E-Squared Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Okay, ladies, have you ever given someone a fake phone number, or lied about having a boyfriend to someone? Also, guys, has this happened to you? I can say that it sort of happened to me once. I remember I seemingly came off a little strong to some girl I talked to a long time ago, and I asked for her number. She told me that she allegedly had a boyfriend, which in hindsight I think she lied about it. On one hand, she told me that she was new in the area at the time. The other perspective was how she said it. She did not seem like she was being too honest considering it sounded there were brief pauses in how she said it and tried to wing it. Sure, she might have met someone soon after moving to the area, or maybe it was someone from where she lived before, but I still think it was a lie because of how she told me she had a boyfriend. In some ways, I kind of think Ice Cube's line in the song, "Gangsta Gangsta," when the girl in the song said, "I got a boyfriend," and Ice Cube said "B1+c#, stop lying!" As for fake phone numbers, I never had that happen to me, but I have read on some forums that it had happened to some guys.
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I have said I have a BF when I didn't when I was younger. It seemed so much nicer then rejecting the guy. This was it seemed like it wasn't him but the timing. I used a fake bar name & had a fake # all the time. All my friends did. My name rhymed with my real name so in a crowded bar if there was ever a slip, the guy just thought he heard wrong. The fake # was 1 digit off from my real # & the # to the local pizzaria. As a young girl I really didn't have a good handle on how to deal with unwanted attention & I wasn't confident enough to be direct. By the time I was out of college I was mature enough to stop the game playing.
Toodaloo Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 If guys are not giving up or putting on pressure/ turning nasty etc I sometimes lie and tell them that I have met someone or that I have a boyfriend. Sometimes men just will not accept that you would rather be single than in a bad match and they will not let go until you put a wall (in this case the metaphorical wall is another guy) in between you. I am not a bloke but I know of men who also do this. I have been someones "girlfriend" for them when they had a girl who would not take no for an answer or leave them alone. Some people are so desperate to be in a relationship themselves that they will grab anyone they can rather than look at the bigger picture and what makes them happy and who would be a suitable match. These are the ones that I tend to use the fake boyfriend/ girlfriend excuse on. Simply because its all they understand. They don't understand that people can be happy and content in themselves and with their lives with out another person to call their partner. Its the only thing that will make them back off and leave you alone. I have never used a fake number.
Toodaloo Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 In some ways, I kind of think Ice Cube's line in the song, "Gangsta Gangsta," when the girl in the song said, "I got a boyfriend," and Ice Cube said "B1+c#, stop lying!" Those lyrics clearly show an entitlement complex on "Ice Cubes" part. A guy who is that needy would be a prime one to be told that a single girl has a boyfriend. Clearly he can't see why some women would not want to date him or find him attractive... Just because he is a man he thinks women should be dropping to their knees in front of him... Just saying that life doesn't work like that... Clearly not even for him (I assume he is a famous rapper?) if he can write about it. 3
rester Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) I've never been given a fake number, but I'm sure I've been lied to about having a boyfriend. It's a kind rejection from someone that is basically a stranger anyway, so I've never considered it a bad thing. Never really given it much thought, actually. It happens. Edited to add: I am not a bloke but I know of men who also do this. I have been someones "girlfriend" for them when they had a girl who would not take no for an answer or leave them alone. I've been the fake boyfriend many times in the past to help a female friend stay away from unwanted attention. They typically get the point rather quickly when someone is right there with them. Edited August 19, 2015 by rester 3
craw Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Yeah of course. I remember I was walking late at night in Budapest and some guy approached me asking where I was going late at night. I said to see my boyfriend. He kinda followed me and finally stopped. Not sure why men think their tactics of chasing a woman is public is sauve. It's also hard to be firm and say No.
Male Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Yeah of course. Not sure why men think their tactics of chasing a woman in public is sauve. Exactly why I never have and never will chase or approach random women in public. because 99.9999999999999999999999999% the woman wants nothing to do with you. And even if she thinks your kinda cute, it wont matter because it wont be the right place or the right time in her mind. Most women have this thought in their head that they dont want guys approaching them when they arent all dolled up and ready. They want men to stay away when they are just running errands or running in a store to buy something, but when she goes out later that night, and is at the club or bar, then all of a sudden its ok for a guy to approach. And I guess men are just supposed to "know" all these rules ahead of time, so in my mind, its not worth all the bs.
No Limit Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Not yet. Reversed problem actually, people don't believe that I'm single.
jen1447 Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I've never done either ....if I have issues with ppl pressing too hard I just usually tell them to back it down in no uncertain terms.
craw Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Exactly why I never have and never will chase or approach random women in public. because 99.9999999999999999999999999% the woman wants nothing to do with you. And even if she thinks your kinda cute, it wont matter because it wont be the right place or the right time in her mind. Most women have this thought in their head that they dont want guys approaching them when they arent all dolled up and ready. They want men to stay away when they are just running errands or running in a store to buy something, but when she goes out later that night, and is at the club or bar, then all of a sudden its ok for a guy to approach. And I guess men are just supposed to "know" all these rules ahead of time, so in my mind, its not worth all the bs. You seem like a decent dude, so I think there's a way to do something like this. Again I can't speak for all women, but approaching someone in a bookstore would be kinda cute. Non invasive, easy to handle the rejection. You know? I would prefer some guy saw me reading a book and shared a similar interest. For me, I prefer to connect intellectually ( rare ) as I'm mostly approached due to my booootaaaaay. I don't mean if you see her hurrying off you should trip her over. LOL. I will admit, Walmart is NOT a place I would be want to be approached by. I'm already deeply ashamed to be there to begin with. Humans are weirdos.
Author E-Squared Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 Truth be told, the moment that happened to me was at a community college one summer when summer semester was going on. I thought she was attractive and I remember I had asked this girl for her number and that was when I was rejected. That was okay, but even I can say that was awkward. I have heard stories of people meeting in stores, buses, bus stops, on the street, any place that does not often involve a social situation, but the question in my mind is HOW does it work for those people.
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I have heard stories of people meeting in stores, buses, bus stops, on the street, any place that does not often involve a social situation, but the question in my mind is HOW does it work for those people. My cousin met his 2nd wife on a train platform. They both looked at each other & liked what they saw so they started talking. 2
craw Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Truth be told, the moment that happened to me was at a community college one summer when summer semester was going on. I thought she was attractive and I remember I had asked this girl for her number and that was when I was rejected. That was okay, but even I can say that was awkward. I have heard stories of people meeting in stores, buses, bus stops, on the street, any place that does not often involve a social situation, but the question in my mind is HOW does it work for those people. Once I was crossing the street, some guy stopped me and said I was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and asked for my number. I gave it to him. Unfortunately, he called me and I said I was busy and completely forgot to reconnect. Too busy being a party girl. Anything can happen. Carpe Diem.
truthtripper Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Those lyrics clearly show an entitlement complex on "Ice Cubes" part. A guy who is that needy would be a prime one to be told that a single girl has a boyfriend. Clearly he can't see why some women would not want to date him or find him attractive... Just because he is a man he thinks women should be dropping to their knees in front of him... Just saying that life doesn't work like that... Clearly not even for him (I assume he is a famous rapper?) if he can write about it. "I have a boyfriend" is to the point and polite. Whether it's truth or lies is irrelevant. She's unavailable, accept it. It's unlikely that any man would want to hear something like "well actually I'm really not attracted to you" or "frankly, I find you boring" etc..... 1
Toodaloo Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 My cousin met his 2nd wife on a train platform. They both looked at each other & liked what they saw so they started talking. They probably had a bit of "normal" conversation first though! I would love to meet someone this way. Just start chatting and go from there... seems so natural and easy. There was a guy I met on a train ages ago that I started chatting to. Sadly I was on my way to the first date with squarky man so I bummed out there as he backed down and conversation went back to "normal" straight after. Classic example of normal and dignified behavior... It really isn't difficult. We are all strangers until we meet. Sometimes we are going to say no sometimes we are going to say yes. Some of the best nights out I have had have been with strangers who swiftly became friends. Its how you deal with the "yes" and the "no" that matters. If you have a no, don't let it get to you and accept its just one of those things there is no harm and no foul. If you then over react start getting all silly and/ or aggressive then it becomes a problem. Some people wind themselves up into such a pickle. I have done it so I know what its like to have all those crazy bubbles of rejection etc pop up inside you... but some take it to absolute extremes which then becomes "creapy" and not nice behavior. Control the emotions. Keep them tucked away. There is no need to get bitchy and nasty just to make yourself feel better... 1
Toodaloo Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 I always tell women I'm married.... Do they back off?
elaine567 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 "I have a boyfriend" is to the point and polite. Whether it's truth or lies is irrelevant. She's unavailable, accept it. It's unlikely that any man would want to hear something like "well actually I'm really not attracted to you" or "frankly, I find you boring" etc..... And that is why women being approached by men, have to resort to lying regarding boyfriends and fake numbers, because telling a man the truth to his face - in that he is not good looking enough, sexy enough, tall enough, rich enough, interesting enough, confident enough, well dressed enough, intelligent enough... etc. - is going to be very, very scary. It not exactly a clever thing to do, unless you want a public shouting match or to be beaten up... Nor, on the other hand, do you want to be providing the tissues... There is a place for the honest truth, and an "approach" situation is not the right place. 1
Zagan Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Do they back off? If they don't I tell em' my wifes a psychopath. 1
truthtripper Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 There was a good-looking guy working in the supermarket who used to eyeball me every time I shopped. He would even gesture at me with his arms outstretched from afar as if to ask, "when are you going to approach me?" So, one day I did but his reply was " I have a girlfriend". I was not only disappointed but felt betrayed and even mocked/bullied as he'd been leading me on with his suggestive glances/gestures for months! It was as if he had deliberately planned to humiliate me. So sometimes rejection anger can be warranted. 1
Toodaloo Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 There was a good-looking guy working in the supermarket who used to eyeball me every time I shopped. He would even gesture at me with his arms outstretched from afar as if to ask, "when are you going to approach me?" So, one day I did but his reply was " I have a girlfriend". I was not only disappointed but felt betrayed and even mocked/bullied as he'd been leading me on with his suggestive glances/gestures for months! It was as if he had deliberately planned to humiliate me. So sometimes rejection anger can be warranted. Again. One instance of one man being a prat does not condone the entire gender. You will always get pillocks no matter where you go. Learn to be quick off the mark with the responses. "Well its time you kept your eyes at home rather than looking at me, but thanks for the compliment" Would have worked well. 1
sweet_pea Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 (edited) Yes, I've done the boyfriend thing. I don't think I can do the phone number thing because I'm afraid they'll check in front of me and then yikes! I even told a guy I was underage once (I was 18 at the time, but I have a baby-ish face) but that still didn't stop him from pushing . Edited August 22, 2015 by sweet_pea
road Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Some men will try more then once. Thinking maybe or rather hoping she was not lying that she had promised her mom she would play scrabble Saturday night, or she had to wash her hair that night. So he will try to chat her up again several times in the near future, show casing himself so that maybe the next time he asks her out she will say yes. After the 2nd try they draw the conclusion that she does not want to go out with him. Some men do not know when to quit. I am not in favor of lying. Though if a girl gave me the I have a BF line. I would think another day late and a dollar short. Would I suspect that she lied? Maybe, eventually. Though that would depend on her body language and how she said it. Would it matter in hindsight? No because she still did not want to go out with me. And in the end I have to admit whatever excuse given was given to me to let me down easy. Along with that I know some women feel too awkward just saying no.
Popsicle Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I've never done this but I think guys should always believe it. I guess guys think that when a girl really does have a boyfriend she will always say no I don't have a boyfriend and give you her number? Well, that's some sort of convenient type of thinking.
GemmaUK Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Not yet. Reversed problem actually, people don't believe that I'm single. Same for me also. I'm discovering than many people I am acquainted with think I am in a LTR or happily married. Two of the ladies at work recently found out I have been single for a while and looked shocked. I am already aware that many folk who know of me in the area where I live also think the same as people have said as much when they find out I am single.
Recommended Posts