truncated Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 A post in one of the threads on here has put a question into my mind. For a long time now, women ( and a lot of men too) have worked to give a woman the right, ability and confidence in herself to say "no" to a relationship she thinks would be bad for her. Most men respect that, and if they don't, they are likely best avoided anyway. Why then do some women use the " he perused me until I felt I had no choice but to become involved with him" as a reason for getting into bad relationships? If a man said something like that, I expect he might get a few snickers. Women have the power to say "no". Why do some choose to give it away?
eye of the storm Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 The same reason many girls think they have to hide how smart they are and change their bodies. I frequently think about the Twilight Zone episode where everyone gets plastic surgery to be beautiful instead of loving who they are, inside and out. If someone isn't aware of their personal power, either because they feel it has been stripped from them or they have never felt it, they will not use it. To often people are more concerned with others feelings and negate their own. It frequently results in being in relationships that are unhealthy.
angel.eyes Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 It's an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for your own poor decisions. The problem with playing victim is you generally don't learn to choose differently...it was someone else's fault...so you continue to make bad choices and suffer through the consequences. It's not just women who do this. Ask some guy why he dated someone who had crazy stamped in neon all over her. I've also seen guys use the same tactic when they make poor decisions at work that are career limiting in some way--It's the mean boss' fault, a jealous co-worker ratted him out, people have just been out to get him, etc. Both genders engage in this tactic, not just women.
stillafool Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Why then do some women use the " he perused me until I felt I had no choice but to become involved with him" as a reason for getting into bad relationships? Women have the power to say "no". Why do some choose to give it away? Because they want to be involved with the guy that's why. No one is so stupid to get involved with someone they are not attracted to or bothered by. It's just an excuse to not make themselves look bad. They would rather look weak than bad. I agree that men do the same thing especially if it's a goodlooking woman. They will walk across hot coals for her no matter how bad she treats them. 2
eye of the storm Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Ok, I'm going to change my answer. I like Angel.eyes and Stillafools answers better.
autumnnight Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 It could be because they don't REALLY want to say no. Like when someone offers to pay for your dinner and you say "Oh, no thank you, you don't have to" while secretly hoping they insist. Or it could be that while they don't want THAT person, they prefer that person to being alone. Either way, it comes down to choice, and we all have one.
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