fitnessfan365 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'd agree that extended consistent hand holding is too strong on a first date. After all, you're not a couple. But if I'm enjoying a woman's company on a first date, I like to do hand holding very briefly to break the touch barrier. Like if we're walking/chatting and about to cross the street. I'll take her hand so we'll cross together and then let go on the other side. Or let's say that we're sitting. I'll stand first, and then extend my hand for her to take as she stands and maintain it for a few seconds as we start walking. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'd agree that extended consistent hand holding is too strong on a first date. After all, you're not a couple. But if I'm enjoying a woman's company on a first date, I like to do hand holding very briefly to break the touch barrier. Like if we're walking/chatting and about to cross the street. I'll take her hand so we'll cross together and then let go on the other side. Or let's say that we're sitting. I'll stand first, and then extend my hand for her to take as she stands and maintain it for a few seconds as we start walking. I agree with that, there are certain ways to do it naturally without awkwardness, there is timing and it sounds like it was off in OPs date. I wouldn't care how hot the guy is, I feel awkward sitting there holding a strangers hand the whole time. If that makes me some kind of freak to be concerned about, so be it. And the guy is just more comfortable with physical contact i guess. Not so much at reading cues. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I wasn't offended, just a bit worried about you that you may be putting yourself in vulnerable positions because you are too naive to realize the dangers. I'm not saying you are naive but that your post read as though you may be. Anyway, at this juncture it seems to me you & this guy are on different pages & he doesn't have too many clues. If you were that off put by hand holding & repeatedly rebuffed his efforts, it amazes me that he asked for a 2nd date. The ball is clearly in your court, but I caution against leading him on. If you can't see yourself moving this relationship forward however you define progress, decline a 2nd date. I'm more concerned about him rushing things and putting the pressure on. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'd agree that extended consistent hand holding is too strong on a first date. After all, you're not a couple. But if I'm enjoying a woman's company on a first date, I like to do hand holding very briefly to break the touch barrier. Like if we're walking/chatting and about to cross the street. I'll take her hand so we'll cross together and then let go on the other side. Or let's say that we're sitting. I'll stand first, and then extend my hand for her to take as she stands and maintain it for a few seconds as we start walking. This. Or gently lead her to a table with a hand on the shoulder. Touch her shoulder as you whisper something to her about the couple next to you or whatever. There are a million ways to make it be natural and not awkward. You gauge the reaction to that to decide on the next steps if any. Was she comfortable with you touching her? If not, you hold off on further contact until later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HansonGirl Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 I.....a bit worried about you that you may be putting yourself in vulnerable positions because you are too naive to realize the dangers. I'm not saying you are naive but that your post read as though you may be. can you explain what vulnerable positions you are talking about? what do you mean? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'd agree that extended consistent hand holding is too strong on a first date. After all, you're not a couple. But if I'm enjoying a woman's company on a first date, I like to do hand holding very briefly to break the touch barrier. Like if we're walking/chatting and about to cross the street. I'll take her hand so we'll cross together and then let go on the other side. Or let's say that we're sitting. I'll stand first, and then extend my hand for her to take as she stands and maintain it for a few seconds as we start walking. Awww...that's actually quite sweet ff. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Awww...that's actually quite sweet ff. 80% spice and 20% sweet can't be beat. The first kiss w-my GF was very hot. I commented on how much I liked her confidence and that she wasn't freaked out that I was a trainer because a lot of women won't shut up about how nervous it made them coming in. She says "Of course I'm confident, look at me". I took her by the hand to stop her walking and said "Trust me I have been" and then pulled her in by the hand to kiss her. Speaks galore. After we stopped she said "Looks like we have something in common mister". But the only thing better than that was the kiss at the end of the night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HansonGirl Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 80% spice and 20% sweet can't be beat. The first kiss w-my GF was very hot. I commented on how much I liked her confidence and that she wasn't freaked out that I was a trainer because a lot of women won't shut up about how nervous it made them coming in. She says "Of course I'm confident, look at me". I took her by the hand to stop her walking and said "Trust me I have been" and then pulled her in by the hand to kiss her. Speaks galore. After we stopped she said "Looks like we have something in common mister". But the only thing better than that was the kiss at the end of the night. see i have to say for me, i think i just take longer to even get that attracted to ANYbody. Every guy i've ever liked was a gradual thing. That's why i think for me i just couldn't really enjoy what you're describing because I would feel too weird. UNLESS i was tipsy Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I'd agree that extended consistent hand holding is too strong on a first date. After all, you're not a couple. But if I'm enjoying a woman's company on a first date, I like to do hand holding very briefly to break the touch barrier. Like if we're walking/chatting and about to cross the street. I'll take her hand so we'll cross together and then let go on the other side. Or let's say that we're sitting. I'll stand first, and then extend my hand for her to take as she stands and maintain it for a few seconds as we start walking. This is great advice for guys who seem to get stuck in the friend zone or fail to get second dates. It shows your interest without saying so explicitly or getting creepy. If she likes you she will appreciate it. I do agree that holding hands for long periods with a stranger would be odd. But i dont think thats what the op was describing. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Yeah because you were not attracted to him you found it creepy. If you were attracted, you would be saying what a nice gentleman he was. Not true. I would not be holding hands with ANYONE on a first date. I don't care if he's the most attractive man in the world, I would NOT hold his hand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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