RoxStar Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 I have posted a few times under this topic because of my recent break. I have a question... How many of you would actually go back to the way it was? I was posed with that question yesterday and I personally wouldnt go back. First off too much has been destroyed at this point by his lies and secondly I wasnt all that happy to begin with. I guess I started the process back in March and started to detach myself so when he started up his bs in April and it was finally done its been easier to say to myself that this isnt ultimately what I wanted anyway. So what would you do. Go back knowing things arent going to change and that there were issues or go back, bust your butt to fix things you might not have any control over just to find out that its still going to end?
mixwell Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 I would go back if things changed... Overall in the relationship I was pleased with my ex.. She was very caring and loved me a lot.. anyways i moved out of state she dumped me and is with someone else now. I know if I hadn't moved out of state for 2 months we'd probly still be together.. Anyways I would take her back but we both would have to change a lot and respect each other.. Too bad we most likely wont get back together as the way things are goin..
ForsakenSoul Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Yes, Yes I do. It was only a 4 month relationship, and a fling at that, but I fell hard. I'd do anything to have her back in my life. -FS
SexKitten Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 i would never. i have never been broken up with, and i have never given an ex a second chance. they are exes for a reason.
EC Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Nope. I wouldn't go back. I would back over them with my car though
Marshbear Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Are you kidding? Do I have stupid written on my forehead????
NTB Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 as of right now yes i want her back and if we could have another go i know we could make it work but of things keeping going they way they are going with all she is doing, if you ask in me in a couple of months i am going to have to say no or maybe i am just confused at this stage in the game
flsgirl Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Hell no! I can only picture it now...married and living in ****hole with a dead-end job with someone who is a lazy mama's boy with no goals or aspirations. Sounds great! This is the guy I never thought I would get over. I wish I would have realized this back then when I spent a year and half trying to get over him. I would of saved a lot of money on the therapy I got too.
SexKitten Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by flsgirl Hell no! I can only picture it now...married and living in ****hole with a dead-end job with someone who is a lazy mama's boy with no goals or aspirations. Sounds great! i think we dated the same guy...
beejsea2 Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Six months ago when my ex took off, I would have taken him back in a heart beat. Now with all the stuff I found out about him and who he really is....NEVER!!!!!
Fallen_Angel Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Right now I'd say I'd go back in a heartbeat. I miss him so much, and we were so happy together. However, if he decides to come crawling back (!!!), I would tell him he has to be more honest with me regarding where he thinks our relationship is going. I hope someday I get to a point where I don't want him back.
blind_otter Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by flsgirl Hell no! I can only picture it now...married and living in ****hole with a dead-end job with someone who is a lazy mama's boy with no goals or aspirations. Sounds great! This is the guy I never thought I would get over. I wish I would have realized this back then when I spent a year and half trying to get over him. I would of saved a lot of money on the therapy I got too. What? Is he in jail now, because if so we dated the same guy.
UCFKevin Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 No way. I know what and who she's capable of doing and becoming. I'd be a fool to want that back.
SexKitten Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter What? Is he in jail now, because if so we dated the same guy. so you, me, and flsgirl...............who knew?! this guy got around!!!
dibdab Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 There is no way i would want to go back to her, and i am glad that i have come to this relization, because at least now i can begin too heal properly.
eastern_mystique Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Yes I would. We had a really great relationship and I was the happiest I've ever been in my life so far.
dgiirl Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Give me a few months to relocate and i'll let you know. I would love to go back to the first day I met him. But somehow that person is gone and I'm faced with this new person I really dont know, nor really care to anymore.
outdated Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 I would if we could over come the walls we had. We had a great relationship, and I was sad to see it go, but at the same time, I don't hate being single either.
BrotherAaron Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 I thought I wanted my ex back. Then she tried to come back, and I didn't want her anymore. I guess we all want what we think we can't have.
ErinErinErin Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Hmmm....this is a good question- as for myself- I would go back to my ex if he were the same person he was beofre we broke up (we broke up very suddenly and then he was a royal a**!!) He was a great and loving guy- but then he showedme anther side of him that I want nothing to do with.... So....if he was the way he was when we were in love then YES- but if he is the a**hole I know now then NEVER!!!
blind_otter Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron I thought I wanted my ex back. Then she tried to come back, and I didn't want her anymore. I guess we all want what we think we can't have. Word. My closest female friend has been having an on/off relationship with her exgirlfriend for almost 3 years. They have a horrid relationship when they are together, but then when one of them starts dating someone else the other always wants her back. It's a sick see-saw.
dgiirl Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by ErinErinErin So....if he was the way he was when we were in love then YES- but if he is the a**hole I know now then NEVER!!! lol i think we knew the same guy. I'm learning his caring loving persona was an illusion or vanished when I wasnt looking
Craig Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar How many of you would actually go back to the way it was? Asking a question like this is like asking if you put sour milk in the refridgerator today would you actually try and drink it tomorrow? I wouldn't go back, rarely I fantasize about how things could have been if we/me/she only did x differently but then the phone rings and I'm snapped back into reality.
ChuckDee33 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Yes I would like another opportunity with my ex gf. She broke up with me but I told her (after a looong time of grieving and being lured into the 'just friends' pit) that I realized something important: Why would I want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me? It doesn't make any sense to want to do that. I told her that all I ever wanted was the opportunity to try again with her, not really needing a commitment. So I let her know that I'm moving on because I have to and she would have to totally convince me that if she ever wanted to give us a second chance that it would have to be for the right reasons. Not because she is afraid of being alone, not because she couldn't find someone better, and not just because we miss and care for each other....but because she realized it was true love and it's worth the effort to try again with a new outlook on the relationship, knowing we both were going to put the effort into it to make it a whole new kind love. So yes, I would but only on that one condition. Otherwise it's just a complete waste of our time. If you are having trouble getting over an ex who left you just think of this: Let's say you just met a girl or guy who you'd like to date or possibly more. If you kept pursuing them and they obviously let you know they don't want to go out with you would you keep on trying or just find somebody else to pursue? Remember, why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?? That, to me, means you have little self-respect. I know I had very little of that for about 8 months... See, the answers to our problems here are very UN-complicated and based in a world of reality. Once we recognize this and go with it we will be a lot better off. I know it's not easy when you are sort of blinded by emotional pain and grief. But our paths are already laid out before us...we just have to clear away the mess to see it.
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