How to get over a 5 and a half year relationship

[neiceybaby89]

Been with my ex boyfriend for 5 and a half years. We broke up in may but i feel like im making no progress in getting over this relationship. Im assuming he has moved on wih his life as i know that he has other females friends in his circle now. He broke up with me at first telling me he loved me but was not in love with me. So after that statement i didn't fight it because i felt like i couldnt make him want to be with me as much as it hurts. So we didnt talk after that for a month i was completely destroyed mentally. We were still friends on facebook and he would post things like he then he made a mistake. I questioned it in my head but still never said anything to him. His family and i are very close his sister had three kids in the course of our relationship and they calls me auntie and loves me dearly. They cry to call me and when i see them they cry to go behind me. His family invited me to a party that they had over a month after we broke up and i felt like i shouldnt have went but i did. I avoided him. He tried to speak to me and i just completely ignored him. The whole night he looked crushed. If one of his friends said something he would laugh and joke with them then that look of hurt was on his face again. After the party he text me and told me to be careful going home and thats when i finally responded. Simply with ok. He then texted me saying that i looked very nice and i told him thank you and left it at that. After that he continued to text and make small talk. I asked him why was he continuing to text me when he was the on who ended our relationship . He told me because he never said he wanted me out of his life he just didnt want to be tied down anymore. He said he wanted us to be friends but that was something my heart couldnt do and still cant. But he was not understanding that he blew up and got mad i told him to let me go because he was not happy with me so why continue to hold on. He responded that he didnt know why he was holding on but he loved me and did not want me out of his life. I tokd him that i could not see myself in any other type of relationship with him if it was not a relationship . So we stopped talking for a few days. I talk to his sister everyday. She expressed concerns to me that their mom and she felt. They felt like he was out doing things to get him into trouble. A lot of new friends was surrounding him and some new females. Which tore my heart to shreds. She begged and pleaded with me about talking to him and i told her ive tried when we was together and he didnt listen so i doubt if he would listen now. Although i told her i would not talk to him about his lifestyle as i felt like it would backfire in my face and cause me more hurt , when he texted me that same day trying to have causal conversation i saod something and he told me the females are just people him and his friends chill and hang out with and that he would not allow the people he with to get him into trouble. I also asked him what did he mean on facebook when he said he feeling like he mad a mistake and he said that was something he was not ready to talk to me about and in due time he would tell me. I had asked him about getting some things he left at my house because i felt like it would help bring closure. He blew up at me telling me not to bother him about some old things he left at my house and he would get them when he was ready to. So i left the situation alone and took it as he didnt want them. I threw them in the closet knowing he would ask for them. He then posted on facebook saying he wondered if it was too late to apologize amd his sister told him it wasnt and tried to encourage him to do it. The next morning i woke up to a very long text message from him saying he apologize for hurting me. He didnt mean for us to end the way we did he just got tired of being in a relationship and wasnt happy. For some reason that caused me more hurt. But Still everyday i would talk to his sister and i express to her that i was thinking of moving to Charlotte to start new snd that i would be going there in a few days to visit my aunt and check it out. The next day i got a text from him and i can tell he was angry but he was asking for his stuff. I told him that when i got back in town we could set up a time for him to come. He replied with whatever. I asked him why all of a sudden that stuff mattered now when ive tried to give him his things. He said because its getting cold and he needs his coats and thing. Ok so this is the first of august he text this. So its no where near being cold outside. So i told hime that and he was like i want my stuff since you are trying to move. I told him he should have got it from the beginning and being the smart mouth that he is he replied well i didnt but i want it now. I also asked him again why did he post he felt like he made a mistake. And he said he made a mistake by trying to move on from us then asked me was i happy that he finally told me and i responded no. Because that made things for me more complicated. I asked how was it a mistake when he said that was what he wanted. He told me he didnt know. I asked did he still want us to be together and he said apart of him does. So i asked was that part his heart thats was wanting us to be together and he said yes. So i asked why was he going against what his heart wanted and he siad because he was liking not being tied down he was liking being able to do what he wanted to do. But to me this is all contradiction. He said he wanted us to be together just not right now. Because he enjoys his lifestyle. I told him that i would not wait on him and he told me he understands and to do what i felt i needed to do. So i asked him to be clear. Was he sayin that he wanted us to be together later on but if i moved on then ole well. He asked why would i make it sound like that and he said he didnt want it to sound like that. So i asked him again was that what he meant and he said kind of. So once again im confuse. I texted him out of the blew a few days later that i loved him and just felt like he needed to know that. He told me that that was something that he knew. So august 8 i texted him when i got back and told him he could come get his things but he never responded. I sent him a facebook message and he looked at it but never responded. So i text him again a day later and told him that i didnt know what the problem was but i was holding up to my word that i would allow him to get his things when i got back but since he was refusing to respond to me i would take it as he didnt want them and that i wouldn't bother him about it anymore. He never responded to the text so i facebook messaged him again and he look at it and still never replied. He post things on facebook often but he still wont reply to me. I asked his sister did he say anything about why he wasnt talking to me and she said no. She said she told him to get his things and he said he would when he was ready. Now sunday august 16th his sister called me and told me he was arrested and that some girl called her and told her this and that she was following the police to see about him getting out. I cried so bad but it wasnt because of the female but because i was hurting to know that he was destroying is life to fit in with people that means him no good. It hurts because in the talk we had i warned him of getting in trouble with the law. He has a good job and could have so much going on for himself but he is choosing to do things without thinking to fit in. Im just at a point where i dont want to feel these things anymore. I want to be at peace with this. I pray daily for God to retore me and my heart and i also still pray for him mostly. I dont know why he won't respond to me. I find myself thinking a lot about that. Also when he got out of jail he told his sister not to tell me. I just dont understand. I was thinking maybe to cut ties with his family and maybe that would make it easier but then again i dont think thats right because they did nothing to me. I would feel horrible to cut the kids off. Does anyone have suggestions on how to shake these emotions

[Satu]

Wall of text; didn't read.

[SycamoreCircle]

You can sort of see faces and shapes in that thing if you stare at it for a minute.