So she broke up with me in a text message.

[stevedes]

We have been dating for 2 years and just like any relationship we had our ups and downs. I was in love with this girl and did everything i could to make her happy.I even got an apartment with her and she dumped me so coldly. I was at her house the prior week and she was being extremely cold and so i started to bring it up and I was crying while having this conversation with her and her face was blank. I left upset, but came back because i left my phone at her house. I broke up with her formally in person that night because i felt that she did not care. The next day she texted me saying she feels like this is a mistake and i agreed because it did not feel right, we got back together.

 

Fast forward one week we got into a arguement and she said she wants her space and to take a break. I said thats okay I understand.

 

4 days later I get a text message saying we should move on, we were good for each other for the time being.

 

Of course this upsets me and i text her asking her tons of questions and she never replies.

 

I finally text her telling her I am coming to get my stuff , then she replies okay i will put it outside.

 

I get there and realize some of my stuff is missing so I tried calling her , texting no answer. So i just rang the doorbell then she texts me saying are you serious ! leave now or i am calling the cops.

 

That hurt a lot, but i left because i had more self respect for myself

 

Fast forward another 3 days and her older brother sends me a picture of another man hanging up on my ex mirror. He tells me he is sorry and that he just wanted me to see the kind of girl i was with.

 

Keep in mind I loved this girl with all my heart, the 2 years we were together she was in nursing school and not working so I supported us. Turns out the guy is some 30 year old she met at her job and she only got the job about a month ago.

 

How could she do this to me?

 

I keep texting her asking for closure because it was really bothering me how she wouldn't even talk to me face to face about this and she just messaged me back saying this is our closure and how she found a real man blah blah blah

 

 

Basically it just hurts a lot and i have no clue how to cope. I am still dreaming about her almost every night. She was apart of my family and i was apart of hers.

 

How could she be so cold to me about this?

[swanny55]

Well I have been there my friend but was dumped on facebook never got to ask why,it's better this way if you had found out after about 6 months that she was dating you and seeing the other man you would have been more upset go and have a drink meet new people best to forget and move on.I met the other guy who my girl left me for 6 months later got him a drink and said thx mate !!!!

[stevedes]

I don't want her back anymore because I have more self respect than that, I just don't understand how you can be so cruel to someone you loved for 2 years. Literally not even a conversation and explain it to me. Just a text message and poof thats it. We had a deep connection and lived together. It just makes me feel horrible.

[aloneinaz]

I don't want her back anymore because I have more self respect than that, I just don't understand how you can be so cruel to someone you loved for 2 years. Literally not even a conversation and explain it to me. Just a text message and poof thats it. We had a deep connection and lived together. It just makes me feel horrible.

 

 

 

The best advice anyone could give you is to stick around this site. Read as many threads as you can in the breaks and breaking up forum. You'll gain lots of insight about relationships from it.

 

 

You guys sound like your in your early 20's. Lately, there's been lots of posts from this age group with the relationships running there course and flaming out. Why? Because people that age want more relationship experience and sow their oats. When a relationship starts to become more work than pleasure, it should end which is what happened w/you two.

 

 

It's not unusual for one or the other to move on quickly after they end. In most cases, one or both people had not been happy for a while and checked out emotionally before it ended. Now, they feel relief that it's over and move on.

 

 

As you said, save your pride and dignity and don't contact her again. Read the NC thread here for some insight. She's moved on and you should do the same.

[NVO]

You guys sound like your in your early 20's. Lately, there's been lots of posts from this age group with the relationships running there course and flaming out. Why? Because people that age want more relationship experience and sow their oats. When a relationship starts to become more work than pleasure, it should end which is what happened w/you two.

 

Ha, this is so true. Some people like to think that relationships are all about having fun and when they hit the first bump during the ride, they bail. Consider yourself lucky.

[Chi townD]

Okay, do you know why she didn't answer the door when you wanted some of those missing items? Because she was in there with that other guy! Other dude knew that you were coming over and wanted to be her knight in shining armor and want to be there to protect her. She probably told him that you have a temper and could become violent and she "scared" to be around you.

 

 

So, when she texted you, "Are you serious? Leave or I'll call the cops" I would have responded, "Please do. And when they get here you can hand them my (whatever items of yours is missing) or you can just give them to me right now so I can leave".

 

 

You don't need "closure". Why? So she can tell you a load of crap about what YOU did or didn't do to end the relationship? Her actions spoke louder than words. Her brother did you a favor. He knows you're a nice guy and didn't deserve that. That's why he sent you that pic. Not to be mean. It's because HE respected you enough that you were owed the truth! I mean, she's a coward. Breaking up with you over text?

 

 

Now, you know the truth. It's been laid out for you. She's a coward and a cheat. THERE'S YOUR CLOSURE! There, I just gave it to you.

 

 

Now it's time to get your revenge. And the BEST revenge you can get is to lead a DAMN good and adventurous life. Heal and move on from this. Start making positive chances in your life.

[Gus Grimly]

So, when she texted you, "Are you serious? Leave or I'll call the cops" I would have responded, "Please do. And when they get here you can hand them my (whatever items of yours is missing) or you can just give them to me right now so I can leave".

 

That's actually a really great response and honestly, the police would have obliged the OP too.

 

My recent BU with my Ex fiance was the most expensive breakup I've ever had. I didn't try to get my stuff back as I consider those possessions a casualty of war.

 

She did, however, tell me she was sending my things back to me. What I received in the mail was a box filled with extension cords, light bulbs, a package of chopsticks, an iPad quickstart guide, a notepad and the engagement ring. Thank god, what would do without my favorite extension cord?

[stevedes]

Thanks a lot guys for all the replies, it truly means a lot. I know that its stupid but it just bothers me so much how someone who you were very serious with and we lived together saw each other everyday can just vanish from your life and treat you like dirt about it.

 

It's sad because as much as i know i should never take her back ever. I would still consider it. We were even looking at engagement rings together and had a planned future, the thought of her sharing that with someone else just makes me sick to my stomach.

 

I even went to strip club to try and feel better about the situation but it only made me feel even worse.

 

How long will i feel like **** and how am I ever supposed to trust anyone with my heart again? No one in my family could ever see this happening from her. She was the good girl who just studied and never wanted to go out. I thought she was different but it seems they are all the same.

[spiderowl]

Some people seem to shut off more easily than others. At the end of a relationship, some will feel terrible guilt and concern for the person they have left; others behave as if a switch has turned off in their head. I am sorry that she seems to be one of those. If it's any consolation, her current 'interest' will be at risk of the same treatment somewhere along the line.

 

I am sorry this happened to you. Some things cannot be explained and although it is a natural process to want to understand, sometimes these things cannot be understood. When I went through a break-up, I found most people came out with platitudes - 'plenty of fish in the sea', 'he was no good', etc., but the most helpful phrases I heard were 'He was not the man you thought he was' and, when looking ahead, 'you were genuine, kind and loving; you should be proud of yourself and your integrity and not look back and feel you failed in any way'.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Thanks a lot guys for all the replies, it truly means a lot. I know that its stupid but it just bothers me so much how someone who you were very serious with and we lived together saw each other everyday can just vanish from your life and treat you like dirt about it.

 

I hear you, brother. My ex - fiancé dumped me out of the blue, moved into an apartment with another guy and is pregnant after only 3 1/2 months. I haven't heard a peep out of her, especially to show any thought or concern about me. Some people are just heartless that way I guess.

[Oregon_Dude]

the most helpful phrases I heard were 'He was not the man you thought he was' and, when looking ahead, 'you were genuine, kind and loving; you should be proud of yourself and your integrity and not look back and feel you failed in any way'.

Thanks for these.

[bubbaganoosh]

Look. Asking questions will get you no where. Just more questions. All you need to know is that your seeing her for who she really is.

 

Not to mention that if you keep wondering with all the whys and questions, your healing will take a lot longer.

 

Anytime you feel the need to ask her why, look at the picture of the new guy and feel good that he's the one now with the problem. Stop looking in the past and look forward. You'll get over it.

[Waynester]

Sorry to hear your story my friend. Being dumped, particularly in this cold way is one of the worst emotional painful feelings you will experience. I have always likened it to a bereavement, the feeling of loss & pain are so similar. And like bereavement, the healing process simply takes time.

 

Do not try to figure out what went wrong, that would be a pointless waste of your time. She has simply met someone else, and in doing so has ended her time with you. Some people do this with some kindness...most do it coldly as you simply do not matter any more to them.

 

Know that many many people on here have gone through similar, you will be ok, but it does take time.. Use your family and friends for support when you feel weak. Be kind to yourself, go NC, and keep your self respect.

 

This means nothing to you now, but know this...you will feel better again, you will meet someone new one day who will be crazy for you and not hurt you, but only when you're ready.

 

Karma will visit your ex one day, but you will not care..because you WILL have moved on!

[stevedes]

Update

 

After the break up I was a huge mess, i went on a straight party binge. Traveled to Ny with some friends and just got completely black out wasted every night. It felt good but sort of gross. Now I have slowly gotten back into the routine of life since the semester has started back up. I have been dating around and got laid couple times.I am now just dating this one girl and so far she has been awesome to me. My ex was calling and texting me constantly and i would never answer. Until acouple days ago, she called me 5 times and i caved. She was crying and telling me how much she missed me and still loved me. I pretty much let her have it and felt horrible afterwards. Just called her a horrible person and told her i hope she's happy with her new boyfriend and maybe next time someone cares about her she should try to be a decent person and tell them in person. She claims she never cheated on me with her current boyfriend and that she just met him at her job after we broke up, i can't believe that though it wasn't even a week until you were in a relationship.

 

Then yesterday she sent me another huge long apology text message about how what she did was horrible she just didn't know how to handle the situation blah blah blah.

 

Now I don't want to lie to myself but part of me wants her back, I loved her but how is that even possible still. I shouldn't contact her at all should I?. I mean i was doing just fine without her but it's extremely hard to forget about someone that was so important to me... I just don't understand why you would wait 2 months to apologize to me about how you broke it off WHILE you have another boyfriend.

 

I shouldn't have answered that phone call huh?

[quattrob]

No idea why you would want someone like her back, breaking up through a text and even threatening to call the cops on you when you're just asking to get your stuff back is downright disrespectful of you and shows how much she was willing to dump you like the trash you are to her.

 

 

So maybe her current relationship with the new guy isn't what she expected it to be so now she goes back to the safety net (you). She probably feels she has power over you because she knows you loved her.

 

 

Don't even think about giving her a chance, you'll just be hurt again. Her brother knows how she is that's why he sent you that picture to make sure you know what she truly is. She's a selfish B!*** and only thinks about herself and her own happiness. Make no mistake if you give her the opportunity again, once she finds someone else she will dump you harder than the first. Don't trust her because you can't trust her.

[TaraMaiden2]

Update

 

After the break up I was a huge mess, i went on a straight party binge. Traveled to Ny with some friends and just got completely black out wasted every night. It felt good but sort of gross. Now I have slowly gotten back into the routine of life since the semester has started back up. I have been dating around and got laid couple times.I am now just dating this one girl and so far she has been awesome to me. My ex was calling and texting me constantly and i would never answer. Until acouple days ago, she called me 5 times and i caved. She was crying and telling me how much she missed me and still loved me. I pretty much let her have it and felt horrible afterwards. Just called her a horrible person and told her i hope she's happy with her new boyfriend and maybe next time someone cares about her she should try to be a decent person and tell them in person. She claims she never cheated on me with her current boyfriend and that she just met him at her job after we broke up, i can't believe that though it wasn't even a week until you were in a relationship.

 

Then yesterday she sent me another huge long apology text message about how what she did was horrible she just didn't know how to handle the situation blah blah blah.

 

Now I don't want to lie to myself but part of me wants her back, I loved her but how is that even possible still. I shouldn't contact her at all should I?. I mean i was doing just fine without her but it's extremely hard to forget about someone that was so important to me... I just don't understand why you would wait 2 months to apologize to me about how you broke it off WHILE you have another boyfriend.

 

I shouldn't have answered that phone call huh?

 

No, you shouldn't.

Think about this carefully:

Why are you even considering treating your current GF ("she's been awesome to me") with such disrespect?

Do you really want to appear, in her eyes, the way your Ex-Gf appeared, in yours?

 

Cease all contact with your ex. Block her, delete her number and deny her all access.

Don't fer chrissakes waste your time, sitting there, wondering "what if...?"

 

Her brother - her OWN BROTHER - showed you what kind of a self-serving callous woman she can be.

All this crying and creeping is self-serving. She's feeling sorry for herself, and wants your sympathy?? Are we kidding, here - ?! I mean, REALLY??

 

She showed you just what she's made of. She's a coward and I'll be honest - get back together with her, and believe me, you'll be setting yourself up for more of the same.

Be good to the new and awesome girl you've got. You dodged a bullet, and you really do NOT want to put yourself back into the firing line.

[ExpatInItaly]

Stay far, far away from your ex. She disrespected you and your relationship. Who cares if she's crying and sad and misses you? Too bad, sweetheart. She made this bed. She probably isn't getting along so well with her new boyfriend so she's looking for you. I would bet any money that's why you're hearing from her now. You're still Plan B. Make no mistake, it's not because she suddenly realizes she loved you. It's because if the new boyfriend gets rid of her, she won't have a guy around anymore. Don't allow yourself to be treated that way.

 

I would also bet any money this guy was in the house with her when you went to get your things. It's obvious that's the real reason she wouldn't let you in. Remember that any time you start missing her. And I don't buy that she didn't get together with him before she broke up with you. Hence her ability to go completely cold. Someone else had her heart.

 

Bottom line, she's a jerk. Don't let jerks have access to your heart and well-being. She showed you what she is capable of. Enjoy the new girl you've been seeing and have no more contact with the ex. She wasn't The One for you.

[stevedes]

Thanks guys, you pretty much told me exactly what my brain knows, but what my heart didn't want to believe.

 

Going to just live my life and hopefully never wind up back on this forum.

 

Every response was appreciated!

 

Thanks again,

[Christos]

Thanks guys, you pretty much told me exactly what my brain knows, but what my heart didn't want to believe.

 

Going to just live my life and hopefully never wind up back on this forum.

 

Every response was appreciated!

 

Thanks again,

 

Why not? I am almost over my ex, i don't care about talking about her anymore. I just like it here, i like the discussion. I think i will keep visiting here

[rishu1211]

it happens bro., my ex did even worse than this.. when i approached her for closure.. she acted so weird and trsated me like ****, ignored me on road threatening me she will shout in public as if i was trying to rape her.. she was having the bag i gifted her took all her stuff nd threw that bag.. i picked up the bag nd went away..

A few days later i slammed her even worse, called up her dad and gave all her stuff to him and asked mine, and never contacted her again.. if they cant be mature like breaking up face to face on good terms.., they dont deserve good side of ours. its going to be 8 months now.. and i feel great, they dont deserve us. we all are with you..