JohnKent15 Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years 3.5 months ago. I was in tough times unemployed, an injury, depression, and she hated her job and we were in a bad stage in our relationship. We did no contact for 3 weeks at a time for about 2 months, now the 3rd month Ive helped her out a few times, and we had one date. We have been extremely professional and respectful through out the Break up.. Our relationship had amazing times, but I never appreciated her, i was also scared for the next step, Moving in, and eventually a ring. the one date was amazing and she said she had fun but still is scared because she doesnt want us to go back the way we were. She doesnt know what she wants, and still needs time but hasn't ruled out getting back together. she said she wants to be 100% sure because the next step will be permanent. I have told her how i feel. We both benefited from the separation physically, mentally, aND emotionally. however I now know that I am ready for the next step, and am ready to change my ways to be a better boyfriend for her and to show her how much i appreciate and love her. I am so happy being around her. we do text from time to time but her texts are reallly delayed, and sometimes short. We set up a second date this weekend. I don't know what i am going to do yet though. What do you guys think? Do you think we will get back? I do NOT want to be just friends, that is out of the question. She did drunk text me the other night. any info/advice would be great. Thanks for reading everyone ! Edited August 19, 2015 by JohnKent15 adding
La.Primavera Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Well you already have a date with her this weekend so you are off to a good start. Just be very attentive to her needs and have a great time. If you are doing the planning make it a night she will never forget. It will work in your favor. Good luck!
PegNosePete Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Is she seeing someone else? Are you sure? I ask because you say she said she needs time. What does she need time for? Needing time is a classic line when you're being kept on the back burner, to see if things work out with the other guy or not.
SoThatHappened Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Is 3.5 months enough time to truly change your ways and realize what you want? Or do you just miss the companionship? You need to seriously consider these questions before you hurt her again.
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 You seem to have broken up because you let the pressures of life tear you apart. Assuming you are employed again, have your depression Under control & she likes her job more, there may be a chance. But here's the rub -- external pressures will always be there in some shape or form. If your relationship isn't strong enough to weather them together, what's the point in getting back together? As soon as things get tough again will you bail? At the very least you need to apologize to her for dumping her when you were scared & promise it won't happen again. 4
aloneinaz Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 You seem to have broken up because you let the pressures of life tear you apart. Assuming you are employed again, have your depression Under control & she likes her job more, there may be a chance. But here's the rub -- external pressures will always be there in some shape or form. If your relationship isn't strong enough to weather them together, what's the point in getting back together? As soon as things get tough again will you bail? At the very least you need to apologize to her for dumping her when you were scared & promise it won't happen again. This is exactly what I was thinking when I read the OP's post. When I'm under duress, I WANT my GF around to help me through it. I lean on her support and it feels good. The last thing I'd do is dump her. OP- it sounds like your GF is smart in NOT running back to you because she probably understands the risk of getting dumped again. I think as pointed out already, you need to truly assess whether you miss HER or being in a R/S. You're right in the "sweet zone" of the time frame when dumpers return to the dumpee's because they get lonely and found being single wasn't all that. 2
casey.lives Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 you shouldn't be scared of falling..enjoy the journey together. The wonderful thing about relationships is having someone to be there to watch us lift ourselves back up, to applaud our seemingly small barely recognizable successes. That's what having a "personal" "intimate" relationship entails... Give her the chance to love you back! You don't have to do it all.. all perfect! Silly you!! Stay Positive and have Faith in each other...
NVO Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 But here's the rub -- external pressures will always be there in some shape or form. If your relationship isn't strong enough to weather them together, what's the point in getting back together? As soon as things get tough again will you bail? Wow, this one struck home. ^^
nheeya Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 The chance of getting back together is there. Dont break the communication, even if she gave you short replies. Give her the time she needed, if you really want her back then be patient. Goodluck ;0)
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