jasxo Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) I was with the most amazing guy in the world and I f***ed it all up. I can't forgive myself. He ALWAYS treated me with such dignity, care and respect but I was depressed during the last couple of months in our relationship and I admit I treated him differently. I was more irritable and started silly arguments and he couldn't handle it. Those arguments don't mean anything in comparison to the hole that's left in my life now that he's gone. I beat myself up over it constantly and now I just feel more depressed. I think if only I never did "this" or "that" maybe he would still be here in my arms right now. He was so special to me and I should have shown it more. I'm so sorry for the way I treated him. He said I used to make his confidence soar but towards the end I was breaking it down. I can't sleep, I can't eat more than one meal a day, I feel physically sick from stress. I only weigh 98 pounds now and I used to be 115 when we were together. All of my hopes and dreams were tied to him and now I don't have any anymore. He is the only person that saw the beauty in all of my flaws. I broke no contact and sent him a kind message explaining why I acted the way I did and if this is what makes him happy I accept it. I want him to come back but I think he'll remember the bad times more than the good. How do I get over the fact that I lost a genuinely great guy? He never did anything wrong to me. I'll have to deal with these mistakes for the rest of my life. Edited August 18, 2015 by jasxo
HandsomeBoh Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I have depression too, and I think the combination of the anxiety, negativity and inferiority/superiority complex drove the most perfect love to its oblivion. I want her back more than anything as well, but for that to even happen, people like you and I need to sort out our issues. Get professional help if you need it, and if you have it, commit to it like you've never committed to anything before. He may be the person you need, but you're not the person he deserves. Focus on becoming that person, and even if he doesn't take you back, the next person will deserve you.
Qboro90 Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Don't rely on someone else to have your "hopes and dreams" fulfilled. You will always have issues with men if you put all that expectation and reliance on a relationship. You can make yourself happy. You need to find out how to do that before you can be a good girlfriend to anyone. If you don't you're gonna run into the same problems over and over.
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