.
Author dandyrandy Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 Also on a personal note when I was with my ex wife she constantly put the cause of all her problems on me! She also had mental issues just like the guy in question in my blog but she never had it diagnosed. Mental people seem to know they are crazy but do not like to be reminded that they are crazy. She tried hard to keep her mental issues at bay but it got the best of her at year 4 of our marriage. She let all her demons out! It was very hard for me to leave her and caused much pain in the both of us but it was me that did it. It seems the person causing most of the abuse and manipulation will NEVER leave the other person. I think this is a cause of a lot of the issues. Instead of the mental person concentrating on making themselves better and being positive they concentrate all negative energy on there partner. Thats where the abuse comes from and they wont stop!!
mystikmind2005 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Sorry but being mr. wonderful (which he already has been) to this girl=doormat Not quite the type of Mr wonderful I'm talking about I mean that type of Mr wonderful that thousands of average guys are shocked to find their asses dumped for. In most cases this type of guy in reality is a 'player' and knows how to out manipulate such a guy that the OP describes. It is not really a nice type of guy, but the point is, this type of guy can convince women for anything, even leaving a perfectly good husband and kids, i have seen it many times, i don't even understand how this type of guy does it, i only know it seems to work?
Author dandyrandy Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 Not quite the type of Mr wonderful I'm talking about I mean that type of Mr wonderful that thousands of average guys are shocked to find their asses dumped for. In most cases this type of guy in reality is a 'player' and knows how to out manipulate such a guy that the OP describes. It is not really a nice type of guy, but the point is, this type of guy can convince women for anything, even leaving a perfectly good husband and kids, i have seen it many times, i don't even understand how this type of guy does it, i only know it seems to work? Yeah they exist thats for sure. I would know.. How do I know this?? Because I have been this guy and its not a knight in shining armor but a player. This type of guy does the exact opposite that the usual schmuck average guy does. Its dangerous being this guy too because average guy usual goes crazy and starts stalking me. I did one HUGE mistake though that Mr Wonderful player does not EVER do! Its totally against the players rule book. And that is I fell in LOVE with her.. Also another thing I am not allowed to do in the players hand book is to never break up a good couple especially if they have children. Something I will never do.. But will I break up this ass clowns abusive relationship?? You bet your momma I will!
Author dandyrandy Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 I have to add some more info about her in this thread. She is a beautiful women. I am not just saying that because I am in love with a women. She is truly hot in every way possible! Most beautiful women just like beautiful men are players in some way. They manipulate because they can. I have honestly done it and you know who you are! You have done it too so I am not hearing that bull crap that I am Mother Teresa and such a saint to my boy or girl friend. Beautiful people know they are hot and can have any loser girl or guy eating out of there hand. She is no exception to this. She knows she is hot and her loser boyfriend no matter what he demands she is always going to get her way. I think this is one reason she is also still with him. Perfect example of this is that he gave her an ultimatum and demanded she leaves me or she leaves him. She turned it around on him and got everything she wanted! She gets to see me and stay with him. This guy is a truly a loser for not backing up his ultimatum and has no balls! She knows this and manipulates him just as much as he manipulates her into staying with the guy when she is fed up and disgusted with him. This is a very hard one to win for me.. The only solution to this is LOVE. Love will always triumph over lust, infidelity, abuse, or anything for that matter. Love will always prevail over any and all evils!! The only thing I can do is give her love and if she loves me more than her boyfriend WHICH SHE HAS ALREADY SAID TO HIM THAT SHE DOES. I will win the day! Also I most get between the couple as much as possible. She is blinded from reality the more she is with him. I think some of you are right about telling her that I need to give her an ultimatum of my own but I still think the timing needs to be right.
Author dandyrandy Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 Also do you guys think I should let her know that I am dating other women?? Do you think that would work to my advantage??
mystikmind2005 Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I have to add some more info about her in this thread. She is a beautiful women. I am not just saying that because I am in love with a women. She is truly hot in every way possible! Most beautiful women just like beautiful men are players in some way. They manipulate because they can. I have honestly done it and you know who you are! You have done it too so I am not hearing that bull crap that I am Mother Teresa and such a saint to my boy or girl friend. Beautiful people know they are hot and can have any loser girl or guy eating out of there hand. She is no exception to this. She knows she is hot and her loser boyfriend no matter what he demands she is always going to get her way. I think this is one reason she is also still with him. Perfect example of this is that he gave her an ultimatum and demanded she leaves me or she leaves him. She turned it around on him and got everything she wanted! She gets to see me and stay with him. This guy is a truly a loser for not backing up his ultimatum and has no balls! She knows this and manipulates him just as much as he manipulates her into staying with the guy when she is fed up and disgusted with him. This is a very hard one to win for me.. The only solution to this is LOVE. Love will always triumph over lust, infidelity, abuse, or anything for that matter. Love will always prevail over any and all evils!! The only thing I can do is give her love and if she loves me more than her boyfriend WHICH SHE HAS ALREADY SAID TO HIM THAT SHE DOES. I will win the day! Also I most get between the couple as much as possible. She is blinded from reality the more she is with him. I think some of you are right about telling her that I need to give her an ultimatum of my own but I still think the timing needs to be right. I would agree with your take on beautiful people. And the ones that like to believe they are not like that - well guess what, it always comes out when the going gets tough. Sadly i do not agree with your take on love, well it should work like that but no. You know the old saying 'if you love someone, set them free', It is a line we have all heard many times and there are all kinds of interpretations. well, i have been on this planet for 43 years now and the more i come to understand what that really means the more i understand how far away i am from really truly understanding it. Just imagine it as a real pure feeling, not twisted by self pitty or selfishness or pride? Last year my ex announced our divorce, and perhaps one day i will experience this feeling, that is my dream
Author dandyrandy Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 I would agree with your take on beautiful people. And the ones that like to believe they are not like that - well guess what, it always comes out when the going gets tough. Sadly i do not agree with your take on love, well it should work like that but no. You know the old saying 'if you love someone, set them free', It is a line we have all heard many times and there are all kinds of interpretations. well, i have been on this planet for 43 years now and the more i come to understand what that really means the more i understand how far away i am from really truly understanding it. Just imagine it as a real pure feeling, not twisted by self pitty or selfishness or pride? Last year my ex announced our divorce, and perhaps one day i will experience this feeling, that is my dream Well I just have to feel it out and use my gut instinct on this. I am not blinded by love and I can tell if things are worth pursuing or not. Love is the most powerful. More powerful than bullets and bombs!
CarrieT Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I am not blinded by love and I can tell if things are worth pursuing or not. Love is the most powerful. More powerful than bullets and bombs! All evidence to the contrary, I'm afraid... 1
CarrieT Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 (edited) What does that even mean? It means that you have contradicted yourself in your statement when you said you were not blinded by love, but then went on to state that love is more powerful than bombs or bullets. It seems obvious to anyone reading your posts that you only want to read posts that coincide with your world view and none that might contradict what you believe. Edited August 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
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