justcallmebones Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I'll admit I've done this before. Though I've only done it when there was literally no interest on my part. It's just easier than saying "I'm just not into you."
sadgirl2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 (edited) I've done both. Women do it to get prevent a possible confrontation, particularly if they feel vulnerable. The "I've got a boyfriend" usually comes into play when NO invitation for attention has been issued. No flirting, no eye contact, and the guy is usually a complete stranger. His attentions are unwanted, overly-aggressive, or inappropriate (making a pass at a woman shopping, walking home from work, on the train etc.) I've also said this when co-workers and supervisors!?! made a pass at me. Its a great way to get a man to back off without risking offending him because she is not remotely interested. Or perhaps she simply changed her mind. Or met someone in the meantime. The wrong phone number comes out when the woman doesn't know the man, may have just met him in public or be sharing a brief, flirtatious encounter with a man and might have accepted a drink from him but becomes turned off or is not interested in taking anything further than right there (he wants to her to go home with him, she doesn't). Such as a bar or a club, etc. She feels vulnerable. I've used this when men start talking about sex (apropos of nothing) and in one case, a man I had just met and had been spending time with mentioned that he carried a pistol in his car! Again, wanted to escape the situation without creating offense. Now why are some women so hesitate to offend a stranger? Why not just be an adult and stand up to him? Most men can accept a "thanks, but no thanks" easily enough. They walk away and move on, no problem. But women have to consider the men that won't. Men HATE being labeled "creepy" but how does a woman know otherwise in 2 minutes? 20? A few hours? or even a few months? What if he is the kinda guy that has been rejected repeatedly and is angry about it? The guy that aspires to an 8,9, or a 10 when he is only a 6? The man that feels led on or owed something because he chatted her up for 20 minutes and accepted a drink and now doesn't want to go home with him? Or the one that feels slighted by every woman who ever "friendzoned" him or thinks that women only want men that act like jerks? Or the guy that simply hates women and thinks they are just toys to be used and discarded? Is he having a particularly bad day? Is he drunk/high and more uninhibited? Or is he simply a predator? Is he going to retaliate for having rejected him? Will he talk smack about me to all my co-workers and make my workplace absolute hell? Will he follow me out to my car or to my home? Is he going to try to corner me in the restroom or a dark parking lot? Will he grope or assault me on the subway? Or throw acid in my face? Again, most men don't behave this way, but enough do. Violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and illness of women aged 15 to 44 years with the perpetrators mostly being men. And when a woman gets attacked or assaulted she usually gets blamed for it. How do you differentiate the creeps from the genuinely nice guys that were just going out on a limb? You can't. And its not worth risking your safety. So you fib, ensure he can save face, and get him to back off. If you are a man that this has happened to, please don't take offense. It doesn't necessarily mean you did something wrong. And it doesn't mean the woman is just trying to F with your head either. Edited August 23, 2015 by sadgirl2015 3
MissBee Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 These days with everyone having a cell phone the fake number thing rarely works because the guy will try to call you immediately so you have his # so I don't do that, but yes I say I have a boyfriend. I figure it's easier than saying I don't like you or if I say I'm not interested some guys persist; whereas, the bf thing seems to work better (though you have some who then try to say, "but we can still be friends" ). I figure, I'm not interested so lying about the bf doesn't really matter, as I'm disinterested anyway you take it, and it's less of a blow to the ego if I say that than, sorry just don't like you.
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