Author TheBathWater Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) Well, so far I've told my most recent partners. None of them have noticed any warts develop on themselves. One of them told me she used to have HPV in the past but was cleared of it. No one freaked out. Everyone thanked me for telling them and said they'd keep an eye out. Now I tell the woman I'm dating when I see her next. I would still rather not have a wart than to have one, obviously, but like someone else said, the worse part of warts is the stigma associated with it for being an STI and the psychological distress that comes from that. There are no health risks from this strain of HPV. Edited August 19, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine
lana-banana Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Where did you hear that? I'm not saying you're wrong, but that goes against everything I've ever been told by doctors or read online. Er, pretty much everywhere? Yes, like all viral infections it still exists in the body to some degree, but after a period it decreases to undetectable levels and the body neutralizes it. Genital warts aren't permanent. This is also why you aren't sypposed to get a LEEP for every cervical dysplasia; they often spontaneously reverse as the body clears up the infection itself. I am not sure why your partners don't want you finishing inside them, because HPV is a skin infection and if the condom is off it doesn't matter.
Author TheBathWater Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 I told her last week. She was a little weirded out and couldn't decide how she felt about it. I gave her as much information as I knew, gave her proof I was negative for all other STIs, offered resources if she wanted to know more, asked her how she was feeling about it, etc... At first, she wanted us to take a step back and get to know each other more. She was acting a little cold and judgmental, but I was willing to look past it seeing that this was her first experience (and mine) with something like this. We had an AMAZING weekend together, my single wart continues to look better, and seemed like we were getting closer with each other. Then, I leave her alone for two days, and out of nowhere, she calls me tonight and accuses me of not caring about her health, being irresponsible with her sexually, and negligent of her feelings. What the hell? I wanted to hear her out at first, though I thought she was sounding cold and judgmental again. But no matter how empathic I tried to be and reassure/support, she kept stepping all over me. I finally shot back at her and told her I was not okay with her talking to me like that - that I could not have been more responsible about all of this, that it has been a big uncomfortable headache for me, and that I was growing tired of her hot/cold and judgy attitude. She didn't seem to care at all and I took that as a bad sign, and let her go right there on the spot. Please reassure me and tell me I was not stupid about this? I can't see what more I could have done. This whole thing has been horrible for me and she is actually accusing me of not caring! I can't believe how insensitive she is being!
Author TheBathWater Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 *bump* I would appreciate any kind of support others can offer on my last post. I can respect if she were feeling hesitant, but I feel she was really judgmental, accusing, and fickle; and I feel wronged here and in need of some affirmation.
regine_phalange Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 You werent! You handled this very well. If she gets so judgemental for something that isnt your fault then I dont know. Not a good sign. Its ok to be hesitant but judging you like that? She needs to shake her head to straighten out her brain. I can take you out on a date! Not scared of warts at all Dont worry. Its a big inconvenience but a good filter for the future to sort out judgemental and eternal victim women.
Gaeta Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 *bump* I would appreciate any kind of support others can offer on my last post. I can respect if she were feeling hesitant, but I feel she was really judgmental, accusing, and fickle; and I feel wronged here and in need of some affirmation. Oh dear I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong. She is just uneducated and doesn't know how common this is. Like I said in my other post 95% of chances she'll get it in a couple of years. I carry hsv and I have to go through telling the news fairly often. I've had all types of reactions, sometimes I think the guy will be cool with it and he's not and men I thought would not be able to see past it ended up the most accepting. In my case I have to tell for the rest of my life, in your case in a couple of years it will just be something in the past. I'm sorry for your disappointment. Again you handled it like a responsible person you have nothing to feel bad about. 1
Author TheBathWater Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 You werent! You handled this very well. If she gets so judgemental for something that isnt your fault then I dont know. Not a good sign. Its ok to be hesitant but judging you like that? She needs to shake her head to straighten out her brain. I can take you out on a date! Not scared of warts at all Dont worry. Its a big inconvenience but a good filter for the future to sort out judgemental and eternal victim women. That's what I'm saying. It's a single wart on my pubic bone. There are no health risks. It will be gone in probably less than a week and never return. It's no more harmful than a pimple! Kissing someone with a cold is worse. I could not have been more responsible, honest, educative, or sensitive with her about all of this, and she is basically shaming me and making me feel dirty with no compassion. I can't even begin to imagine how she would act toward me down the road when we encounter serious relationship issues that require team work. Now I don't want to get closer to this person and be vulnerable with them about my personal history/past emotional hurts/family issues. How judgmental is she going to be then? I'm SO glad it's done!
Author TheBathWater Posted September 6, 2015 Author Posted September 6, 2015 So, after sitting with all of this for a week or so, I decided to try and contact her and patch things up. Other than that one argument/misunderstanding on the phone, we got along really well for the month and a half we were seeing each other. And this was all over a silly wart that is now gone and might have actually been a mole my doctor says. I tried reaching out to her trying to salvage the connection a few days ago, but she said no because we have different communication styles. I don't get that from that one phone conversation. I think if there's feelings developing, which there were based on her own account before this whole wart thing became an issue, then you work through it. I penned a handwritten note and left it in her mailbox last night trying to set the record straight. I hope she comes around, but I'm not betting on it.
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