katiegrl Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 What plans did he tell you he has for the date tomorrow? Where is he taking you? I'm a bit confused now too. Bobbi, do you have a definitive date set for tomorrow night, or not? Or are you waiting for him "to get back to you"? Please clarify .....thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 In the past, we always saw each other on Friday. Not sure. Like others have said, I may be overthinking it. But why would he say, "I'll get back to you" even if we saw each other on Friday anyway??? Unless he may have another date lined up...and is waiting to keep his option open, but then again why would he say that and initiate contact and suggest to meet up the following week anyway if he wasn't interested? Very Odd. Yes, we'll be seeing each other on Friday. girl... you were seeing eachother every Friday. You are seeing him this Friday if you have a place and an hour confirmed by him. I'm sorry, he seems a gonner... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'm a bit confused now too. Bobbi, do you have a definitive date set for tomorrow night, or not? Or are you waiting for him "to get back to you"? Please clarify .....thanks. Yes, we have a date set up for tomorrow. I'm just dwelling on what he said, it bothers me. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Yes, we have a date set up for tomorrow. I'm just dwelling on what he said, it bothers me. Do try to have a good time and enjoy it. Do bring it up in a light manner. Don't hold a grudge. Don't make a scene. Don't make a tragedy out of it. Do be nice to him. Do ask questions. Do let him speak. Do listen. Do try to be relaxed and have a general open attitude. If it bothers you, it's coward to shut up about it, because he'll feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) Before answering if it's good or bad you have to look at the big picture not only that sentence. Here is what l see from where l sit. A) he contacts you once a week, offers to get back to you on uncertain plans. B) you end up chasing him down when he delays getting back to you To me it's sounds like you are a weekly booty call. For 5 dates he only had Fridays available to you. If you miss a Friday then you got to wait following Friday. That's not the actions of an interested man. You're the Friday night girl. What do you do on those dates? Does he take you out? Edited August 20, 2015 by Gaeta 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I have a history of dating men who leave me guessing their intentions. In person they're hot, between dates they're random and sporadic in contact... I find myself on edge and wondering. And those situations always end the same way - they're not available to me as anything serious (for whatever reason, it doesn't really matter). I recently dated a guy who introduced me to how it feels when you are dating someone who is clearly interested. He stayed in regular contact, planned future dates, made time for me on Saturday nights and never left me in doubt as to what he felt. After 6 dates he wanted to ramp things up to seeing each other more often and becoming exclusive. Unfortunately we were too incompatible on a few key issues, but now I know what it feels like to date someone who is fully interested and emotionally available, I realise what was missing in those other relationships. Trust your gut. Don't be his last minute plan. If he were fully interested, you would know! Either put him on the back burner until he steps it up or end it and make yourself available to guys who are worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
TweetyGirl Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 You really are overthinking it. It's obvious he has an interest in seeing you. He probably didn't set a date because he needs to figure out when he's going to be free. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 You really are overthinking it. It's obvious he has an interest in seeing you. He probably didn't set a date because he needs to figure out when he's going to be free. Oh yes he has an 'interest'. Men have all types of interests. * Romantic interest * Casual interest * Sex interest * 'fill the void' interest * 'back burner' interest and the list goes on. After 5 dates, when a man calls you ONCE a week. Doesn't set up dates but just makes allusions to a date. When you have to chase him down to book that date. When the only time he has for you is Friday night, no other evenings, no other afternoon, not even Sunday morning brunch...you have to ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 where is his interest? If your interest it 9 and his is 4, I think it's time to make what I call 'an executive decision'. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I luv making "executive decisions", personally . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Bobbi, if your Friday nights are you at his place or his at yours. Having sex and nothing till the next Friday, you are a sex partner and no more. If this is ok with you then it's ok. If you want more, then stop seeing him and do not have sex with a guy until you have established a relationship with him first. Actually, until you are feeling confident and sure that you do not need a man for anything other than friendship, don't have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 So, my date last Friday went well, he tells me that I'm "amazing" and "gorgeous." I have a dinner date with him this Friday, anyway, he hasn't taken a picture of us..aka "selfie." I know he takes photos on his phone, with his friends, random photos, etc, etc. I would like for him to do so, because if he did that first, then I could take a photo of us on my phone and show people that I'm seeing someone...what do you think? When is taking photos of each other appropriate??? Only when its official or something? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 sounds positive to me maybe a confirmation of your date before friday.....i often say ill get back to you...normally for me it is too confirm the time and place of the date........to make sure everything is alright for the date to go ahead from both sides......mine and his......i wouldnt as other posters have suggested you are, overthink it, if a guy is or is not flaky .....it will show up soon enough with actually no response at all..or turning up and regular responses showing defined interest in you.. that will or wont happen without you worrying about it...hope you enjoy your date...sounds all good to me....best wishes....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 So, my date last Friday went well, he tells me that I'm "amazing" and "gorgeous." I have a dinner date with him this Friday, anyway, he hasn't taken a picture of us..aka "selfie." I know he takes photos on his phone, with his friends, random photos, etc, etc. I would like for him to do so, because if he did that first, then I could take a photo of us on my phone and show people that I'm seeing someone...what do you think? When is taking photos of each other appropriate??? Only when its official or something? Bobbi how old are you?? Forget about a selfie of you. Are you interested in HIM or you're just interested in your next FB feed? This is too soon to be taking selfies and too soon to call it 'seeing someone'. When he ask you to date him exclusively THEN you can tell people you are seeing someone and take all the selfies you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 Bobbi how old are you?? Forget about a selfie of you. Are you interested in HIM or you're just interested in your next FB feed? This is too soon to be taking selfies and too soon to call it 'seeing someone'. When he ask you to date him exclusively THEN you can tell people you are seeing someone and take all the selfies you wish. I'm in my 30's. I'm new to so-called dating. Well, I'm interested in him, but of course I want to show people that I'm seeing someone, while everyone else has someone..maybe its too soon for pictures...but then I think how much he tells me I'm "attractive", why wouldn't he take a picture of me? Kind of reminds me of an instagram picture that I saw, this hot blonde girl whose a vip bottle service girl posted a picture of her and this guy-a random stranger-someone that she's never met before and he wanted to take a picture with her-probably because she's really hot. So...I'm just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 Where did he take you last week? And where is he taking you this week? The picture is immature and insignificant at this early stage. Last week, we went to an arcade place, played games, had some drinks. This week he is cooking and we're having dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
ChicagoSparty Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I've said 'I'll get back with you' when I'm still waiting to see how things shake out with other girls. Not saying that's what he's doing, but I don't know that I would rule it out either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I'm in my 30's. I'm new to so-called dating. Well, I'm interested in him, but of course I want to show people that I'm seeing someone, while everyone else has someone..maybe its too soon for pictures...but then I think how much he tells me I'm "attractive", why wouldn't he take a picture of me? Kind of reminds me of an instagram picture that I saw, this hot blonde girl whose a vip bottle service girl posted a picture of her and this guy-a random stranger-someone that she's never met before and he wanted to take a picture with her-probably because she's really hot. So...I'm just wondering. Honey listen to me. HE tells EVERY WOMEN he dates that they are beautiful and attractive. You are not special to a man because he tells you you are beautiful. Men do that all the time with every woman. You're thinking like a teenage girl. m.Forget about FB or instagram. There is a difference between putting up a picture of you and a stranger you'll never see again and a picture of a man you're barely starting to see. If you post a picture of you 2 he'll feel it's TOO MUCH too soon and he'll bail. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 He doesn't take pictures because you're his Friday girl. Saturday and Wednesday girl might see them. Stop analysing everything. Seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 He doesn't take pictures because you're his Friday girl. Saturday and Wednesday girl might see them. Stop analysing everything. Seriously. On the contrary. I think she should be analyzing this. If she looks at this man's actions she IS his Friday girl and is probably wasting her time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 On the contrary. I think she should be analyzing this. If she looks at this man's actions she IS his Friday girl and is probably wasting her time. Yes perhaps I should've continued the sentence. Stop analysing and see the truth ( is what I meant ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 I don't think I'm completely his Friday girl. There were times when we did hang out on Sunday and when he wanted me to go hang with his friends on Saturday. And we didn't have sex last week, since my visitor came, but he still wanted to hang out. Anyway, I'm probably analyzing everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I don't think I'm completely his Friday girl. There were times when we did hang out on Sunday and when he wanted me to go hang with his friends on Saturday. And we didn't have sex last week, since my visitor came, but he still wanted to hang out. Anyway, I'm probably analyzing everything. omg, bobbi are you for real??? I swear some of the stuff you say is so off the wall. You don't speak and act like a 30 year old. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 So, this has been my 4th or 5th date with this guy, I've taken some advice from people on here about seeing how it plays out and not asking what he wants, not being pushy about it. Last week he texted me and told me that he was busy and that he was hoping to hang out this week, I told him that it was fine, and that he will "get back to me" on what day. I was like wth? Anyone find that odd that he wouldn't set a certain day of the week? Usually Fridays, are the days that we see each other...Then I thought to myself that he might be keeping his week open to set aside dates with another chick? I mean, surely he had no problem setting a day when he first starting talking and had our first/second meeting, but now he tells me he'll get back to me? Plus, I texted him Monday and so far we are meeting up on Friday, anyway, so what gives his response on "getting back to me?" If he gets back to you, it's good. If not, it's still good. Why do all the mental gymnastics over a guy you've only been out with 5 times? Link to post Share on other sites
Strahatmak Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 If he gets back to you, it's good. If not, it's still good. Why do all the mental gymnastics over a guy you've only been out with 5 times? Because it's her first ever relationship? Sounds desparate. And unfortunatly she's not meeting a more sincere guy for her first dating. I cannot follow all the threads and posts OP created... Simply too many. And most of the posts OP is assuming too many things that makes the guy could be a player. I believe it's fine to set some expectations to see if a guy is truly making effort for you, but you are just making things way too easy and asking wrong questions - overthink, over analyze on insignificant things, and that makes you immature. If I were the guy, I would either be freak out or taken you as grant. The picture thing, seriously, shows nothing complicated but simply because you two are not exclusive to each other. That leads to one question: is this man making you happy and answering your desire that you want to be exclusive with him? It could be his problem or your problem. If you decide not to change yourself to see if things will change, then you'd better leave because you cannot change him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 omg, bobbi are you for real??? I swear some of the stuff you say is so off the wall. You don't speak and act like a 30 year old. Like I said, I'm new to dating, and have very little experience with guys. I didn't start dating until I was in my late 20's and early 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
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