Mountaingirl83 Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 So my ex boyfriend and I generally got along well but we argued over how much time we spent together. He is a lawyer and when we were dating he was basically living at work. I was going through a lot of personal and family issues and felt like he wasn't there for me. In retrospect, he was the first guy I dated after my divorce and I think I was expecting too much from a guy I'd been dating a few months and was expecting him to be more of a husband Anyway it all came to a head with him saying I am going yo be focused on my career for the next several years and if that's a problem we shouldn't see each other anymore and I said OK, we shouldn't. That was 10 months ago and we only spoke one time since. He called me out of the blue to wish me happy birthday. So last week I ran into him and the gym. We felt am instant connection. We agreed to meet up for coffeee, which lead to drinks, which lead to dinner and more drinks and then he slept over. He said he had really missed me and he has a new job that is less demanding. In the meantime, I've discovered how much I enjoy own space and don't feel as needy. We agreed to try dating and taking it slow. Bad idea? Any tips for making this work?
fitnessfan365 Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) He says he misses you and has a less demanding job to plan things better. So I say let him prove it. For the next 4-6 weeks do all public dates and take sex out of the equation. Let him show that he can actually plan things and prioritize you when it has nothing to do with sex. Edited August 18, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1
scooby-philly Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Let's just not focus on him. That's not bad advice to get him to do public dates and try and keep things less physical - but what will you do. I mean, he made it clear what his priorities were before. You'd be surprised how many people out there are fine with that sort of thing. But at the time you needed support and he couldn't give it to you. You said it yourself - you find yourself not needing as much now. And he's apparently changed - at least jobs - as well. I am an absolute, 100%, no doubt, believer that things don't work out sometimes because people are at different points in there lives. I love listening to people say how people were more committed back in the day - not really. They had less options, knew less people, and generally traveled less. Of course, that doesn't apply to the rich, and the only thing that held their marriage together was the stigma of money and the issue of inheritance. History aside, let it ride out. See what happens. Who knows, maybe you weren't strong enough together to fix things 10 months ago, but things are different now.
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