How is this girl going to survive in the world on her own?

[TweetyGirl]

There's this girl I sort of dated for a while and we are still really good friends. She's an amazing girl with a good heart but it wasn't working out romantically. While we dated and even now I've noticed some things about her that concern me. Right now she's 26 and still lives with her mom. This girl isn't very smart about the real world and lacks a good amount of life skills it takes to get by in life. She was fired from her first and only job because she wasn't learning fast enough, she doesn't know how to pay bills, she almost lost her money she made at her old job by trying to send it to a closed bank account (she didn't know it was closed), she has trouble making appointments for herself, etc. People have tried to teach her how to do these things but she gets confused easily and tends to screw up. She always needs another adult to help her. I don't know if it's because she was just sheltered too much or if she really has something mentally wrong with her. She's also way too optimistic and oblivious and spends most of her time playing video games and sketching. How do you help an adult like this who has the mind of a child and doesn't seem to comprehend reality?

[La.Primavera]

As long as she lives with her mother then she has someone to look out for her so hopefully that can ease your mind a bit.

[ExpatInItaly]

You can't do very much if she's still living at home. I gather her mom does most of these things for her? The most you can do is help out when you see the opportunity. For example, if she mentions she needs a haircut or something, show her how to find the hairdresser's number and have her call. Only do so if you're patient; it sounds to me like she's not emotionally mature. It could be that she was very sheltered, or there could be some developmental issues. Hard to say.

[Toodaloo]

I know loads of people with learning disabilities and they do just fine.

 

I am sure your girl will be perfectly alright.

 

As long as she is happy don't worry about it. Some people live very differently to others and are just fine just the way they are.

[candie13]

it's her problem, not yours. I am sorry, I cannot be around these people.

 

the only thing I can say to you is: let her be. She has her mother to care for her. She needs to want to fend for herself. While learning disabilities are a drag, there's no excuse for not being able to set up an appointment.

 

I may see the devil everywhere, but to me, it looks like an extreme case of passive aggressiveness where she is actually making the other people do stuff for her, because "she can't". Hell, yeah she can. And if she can't... well.. too bad for her. When her mother is dead, she will have to. Such is life, it sucks big time.

 

What's in it for you? Why spend your time around such a social nutcase?

[Gaeta]

I remember this exact same question but under another name and you were dating her at the time.

 

Back then my advice was, and still is, she needs a psychological evaluation. There are several conditions in which people have learning difficulties, or won't mentally grow beyond age 12-14. They are functional adults but lack adult judgment and reasoning. She may also have a form of autism or Asperger.

 

The problem here is that her mother is sheltering her instead of giving her all the tools she would need to grow beyond current state.

 

She made it to 26 without you, life will go on for her don't worry.