How can i stop feeling awful about this breakup - i feel sick with hurt.

[Annonymous__1992]

So I've come on here for a bit of advice. To cut a long story short, I was 18 when I met my ex boyfriend. He was from the states but at was school in the UK.

 

Things were good, we were in love, had our ups and downs like every relationship...then it turned long distance. we used to go up to 9 months without seeing each other. Anyway, this time last year we sort of broke it off, but we were so on and off it was ridiculous. The distance made it hard, but i can tell you i loved him with everything in me but was so frustrated with the distance.

 

Anyway, i was in my final year of my studies, hes two years older so has already graduated. He flew me out to america over xmas and new year. Spent some time there, it was nice. Although, he made me go out because he got diagnosed with depression in November and 'needed me'. We were so on and off its unreal, but ultimately i loved him. and i stayed loyal throughout. The trip over xmas and new year was lovely.

 

This March / April we broke up. We were still messaging then suddenly he had a new girlfriend. 'Her name was emily and he met her in her apartment complex' --> well, that's what he told me. Hold up, we haven't been broken up 2 weeks and you've got a new gf? And wait a minute, I was at your apartment complex 2 months ago, i don't understand how you met someone there so quickly?

 

He lied. and me being stupid me, who can't drop anything, logged into his icloud account. I thought he was lying, i thought he wanted to get rid of me. So i logged into his icloud account to see if a girl named emily existed in his contacts. He had blocked me on everything.

 

2 days before my finals began, i see pictures of him and this other woman out in tennessee. Having cocktails by a pool in a cabin with a lovely view. I notice in the his notes (which also seemed to sync with the icloud log in) that he had a list of things to take - including a 'greece book'. The holiday we promised ourselves once i graduated.

 

Here's the worse thing, about a year ago i suspected something with him and this lady. shes a manager at his work, shes 38 and hes 24. He told me i was being stupid for those exact reasons.

 

When i was over during the winter, he got offered a new job else where. she wrote his reference and i remember thinking then 'got i am so stupid for suspecting anything'.

 

Bottom line, its been like 5/6 months and my heart is still so sore, it feels broken. my eyes have cried endless amount of tears. he doesn't care. he's told me that he never wants to hear off me again, that i'm a fr eak, called me plenty of names, told me i didnt deserve any respect when we were together and certainly dont deserve it now. he's blocked me on everything. absoutley everything imaginable. its not like i'm gona bump into him, he's in the states and i'm in the UK.

 

About a month ago, he reported me for harrassment. I just wanted the truth. I wanted closure. That's why I pestered him. Thats what i wanted.

 

I can't help but stalk his new gf - i see pics of her hanging out with him annd his friends. i feel so stupid and humiliated...but you know the saddest thing of this all is, i still love him. and i'm so confused to how he was so loving in person, but has so quickly turned his back on me. i don't know what the truth is. he insisted before he didn't cheat.

 

i just want the pain to go away. i wish i never met him. he's broken me in so many ways and i want it to all dissappear. i miss him like crazy. i haven't seen him since Jan, and the last time i did we were at the airport, saying i'll see you in a few months. he kissed my forehead and then off i went.

 

someone help me, what do i do i want the pain to go away im so sick of feeling like this. i am so confused. how could i believe that he loved me. how are people so good at faking love - how am i ever meant to trust anyone like this ever again. he was my first, and i was his too.

 

i tried to move on, met someone. couldn't keep it up. i ended it because it wasn't fair on him. my ex told me to 'grow the eff up and move on'. i feel terrible. i feel used. i feel abandoned and i want it to go away. im sick of feeling like this.

 

I feel like i've mourned a death, we spoke every single day. and the reality now is i wont see him again and i wont hear off him again. and that hurts.

 

any advice would be much appreciated. thanks in advance guys .

[seasickpeeve]

He has not treated you well and with dignity at the end of the relationship so I am not surprised that you are confused and upset and heartbroken. He is the only experience of love and relationships you know and it's been a difficult one.

 

Be thankful he is so far away so you don't have to bump into him, in the long run this will help. Try work towards unplugging from any technology that keeps him in your view. It is very difficult to do...I struggled to delete my ex from facebook but a day after and I'm already feeling a bit better about it. You don't need to know about his new girlfriend or trips away. As he's blocked you it's alot easier for him to forget and move on. Do the same and it might become easier for you too.

 

Small steps away each day. Good luck.

[JewelD]

So I've come on here for a bit of advice. To cut a long story short, I was 18 when I met my ex boyfriend. He was from the states but at was school in the UK.

 

Things were good, we were in love, had our ups and downs like every relationship...then it turned long distance. we used to go up to 9 months without seeing each other. Anyway, this time last year we sort of broke it off, but we were so on and off it was ridiculous. The distance made it hard, but i can tell you i loved him with everything in me but was so frustrated with the distance.

 

Anyway, i was in my final year of my studies, hes two years older so has already graduated. He flew me out to america over xmas and new year. Spent some time there, it was nice. Although, he made me go out because he got diagnosed with depression in November and 'needed me'. We were so on and off its unreal, but ultimately i loved him. and i stayed loyal throughout. The trip over xmas and new year was lovely.

 

This March / April we broke up. We were still messaging then suddenly he had a new girlfriend. 'Her name was emily and he met her in her apartment complex' --> well, that's what he told me. Hold up, we haven't been broken up 2 weeks and you've got a new gf? And wait a minute, I was at your apartment complex 2 months ago, i don't understand how you met someone there so quickly?

 

He lied. and me being stupid me, who can't drop anything, logged into his icloud account. I thought he was lying, i thought he wanted to get rid of me. So i logged into his icloud account to see if a girl named emily existed in his contacts. He had blocked me on everything.

 

2 days before my finals began, i see pictures of him and this other woman out in tennessee. Having cocktails by a pool in a cabin with a lovely view. I notice in the his notes (which also seemed to sync with the icloud log in) that he had a list of things to take - including a 'greece book'. The holiday we promised ourselves once i graduated.

 

Here's the worse thing, about a year ago i suspected something with him and this lady. shes a manager at his work, shes 38 and hes 24. He told me i was being stupid for those exact reasons.

 

When i was over during the winter, he got offered a new job else where. she wrote his reference and i remember thinking then 'got i am so stupid for suspecting anything'.

 

Bottom line, its been like 5/6 months and my heart is still so sore, it feels broken. my eyes have cried endless amount of tears. he doesn't care. he's told me that he never wants to hear off me again, that i'm a fr eak, called me plenty of names, told me i didnt deserve any respect when we were together and certainly dont deserve it now. he's blocked me on everything. absoutley everything imaginable. its not like i'm gona bump into him, he's in the states and i'm in the UK.

 

About a month ago, he reported me for harrassment. I just wanted the truth. I wanted closure. That's why I pestered him. Thats what i wanted.

 

I can't help but stalk his new gf - i see pics of her hanging out with him annd his friends. i feel so stupid and humiliated...but you know the saddest thing of this all is, i still love him. and i'm so confused to how he was so loving in person, but has so quickly turned his back on me. i don't know what the truth is. he insisted before he didn't cheat.

 

i just want the pain to go away. i wish i never met him. he's broken me in so many ways and i want it to all dissappear. i miss him like crazy. i haven't seen him since Jan, and the last time i did we were at the airport, saying i'll see you in a few months. he kissed my forehead and then off i went.

 

someone help me, what do i do i want the pain to go away im so sick of feeling like this. i am so confused. how could i believe that he loved me. how are people so good at faking love - how am i ever meant to trust anyone like this ever again. he was my first, and i was his too.

 

i tried to move on, met someone. couldn't keep it up. i ended it because it wasn't fair on him. my ex told me to 'grow the eff up and move on'. i feel terrible. i feel used. i feel abandoned and i want it to go away. im sick of feeling like this.

 

I feel like i've mourned a death, we spoke every single day. and the reality now is i wont see him again and i wont hear off him again. and that hurts.

 

any advice would be much appreciated. thanks in advance guys .

 

 

A breakup really is the same thing as grieving a death. That person is essentially dead to you as is the relationship you had. It's supposed to hurt for awhile.

 

What have you been doing since the breakup? Have you spent this time trying to contact him or get answers? If so, that's why you're not moving on. Everybody wants answers, but he's made it clear he's not going to give them to you, and I doubt you'd want to hear them anyway.

 

A good person, the person meant for you, would never treat you like that or talk to you like that ever. He sounds like a crap person. You deserve better. You deserve someone who will be honest with you and not leave you wondering.

 

Get a journal and write down your feelings everyday. Set goals and accomplish them. Get some new clothes or makeup or go to a party or make a new recipe. You have to try to focus on other things.

 

What helped me get over my ex in just a couple of months was writing down the awful things he said and did and posting it on my wall so I would always remember he was a pos. it hurt to see it, but it made me stop wanting to call after awhile. I got my body back in shape and thought how ****ty he'd feel once he saw my new look.

 

Don't be jealous of any girl he talks to, he will probably do the same thing to her at some point. just bc u see pics doesn't mean they're living happily ever after.

 

But you have your own life and your own hopes and your own wants and dreams. and the longer you stay focused on him, the longer you're putting everything you want on hold. It takes time and it's going to be so hard, but once you get through it, trust me, it's the best feeling.

 

I used to lay in my bed and cry all day. I couldn't enjoy and movie or tv show that involved sex, dating or couples bc I thought of him. I was a wreck.

and I don't remember when it happened because it was gradual, but I stopped caring. I can think about our most intimate memories and I don't feel a thing. Not even a twinge of sadness. Mostly just disgust that I wasted so much time on him. But he's just a figment of the past and your ex will be too as long as you keep moving forward.