EC Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Hi guys... I had a little concern and I thought maybe you guys could help me out. Lets start of with the fact that yeah my daddy is a little baby making machine. He has been in and out of my life for ever and has 6 other children by 6 other women. Hes not the best father in the world. He used to have a drug problem and is not the best to his women. He used to beat them and cheat on all of them. Well he finally settled down with a nice girl. Hes 40 and she is 26. They have been dating for about 2 years now. Her family hates him ( don't blame them) and now because of them she has separated herself from her family and has no one but him. She also quit her good job to help my dad with his business. He has cheated on her in the past and she is still dealing with that. Well surprise surprise my dad made her prego and she had a little girl about 2 days ago. My half sister. Well I went to visit her and the baby yesterday and well she isn't doing to well. She cries for no reason and feels impatient, irritable, restless, anxious, lonely, and sad. She feels really sad. She is constantly crying and is dying to get out of the house. Its only been 2 days and she thought it had been a week and was even more depressed when I told her it had only been two days. This is her first baby and she is home alone with it because her family wont help her and she had no friends. She is scared to even touch the baby because its so small. My dad has to work all day and when he comes home he is tired and just wants to sleep. (hes not the best help) and so she’s really depressed. She thinks he is out cheating again instead of working and when I walked in yesterday the minute we walked in the door she was in tears and screamed at him that she knew he thought she was fat and ugly and that he was never going to have sex with her again. She is tripping. I mean I have heard of baby blues but shes doing bad. I have never met my other fathers children or women but I have met her and I have grown attached to her and now to the baby. I was my dads only girl the rest have been boys until now that she had a baby girl and she looks just like me. Im really scared that she will go into deep depression and hurt herself or the baby. How can I help her?
brashgal Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Volunteer to watch the baby, let her go out, even if it is just to the grocery store to escape for a little while. Some people flip out more due to hormones than others - if you can check on her periodically, that would be good and if her craziness continues, encourage her (or your father) to get help.
blind_otter Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 My older sister had really bad PPD (post partum depression) and hallucinated that ants were crawling all over her baby. SHe was temporarily put on antidepressants, did much better and after about 3 months got off them and was ok. I also had REALLY bad PPD after my first miscarriage in 2002, and I had to get on antidepressants then, as well. She needs to talk to her OB/GYN.
CurlyIam Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Nothing quite like reality smacking you in the face! Maybe having a child made her more realstic, more down to Earth. No offence, but I'd be scared as hell aslo to be having the baby of a man with your dad's traits of character . Try to be there for her, make her go to the doc and maybe get some counselling. I'd hate for her to jump to pill straight away, there are so many dangerous products on the market... I think all she needs is support and and a couple of friends. Call some of her old pals, make her feel like she didn't lose everything/
Debster Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Postpartum depression is actually pretty common. It can range from mild to pretty severe. In the recent People Magazine, Brooke Shields was talking about her postpartum and how she was at times suicidal. If it continues, I'd recommend she talk to her doctor.
Naive Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Congrats on the little sister!!! Anyway, you sould help her out as much as you can. If you see something that is real serious then maybe she should go to a doctor. If it is more serious tell your dad and have him take her to the doc. Congratulations again on your little sister
blind_otter Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam I'd hate for her to jump to pill straight away, there are so many dangerous products on the market... I think all she needs is support and and a couple of friends. Call some of her old pals, make her feel like she didn't lose everything/ It's hormonal, not emotional. As soon as the pregnancy horomones balance out and leave her system she should be fine. That's the clinical definition of PPD. If she continues to be depressed 3+ months post partum, then it could be situational or clinical depression, in which case talk therapy would be recommended. In my case, since I had a history of severe PPD after my first miscarriage, my OB put me on birth control pills to level out my hormones right after I lost the second baby and it cleared up my PPD right away. This is not recommended for women who are breast-feeding though, as I think it can dry up the milk.
Author EC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 So I texted her today with : " Hey you, I hope you are feeling better. I know its hard right now but just remember you are not alone and things will get easier, and in the end you have a best friend for life. Give Marie Kisses for me." She wrote back: " You have no Idea how much that message meant to me today. Thank you for taking the time to think about us. I'm so happy you are going to be a part of her life. She needs a good sister. She send kisses too." So I feel better. I know shes lonely. I will hopefully see her this weekend and watch my sis for her so she can take a break. Thanks Naive. She is soooooo cute She looks just like me and has my nose!!! I wish I knew how to post the pictures?
Naive Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by EC Thanks Naive. She is soooooo cute She looks just like me and has my nose!!! I wish I knew how to post the pictures? You are very welcome I hope you can post the pictures at least as an avatar!!!! I bet you see yourself in her huh? Thankfully your Step-mom feels better (sounds weird since she is young ). With your help I am sure she will get better.
RecordProducer Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 I was also very depressed in the first few days after the delivery. The first week is terrible. She needs physical, emotional, and medical help. If you help her in the first week or two she will be grateful to you for the rest of her life and you will have a real sister in this baby. You will enjoy it and she will feel much better because of your company, especially since the age difference between the two of you is just a few years. You will also learn a lot about babies and being a mom. You need to convince her to re-attach to her family. Maybe you could call them and tell her mom that she became a grandmother. I assure you she will arrive right away to see her grandchild. She also needs to see a therapist, because she feels emotionally unstable and this is a very hard period for her given that she just had a baby.
moimeme Posted May 28, 2005 Posted May 28, 2005 Number one solution in a case such as this is to RUSH this person back to her physician. No 'wait and see'. No 'if she's not better in three months'. Anyone this badly off that soon needs intervention immediately. This post is a couple weeks old - if she's not better, then definitely she needs to get to her doctor and tell the doc about all the symptoms.
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