Author deadelvis Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 Maybe because of the same reason YOUR girlfriend stays with YOU. He has a good job, gives her money, pays all her bills, does all the domestic chores....while allowing her to skate by NOT working, and having a nice little cushy life... while HE works his butt off supporting her.... hehe right. but the difference is I treat my girlfriend like a queen. She has it pretty good, just laying around the house in her PJ's while I'm sweating in the coal mines. But I would never be abusive to her, verbally, emotionally, physically etc. If I was rude to her she would walk out the door in a heartbeat. Any self respecting woman would be out the door as soon as her BF/H started gaslighting or any other type of emotional abuse. My GF certainly enjoys the benefits of having a BF who supports her, but she'd stab me with a kitchen knife if I talked to her the way my boss talks to his wife. 1
katiegrl Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 right. but the difference is I treat my girlfriend like a queen. She has it pretty good, just laying around the house in her PJ's while I'm sweating in the coal mines. But I would never be abusive to her, verbally, emotionally, physically etc. If I was rude to her she would walk out the door in a heartbeat. Any self respecting woman would be out the door as soon as her BF/H started gaslighting or any other type of emotional abuse. My GF certainly enjoys the benefits of having a BF who supports her, but she'd stab me with a kitchen knife if I talked to her the way my boss talks to his wife. How do you know? You said you have never been abusive or rude to her, so seriously dude, how do you know what she would do? I know many women who tolerate just about anything as long as her boyfriend supported her, paid her bills, did all the chores while she got to lounge around in her PJs all day doing nothing. And BTW, are you sure that's all she's doing during the day? Just sain. 1
GravityMan Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I suggest you stop caring so much about your boss's relationship with his wife, OP. That's not your business. Just go to work, do your job, act professional, fulfill any on-the-job social obligations, and go home at the end of the day. And then do it again the next day, and the next. That's it. Tune all the other extraneous stuff out. Also, if this bothers you so much, then just quietly find another job at a different company and put in your two weeks notice, and then leave with a professional, polite attitude. Don't say a word about their relationship. Just let it go, and move on. Personally, I would be wary of accepting a job where the boss and his/her spouse both work. But that's just me. There are good reasons why many people keep some separation between work and their personal/private lives. 2
katiegrl Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) right. but the difference is I treat my girlfriend like a queen. She has it pretty good, just laying around the house in her PJ's while I'm sweating in the coal mines. But I would never be abusive to her, verbally, emotionally, physically etc. If I was rude to her she would walk out the door in a heartbeat. Any self respecting woman would be out the door as soon as her BF/H started gaslighting or any other type of emotional abuse. My GF certainly enjoys the benefits of having a BF who supports her, but she'd stab me with a kitchen knife if I talked to her the way my boss talks to his wife. Not to get on your case, but any self-respecting woman would have a job and would want to contribute to the relationship with her boyfriend. At the very least contribute to doing at least some of the chores....and NOT allow her boyfriend to do it ALL, while she sits on her rear all day, in her PJs. Sheesh! Edited August 18, 2015 by katiegrl 1
carhill Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Why do beautiful women date horrible men? I'd avoid connecting certain personality or psychological aspects to appearance. Personality and psychology varies as much in 'beautiful' people as it does in non-beautiful people. However, beautiful people are simply noticed more. That's all. 1
katiegrl Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) Not to get on your case, but any self-respecting woman would have a job and would want to contribute to the relationship with her boyfriend. At the very least contribute to doing at least some of the chores....and NOT allow her boyfriend to do it ALL, while she sits on her rear all day, in her PJs. Sheesh! The only reason I bring these things up deadelvis is because you have no right to judge other another couple's relationship....while there are many of us who could easily judge YOUR relationship as quite unbalanced and dysfunctional as well.... For different reasons but unbalanced and dysfunctional nevertheless. Their relationship is none of your business. If there is a relationship to be concerned about, it's your own....IMO. Edited August 18, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author deadelvis Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 When i see a guy gaslighting his wife or talking to her like she's an idiot it just makes me sick, especially when she's a sweet, gentle person. If she was some drunken sweathog screaming back at him it would be a lot easier to ignore, but when people are verbally abusive to their innocent partner it really disgusts me. 1
Author deadelvis Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) my girlfriend would stab me. no doubt about it. she doesn't mess around. I can't even imagine... I'm a big guy, but women are crazy. I've learned never to mess with a woman, especially a raging feminist. I've seen her twist off on people. It isn't pretty. God forbid that rage was directed at me. All the kung fu in the world won't protect you when you're sleeping Edited August 18, 2015 by deadelvis
katiegrl Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) my girlfriend would stab me. no doubt about it. she doesn't mess around. I can't even imagine... I'm a big guy, but women are crazy. I've learned never to mess with a woman, especially a raging feminist. I've seen her twist off on people. It isn't pretty. God forbid that rage was directed at me. All the kung fu in the world won't protect you when you're sleeping Wow your RL sounds worse than I thought! LOL Sorry! And why are you with her again? Between her not working, accepting money from you, allowing you to pay her bills, supporting her, allowing you to do ALL the chores, while she hangs in her PJs all day, and now this^^^.... she sounds like a real peach.... Edited August 18, 2015 by katiegrl
William Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Here's what I see as the topic: Why do beautiful women date horrible men? "What in the world would compel a woman to stay with a man like [the boss]? His money? If that's what she sees in him, aren't there plenty of younger, attractive and less terrible men who have money? The area where we live has plenty of successful younger men who aren't total cockroaches. Why would she stay with someone who is verbally abusive and has so little to offer besides money?" I scoured the starting post and see no reference to the thread starter or any potential relationship they may be involved in. Hence, we'll focus on the boss and his marriage and why beautiful women date horrible men, or not. Thanks in advance for your cooperation with this moderation directive.
katiegrl Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Apologies William. Okay, per William's directive, I will answer the question as stated in one of my earlier posts. >>>I know many women who will tolerate just about anything as long as her boyfriend/husband supports her, pays her bills, does all the chores and gives her money..... while she gets to lounge around all day doing nothing....except maybe watching TV, getting her hair and nails done, going to the beach, lunching with friends ..... or whatever else she feels like doing. 3
Popsicle Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I ask myself these sorts of questions everyday. The same happens with great men who are married to horrible women. Who knows what the answer is? You can't worry about it.
RedRobin Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 um, because beauty is something one is born with... character takes effort. Like another person said, not sure why so many people equate beauty with positive characteristics. It's called the Warren Harding effect, for anyone who cares to Google. 3
autumnnight Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I guess it depends on how one defines horrible. I consider shaming, obsessing, demeaning, name-calling, speaking about in a derogatory way, constant accusations of lying, etc. just as "horrible" as what this boss does. I consider putting all women into the same unflattering box kinda horrible. As to why women date horrible men.....I guess for some of the same reasons men sometimes date horrible women.
TouchedByViolet Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 The only reason I bring these things up deadelvis is because you have no right to judge other another couple's relationship....while there are many of us who could easily judge YOUR relationship as quite unbalanced and dysfunctional as well.... For different reasons but unbalanced and dysfunctional nevertheless. Their relationship is none of your business. If there is a relationship to be concerned about, it's your own....IMO. Of course you can judge other people's relationships. Ray Rice knocked his fiancee out and dragged her limp body out of an elevator. The public judged him and he received game suspensions even though she was ok with it and said don't judge our relationship. Im not sure where this weird distortion of political correctness began that nobody is allowed to judge you.... but it's a joke. You are judged for your relationship because it is a part of you and defines you. The type of SO you choose says a lot about you. The disprespect you take says a lot about you too. Some people are abusive, some are cheaters, some are stupid.... you will be judged by your peers for your decisions. Just because you get off from a disfuctional relationship doesn't mean it's right or I can't judge you for it. People are always finding ways to justify poor life/relationship decisions. Don't judge me is a defense mechanism. 2
Male Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 um, because beauty is something one is born with... character takes effort. Like another person said, not sure why so many people equate beauty with positive characteristics. It's called the Warren Harding effect, for anyone who cares to Google. Probably more commonly known as The Halo Effect, or Physical Attractiveness Stereotype. What Is the Halo Effect? Majority of persons are biased in a positive way towards people they find attractive, and or men that are tall. Look it up before you scoff at me. 1
elaine567 Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 men that are tall. Look it up before you scoff at me. Why on earth would we scoff at you? - tall men - good looking women. 1
Male Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Why on earth would we scoff at you? - tall men - good looking women. Because theres been MANY people on this very forum in the past that have disagreed and try to discredit me and others especially when it comes to the "tall guy" gets more dates and gets special treatment in our society. Women mostly act like shorter guys are just "making it all up" or just whining about their lack of success.
autumnnight Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I am not necessarily beautiful, but one of my close high school friends was/is. She used to complain about how the "pretty boys" mainly wanted to date her for arm candy. She ended up marrying a man who was not handsome, but he was an amazing guy. I think beautiful women have their own set of issues to deal with that go along with being beautiful, and they can be just as daunting, so they could be as susceptible to jerks as us normal women.
David2772 Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 It's super frustrating.. sometimes these guys are dicks, too.
autumnnight Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I'm not trying to poke at anything, just asking. Is the underlying...hope?Assumption?Frustration? due to the idea that if said beautiful woman wasn't with jerk, she would be with you? Like I said, not poking, but I am not sure why it is such a BIG source of angst for some men.
No Limit Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Let's believe for a moment that all your speculations about them are true; then there's only one big factor left - money. Maybe she gets off on the mere thought of his off-shore accounts etc. And young rich men might not be "cockroaches" but they also won't settle, so they're useless for someone who aims for a marriage. I find the habit of men being resentful of other men for having exceptionally attractive partners highly interesting though. There are many beautiful and single women out there - why does their relationship bother you?
Author deadelvis Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 I don't think my disgust comes from a place of envy or frustration. I have a beautiful woman of my own, and I wouldn't date my bosses wife even is she was single. She's not my type. Hell... if I really wanted to I could probably **** her on her desk while everyone is at lunch. But that's not something I have any interest in doing. I guess it just seems like such a waste of her life (or any other beautiful woman who marries a goblin) to stay with such a horrible guy.
katiegrl Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) Of course you can judge other people's relationships. Ray Rice knocked his fiancee out and dragged her limp body out of an elevator. The public judged him and he received game suspensions even though she was ok with it and said don't judge our relationship. Im not sure where this weird distortion of political correctness began that nobody is allowed to judge you.... but it's a joke. You are judged for your relationship because it is a part of you and defines you. The type of SO you choose says a lot about you. The disprespect you take says a lot about you too. Some people are abusive, some are cheaters, some are stupid.... you will be judged by your peers for your decisions. Just because you get off from a disfuctional relationship doesn't mean it's right or I can't judge you for it. People are always finding ways to justify poor life/relationship decisions. Don't judge me is a defense mechanism. I dunno Touched, I must be an anomoly then...because I really don't judge people...never have. I learned that from my dad, who rarely, if ever judged people either...and he taught me those same values. Do I have an opinion, sure, but I don't judge because I simply don't have all the facts to form a judgment, positive or negative. An opinion is different....in my opinion...lol Yes some men and women are abusive, etc and that is horrible. As to why their SO's stay with them....I don't know....people stay in relationships for all sorts of crazy reasons. They don't make sense to me personally, but hey, I have chosen to stay in my own fair share of crazy and what most people would deem dysfunctional relationships as well. And I had my own reasons for doing so, which frankly were no one else's business. That is truly how I feel. I realize I am out of the norm on that, which is fine with me. Edited August 19, 2015 by katiegrl 1
autumnnight Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 I have never encountered a single person online who, if one reads all of their posts, hasn't judged at least once. They just sometimes choose not to call it judgement 2
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