dkgwillow Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 This past week I posted about how shocked I was when my live in boyfriend of nearly two years suddenly and unexpectedly broke up with me. I thought we had nearly the perfect relationship and thought maybe he was panicking and just needed some time to think it over. Well, I waited and worried and cried, but he decided he was going to stand by his decision. So many friends said we seemed perfect together and asked if there could be another woman. I always said absolutely no way, he's not like that, famous last words. Today I decided to look for the truth, and boy did I find it. Tucked in the top of a cabinet in the garage was a notebook he'd taken on a business trip two weeks ago. Inside he'd written notes on what to say when he broke up with me, right down to the last word. On the second page were detailed notes on his conversations with the other woman and what he planned to say when they next met. From the looks of it they have known each other for some time, but had recently confessed their interest in each other and had even met up. He told her now he was single and they could finally see what they meant to each other. Of real interest to me was his statement that he felt he'd met someone he could spend his life with, the very words he'd said to me when we found this house less than two months ago. So friends, never say never. I wish them luck, no relationship started on the back of lies and cheating is ever really stable. It says a lot about both their characters and they deserve each other. Good riddance! 1
seasickpeeve Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Do you feel better knowing the truth or worse?
LoveIsMyReligion Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I'm sorry to hear about this, truly. I wouldn't waste anymore of your energy on him, time to focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy now that you know the truth. Take care
mightycpa Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I like that he took the time and trouble to think about what he'd tell you, even if it wasn't 100% true. He probably wanted to spare your feelings, which is noble, given that he has no more feelings for you. I also think it's a little weird that he wrote down what he wanted to say to a girl that he's interested in. Is he nerdy?
Author dkgwillow Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 I like that he took the time and trouble to think about what he'd tell you, even if it wasn't 100% true. He probably wanted to spare your feelings, which is noble, given that he has no more feelings for you. I also think it's a little weird that he wrote down what he wanted to say to a girl that he's interested in. Is he nerdy? He's very nerdy, shy and introverted. He doesn't have a lot of social skills, which is one thing I had to look beyond when we started dating. What I believed was he had a kind heart and good character, which is why I was so adamant to everyone that he was not the type to cheat.
Author dkgwillow Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) Do you feel better knowing the truth or worse? At first I felt better at finally knowing why he'd been so distant the previous month. He blamed the reason for the breakup on me, but I said that was easily fixable and you don't toss two years away with someone you love and planned a future with over something like that. I did ask if there was someone else because it's what everyone else kept saying or if maybe he'd just stopped loving me. Those things would hurt, but there were real reasons, not some silly thing most people deal with and move on from when they love each other. He absolutely denied there was anyone else and refused to say he didn't love me. That kept me in a state of hope for nearly a week, and when it didn't change the tears and pleading for the truth started. I couldn't humiliate myself anymore, but I knew there had to be more. It was a relief to find the reason, that he was focused on this woman he'd known before me and had either always stayed in contact with or reconnected with when he was having doubts about us. Then I was angry at being lied to and cheated on. I made the mistake last night of calmly telling him I knew about her. At first he denied all until I told him I'd found his notes. He refused to give me details of how long they'd communicated or why he valued the idea of what might be over us, but eventually after talking he said he honestly didn't know why he was suddenly unhappy in our relationship, he didn't know how he felt about me, and that he felt bad about everything. He didn't ask for another chance or say he wouldn't talk to her, so I know it's gone far enough that he's invested in it, and as much as I've loved him and wish this hadn't happened, I had to be honest with myself that after finding out he's capable of this kind of cruelty and deception I could never trust him. Edited August 18, 2015 by dkgwillow
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