Everybody always seems to be involved or wanting to be..

[SerCay]

I've been single for a while now. Personally I like it, because I enjoy being alone and doing things on my own, with my friends and my family.

 

Yet what I notice around me is that people are always involved with someone, or trying to be involved again with someone as soon as they become single :S

 

In the past this used to put pressure on me as well, but now I'm like yeahhh I don't really care.

 

But I do wonder why it is that most people are so afraid to stay single?

I have this friend for example, she's 35, and it's as if she's dating everyone and everything that comes along, just to find someone as soon as possible, and in the mean time she's kind of depressed most of the time..

 

Anyone noticed this?

Edited August 18, 2015 by SerCay

[CarmenMiranda]

Many people seem to greatly fear being alone. But, although it's a stereotype there is definitely some truth to women feeling more pressure past 35 if they want to have kids. As my 36-year-old friend says: "Even if I meet someone now. Then we date for at least a year. Then we get engaged. Another year. Then unless I get pregnant right away I'm 40 by the time I'm having my first kid and that might be too late."

 

(They're right, by the way. A woman's fertility drops off rapidly after age 35.)

[oldshirt]

 

But I do wonder why it is that most people are so afraid to stay single?

I have this friend for example, she's 35, and it's as if she's dating everyone and everything that comes along, just to find someone as soon as possible, and in the mean time she's kind of depressed most of the time..

 

 

Are you sure she is dating all these people because she is anxious to get hitched again or is she multi dating because she can?

 

If I were to become single again I would date whoever I wanted to at that moment and whoever would have me. I would date whoever caught my eye and whoever I wanted to spend time with at that moment. I would have an open mind and date people at I probably would not have given a second thought to in my young and single days.

 

I would do that not as desperation to get reattached as soon as possible but rather to just experience New things and new people and different perspectives.

 

When I was young and single I focused my dating only on people that I thought had good potential to be "the one." Now after 20 years of marriage and two kids, I would have a completely different perspective and purpose.

 

It could be your friend is somewhat the same way and dating a variety of people just to enjoy meeting and getting to know a different variety of people than when she was younger and single rather than out of any desperation to remarry.

 

If you are single, you might as well reap the benefits that being single provides and one of those benefits is dating whoever you want, whenever you want and however you want.

[deadelvis]

...I have this friend for example, she's 35, and it's as if she's dating everyone and everything that comes along, just to find someone as soon as possible, and in the mean time she's kind of depressed most of the time..

 

Anyone noticed this?

 

I also have a female friend the same age who fits that description perfectly.

 

We're told by society that being happy means being married. It's that simple. Social conditioning. Married people are always trying to set up their single friends. Why? Because misery loves company.

[spiderowl]

Some people just have a stronger need to be in a relationship where they feel special and wanted than it appears you do. You sound happy to be on your own and find friends and family fulfilling. Personally, I could spend more time with friends and family if I chose to but I would really like to meet someone who thinks I am a bit more special than just a friend - someone who has time for me and who needs romance and physical affection like I do.

 

It's fine if you don't need the above, but there are people who feel a greater need than you do. It doesn't make them stupid or weaker in any way or mean that they are more subject to social conditioning. People recognise their own needs and respond accordingly; it is instinctive.

Edited August 18, 2015 by spiderowl