Blobfather Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 So there is a girl who works for the same company as me (not the same office) and I thought we hit it off so I asked her out for some food, she said yes and said she was looking forward to it and we set a day and venue. So I waited five days and sent her a text asking how her weekend has been and then I was going to set a time to meet on the day we have planned(which is in a couple of days). However she hasn't replied to the text and its been about 6 hours. Do you think she is going to flake? I have seen that she has read my message and been online a few times since then.
LoveRefreshed Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 She could be busy and trying to figure out how to make it work. I don't know. I've been stood up before, and I've been ignored like this after concrete date plans. Always hard to tell until the day comes. If she flakes, then forget about her. I don't like flakes, so once they flake, they're dead to me. If they reach out, I turn them away afterwards. It usually makes them like me more :x such is life.
Redhead14 Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 So there is a girl who works for the same company as me (not the same office) and I thought we hit it off so I asked her out for some food, she said yes and said she was looking forward to it and we set a day and venue. So I waited five days and sent her a text asking how her weekend has been and then I was going to set a time to meet on the day we have planned(which is in a couple of days). However she hasn't replied to the text and its been about 6 hours. Do you think she is going to flake? I have seen that she has read my message and been online a few times since then. You waited 5 days to confirm the details of the date? I wouldn't be surprised if the date doesn't happen. If you make a date with a woman, nail down all the details -- day, time and place and confirm within a couple of days. Not only that, you've made a date, stay in contact, not 5 days. A couple of days even if it's just to say "how's your day going". 3
Author Blobfather Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Well we did have concrete plans (day, venue), just didn't confirm the precise time to meet. I've been travelling over over the last few days so really haven't had a chance to text. To be honest I would prefer to find out about how they are and how their week has been face to face. We aren't in a relationship so I don't see the need to text every day or anything.
Author Blobfather Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Do you think I should text again, asking if we are on for Thursday?
OMC Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Simple text. 'I am going to XXXX on Thursday @ xx:xx'oclock. Love to see you and buy your dinner' Then go regardless what her reply is...
Author Blobfather Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Don't you think I will look desperate?
xcupid Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Don't you think I will look desperate? Why do think this is desperate? This is showing interest in her. If she says no then you have your answer. If she says yes then enjoy the date.
LoveRefreshed Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I would hold off on texting her another time for a bit. I do think it would look insecure if you texted her again about where and when. On the night before or maybe the morning of you can send another one, but I wouldn't. If she doesn't get backed to you, I'd go straight for NC. I don't like flaky behavior and people who can't keep their word about meeting up, but that's me.
Diezel Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 On the night before or maybe the morning of you can send another one, but I wouldn't. If she doesn't get backed to you, I'd go straight for NC. I don't like flaky behavior and people who can't keep their word about meeting up, but that's me. I would second this idea.
Author Blobfather Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Yeah, this one is pretty frustrating as I liked her for a while. Don't really understand peoples behaviours sometimes, especially after she said she was looking forward to meeting and I made the arrangements.
Empyrea Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Well, here's a different experience for you. I made plans with a guy at the beginning of the week to go to the movies "sometime later in the week" - not a precise day fair enough, but kind of agreed for the activity and the weekend. And I was super into him, but a bit anxious about whether or not he felt the same. So since I had already agreed to this date, I kept waiting for him to bring it up again or confirm or set a precise time. But he just chatted about everyday stuff ("how was your weekend" ) and I was growing more and more worried that he would flake on me. I didn't want to bring it up myself, because I didn't want to come across as pushy. So by Friday I was already quite short with him in replying. We did end up going on Saturday, though, but I had completely given up hope by then as we were both kind of playing this insecure will (s)he/won't (s)he game. So in short, yes maybe she's flaking on you, but MAYBE she was confused by the 5 day silence followed by off-topic chatter. So I think you should man up and confirm your plans - if she flakes, so be it, I guess there was only lukewarm interest to begin with. But it's also possible that she's just waiting for you to confirm your plans so she can plan her manicure or whatnot. It's not like it's uncommon for men to flake after proposing a date either.
Bobbi7 Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 It kind of looks like she's flaking out, I mean you said she read your message and she's been online and its been a few hours...yeah, we can say she's "busy" but not too busy to go online?
Author Blobfather Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 Thanks guys for all the replies. So she still hasn't replied but I noticed she has found the time to change her profile picture. So it's pretty clear she is ignoring my text. So I'm thinking of sending a text tomorrow just asking if we are still on for the next day. But now I'm really not sure if I should even bother.
cessna Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I wouldn't bother. Don't give her the satisfaction. Don't feed her ego. She didn't have the decency to reply so you shouldn't waste another minute on this girl. She's a typical time waster. Probably loving the attention with no intention of meeting up. I've come across dozens of women like this. The excuse of being busy doesn't hold up either. It takes a few seconds to reply to a message. No one is ever that busy. Ever.
Lansing Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I would normally say "don't bother" but, I think it could be worth a shot so you won't ever wonder "what if she didn't get my last e-mail" or whatever. Ultimately, she is probably flakey and you can do better but if you want to give it a last shot I would either call her or invite her to a specific time/place and then go from there. One thing you could do is just ignore this round/don't contact her for that "date" that you were suppose to have since she didn't respond to your "how was your weekend message" and then just contact her the following week and ask her out during the week (not a weekend date).
Empyrea Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I think you should still contact her about the date that you two had agreed upon. If you don't, from her perspective you could be construed as just as much of a flake as you think she's being at the moment. "how was your weekend" is just filler chatter. She could have been too busy to give a proper reply when she saw it and forgot about it later. Because it's irrelevant and forgettable! Just say "hey are we still on for tomorrow, I could meet you around Xpm" or something. Then you'll know for sure. It's hardly any additional bother at this point, is it? Otherwise you'll always wonder. Keep us posted!
Author Blobfather Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) So I decided to text her again and just asked if everything was ok and if we were still on for Thursday, and if she couldn't make no worries. She texted back 'sorry for the late reply'. And that was it. Nothing else. Seriously. Is it really that hard to say she won't be able to make it?? Edited August 18, 2015 by Blobfather
Empyrea Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Wow okay that's really lame, I'm sorry. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Author Blobfather Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 Yeah it is lame. I'm actually more upset about the fact she can't even say she won't be able make it, than her not coming, if that makes any sense. Just seems weird.
Gary S Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 You waited 5 days to confirm the details of the date? I wouldn't be surprised if the date doesn't happen. If you make a date with a woman, nail down all the details -- day, time and place and confirm within a couple of days. Not only that, you've made a date, stay in contact, not 5 days. A couple of days even if it's just to say "how's your day going". - Redhead is right on the mark...... if you don't have a time, you really don't have a date.
Author Blobfather Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 I didn't realise things were so complicated. To be honest if I arrange to meet with someone on a certain evening, to me that is enough. The exact time is just a formality for me. Jeez, I'll get her to sign a contract next time.
Lansing Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Yeah it is lame. I'm actually more upset about the fact she can't even say she won't be able make it, than her not coming, if that makes any sense. Just seems weird. Yeah, can relate to what you said. A "no thanks" would be so much easier than the lame response she gave you!
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