Kylemopar Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I've been talking to this girl on IG lately. It was going great and then she just deactivated her account without warning. I managed to get a hold of her through her sister. It turns out that she just has a habit of disappearing on people even her own family because she like to 'get herself lost' but she did reassure me that it was not because of me, she's a bit strange even her sister thinks so. Anyways we continued talking until 2 in the morning like we did before and I told her that if she ever decides to go missing again to let me know, I told her that she was exactly like my ex (she actually likes that she reminds me my ex for some reason) and she said "From what you tell me ur the sweetest guy out there and that is very valuable. You're a treasure and I'm sorry I can't accept hat you're trying to do for me. If I'm so much like her then you should tread carefully. I might disappoint you as well." I again asked to take her out telling that how I'm gonna surprise her with a rose and what I would do and she replied "it sounds wonderful really...I'm just having a tough time and my head is just full of scribbles and its a mess. I can't even explain." Before that she said "well idk but I dint have enough space in my head for anything like that. I'm sorry for being myself because u seem great." I then told her that I was willing to wait, that my main goal was just to help her get trough whatever she's going through. And she said "I'm not going to answer that because honestly I don't know if it will happen." I really don't want to quit on this girl. She keeps bringing her self down. She says she barely eats and that she cried the past 5 days. What am I doing wrong I really don't want to push her away but every time I try she just blames the fact that she's not ready mentally. What am I doing wrong? I'm trying to be the shoulder for her to cry on and she does. But it just seems like there's more to it? She seems normal when posting things on IG but although sometimes she does post some depressing quotes. She's so much like my ex that it's crazy she even has the same last name. It's been really easy to talk to her and get her to tell me things but I just can't seem to get to go on a date. Her sister has told me that she is pretty weird because she has no job she just struggles all day doing and dealing with her sadness, she's 23.
usernametaken Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I've been talking to this girl on IG lately. It was going great and then she just deactivated her account without warning. I managed to get a hold of her through her sister. It turns out that she just has a habit of disappearing on people even her own family because she like to 'get herself lost' but she did reassure me that it was not because of me, she's a bit strange even her sister thinks so. Anyways we continued talking until 2 in the morning like we did before and I told her that if she ever decides to go missing again to let me know, I told her that she was exactly like my ex (she actually likes that she reminds me my ex for some reason) and she said "From what you tell me ur the sweetest guy out there and that is very valuable. You're a treasure and I'm sorry I can't accept hat you're trying to do for me. If I'm so much like her then you should tread carefully. I might disappoint you as well." I again asked to take her out telling that how I'm gonna surprise her with a rose and what I would do and she replied "it sounds wonderful really...I'm just having a tough time and my head is just full of scribbles and its a mess. I can't even explain." Before that she said "well idk but I dint have enough space in my head for anything like that. I'm sorry for being myself because u seem great." I then told her that I was willing to wait, that my main goal was just to help her get trough whatever she's going through. And she said "I'm not going to answer that because honestly I don't know if it will happen." I really don't want to quit on this girl. She keeps bringing her self down. She says she barely eats and that she cried the past 5 days. What am I doing wrong I really don't want to push her away but every time I try she just blames the fact that she's not ready mentally. What am I doing wrong? I'm trying to be the shoulder for her to cry on and she does. But it just seems like there's more to it? She seems normal when posting things on IG but although sometimes she does post some depressing quotes. She's so much like my ex that it's crazy she even has the same last name. It's been really easy to talk to her and get her to tell me things but I just can't seem to get to go on a date. Her sister has told me that she is pretty weird because she has no job she just struggles all day doing and dealing with her sadness, she's 23. Other than chasing a woman (girl?) who is going to bring depression and sadness into your life, you're not doing anything wrong. She's mentally ill. She and her sister told you so. Be her friend if you want, but I would not pursue a relationship with her at this time. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I've been talking to this girl on IG lately. It was going great and then she just deactivated her account without warning. I managed to get a hold of her through her sister. It turns out that she just has a habit of disappearing on people even her own family because she like to 'get herself lost' but she did reassure me that it was not because of me, she's a bit strange even her sister thinks so. Anyways we continued talking until 2 in the morning like we did before and I told her that if she ever decides to go missing again to let me know, I told her that she was exactly like my ex (she actually likes that she reminds me my ex for some reason) and she said "From what you tell me ur the sweetest guy out there and that is very valuable. You're a treasure and I'm sorry I can't accept hat you're trying to do for me. If I'm so much like her then you should tread carefully. I might disappoint you as well." I again asked to take her out telling that how I'm gonna surprise her with a rose and what I would do and she replied "it sounds wonderful really...I'm just having a tough time and my head is just full of scribbles and its a mess. I can't even explain." Before that she said "well idk but I dint have enough space in my head for anything like that. I'm sorry for being myself because u seem great." I then told her that I was willing to wait, that my main goal was just to help her get trough whatever she's going through. And she said "I'm not going to answer that because honestly I don't know if it will happen." I really don't want to quit on this girl. She keeps bringing her self down. She says she barely eats and that she cried the past 5 days. What am I doing wrong I really don't want to push her away but every time I try she just blames the fact that she's not ready mentally. What am I doing wrong? I'm trying to be the shoulder for her to cry on and she does. But it just seems like there's more to it? She seems normal when posting things on IG but although sometimes she does post some depressing quotes. She's so much like my ex that it's crazy she even has the same last name. It's been really easy to talk to her and get her to tell me things but I just can't seem to get to go on a date. Her sister has told me that she is pretty weird because she has no job she just struggles all day doing and dealing with her sadness, she's 23. This is a big part of your problem. She doesn't like it, I can guarantee that. Is this the same girl from your other thread, the one you'd only been talking to for 2 days and was reluctant to give you her number? If so, another part of the problem is you're too pushy. You hardly know this girl! You're trying to insert yourself into her life and be her support system and you have never even met her. Back way off.
Author Kylemopar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 Yeah same girl. She told me that she was gonna DM me on her own but I just beat her to the punch. She made a new IG and I was one of the first people she added
Toodaloo Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I am one of those people who does like to disappear for a few days. I just like the peace and quiet. I don't want to be dealing with everyday stress etc so I turn off my phone and disappear off for a couple of days. I don't do it to annoy my friends and family. I do it so that when I come back I can concentrate and think about what is needed rather than everything being jumbled up... What I think you should do? Stop worrying. Leave her be. If she wants you she will come back to you but don't put your life on hold and wait. Go out and have fun 2
Author Kylemopar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 That's what I'm going try and do. Her calling me that I'm the sweetest guy out there that is valuable
Author Kylemopar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 That's what I'm going try and do. Her calling me that I'm the sweetest guy out there that is valuable. I mean she said that I'm a treasure and that really made me feel like she could probably say yes sometime. I really don't want to lose her. I want to stay with her if I can, I really don't think she'll write back after I leave though cause we only really talked for 3 days.
empresario Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Does she have a history of mental illness? From what I can understand, the way she is describing things is along the lines of some possibly severe psychological disorders. Perhaps it's all out of context, but tread lightly.
Author Kylemopar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 Right now I feel like the only thing she is suffering from is depression. She likes to be alone. She feels that she has wasted all 23 years of her life, she brings herself down too much. Right now she has no job. She worked as a waitress but left the same day because they made her wear clothes that were degrading and she felt as if she was being overwhelmed by the customers. She has no motivation, she barely eats and always cries. And that is another thing why I just don't want to leave her, how can I just walk away from someone like that? I feel like she needs someone and trying to care for made me fall for her. I just really don't know what to do.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Right now I feel like the only thing she is suffering from is depression. She likes to be alone. She feels that she has wasted all 23 years of her life, she brings herself down too much. Right now she has no job. She worked as a waitress but left the same day because they made her wear clothes that were degrading and she felt as if she was being overwhelmed by the customers. She has no motivation, she barely eats and always cries. And that is another thing why I just don't want to leave her, how can I just walk away from someone like that? I feel like she needs someone and trying to care for made me fall for her. I just really don't know what to do. You can't really do anything. If she wants to talk to you, she will. Don't push it. One thing you should be asking yourself is why you're getting attached so quickly to a stranger.
Author Kylemopar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 She has told me that she's not looking for anything, that she's just living. Usually when a girl tells you she doesn't want to be in a relationship it usually mean that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I asked if her if the time comes that she decides to disappear again and I'm not able to find her, would she look for me and she said "yes I will look for you." And the reason why I got attached to a stranger is because we've been talking this entire time and we just click perfectly. I joined this site hoping to find love, not to be told every single time to let her go or to forget about to just move on. I'm not here to stay alone. It ****ing sucks seeing all my friends in relationships and me trying to pretend that I'm fine, but im not. I want to have someone to hold too. She was heartbroken before so maybe that's why she doesn't want to date me? Or maybe it's because she likes a guy who actually looks like a man with a full grown beard. She called me a valuable treasure and the sweetest guy ever. She's says that I seem like a great guy and that dating me sounds wonderful but she's sorry because she just can't accept what im doing for her. That she's going through tough times without a job that she doesn't have space in her head for this sort of stuff. I feel that even if she does find a job she still won't have space because she never intended too, she said I wasn't the only person that has tried to date her, that she has turned down a lot of men so I just don't know if I'm even in the running.
Toodaloo Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 She has told me that she's not looking for anything, that she's just living. Usually when a girl tells you she doesn't want to be in a relationship it usually mean that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I asked if her if the time comes that she decides to disappear again and I'm not able to find her, would she look for me and she said "yes I will look for you." I just don't know if I'm even in the running. Kyle This girl does not want you. Cut all contact and move on. I know you don't want to "abandon" her but in truth your not. You are just respecting that she doesn't want you around. Trust me on this one. Been there, done that, got so many T-shirts I could clothe an army. I can see both sides of this picture. Leave her alone and walk away. Don't contact her, no little messages to check that she is OK. Just walk away. She will respect you for it. It will take pressure off of her so she can sort herself out. 1
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