elgringo Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I dated a woman from work for about 8 months. We had great sexual chemistry and she is the hottest woman I have ever dated. Our relationship was on again, off again. We both had issues that were not resolved when we were dating. She dumped me back in December. Fortunately she got a job somewhere else and have not seen her since. I have since started dating casually and seeing other people, but nothing serious. I have worked on my issues that were a problem before. I work at a school and my ex was dropping her son off for his first day of kindergarten. I wasn't prepared to see her. I don't think she was either. She walked right past me like I wasn't even there. It was pretty stressful and awkward. I need some type of plan to deal with running into her because I know that it will happen again. I thought about reaching out to her in an email to try to break the tension but I don't know. I know deep inside that we are not really compatible. We dont have much in common. But I still have this crazy strong attraction to her that I can't deny. Not sure what to do. And I guess it brought up old feelings and made me wish we could have worked things out.
Downtown Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I think that [bPD] is also known as Hot Mess Syndrome. (HMS) [Your Feb 5 post, responding to Lil Hoodlum] No, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is much more serious. If you're interested in finding out what red flags Lil Hoodlum saw in your exGF's behavior, I suggest you take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most of those signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read the more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues. Only a professional can do that. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD might help you avoid a painful experience -- i.e., perhaps avoid taking her back and avoid running into the arms of another woman just like the one you left. Take care, ElGringo.
aloneinaz Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I dated a woman from work for about 8 months. We had great sexual chemistry and she is the hottest woman I have ever dated. Our relationship was on again, off again. We both had issues that were not resolved when we were dating. She dumped me back in December. Fortunately she got a job somewhere else and have not seen her since. I have since started dating casually and seeing other people, but nothing serious. I have worked on my issues that were a problem before. I work at a school and my ex was dropping her son off for his first day of kindergarten. I wasn't prepared to see her. I don't think she was either. She walked right past me like I wasn't even there. It was pretty stressful and awkward. I need some type of plan to deal with running into her because I know that it will happen again. I thought about reaching out to her in an email to try to break the tension but I don't know. I know deep inside that we are not really compatible. We dont have much in common. But I still have this crazy strong attraction to her that I can't deny. Not sure what to do. And I guess it brought up old feelings and made me wish we could have worked things out. Listen, If she has the emotional issues you described, hot/cold or push/pull, she isn't going to change. Having dated a BPD woman and feeling lucky I survived it without TOO much damage, you need to not contact her. There's no value in contacting her to avoid "stressful" run ins. It will only bring back all the drama and chaos (if she even replied). So what if you run into her on occasion. You know she'll ignore you and you'll be fine. 1
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