phineas Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Mmm ... not true! Maybe for men it's different, but women can for sure participate in sex while blacked out. Just because you're blacked out doesn't mean you're so drunk you can't function, it just means you can't remember what you did; those around you can't actually tell that you're blacked out. The first time I blacked out, my roommate told me that I chatted up a couple of dudes and then she and I went and got pizza. I have ZERO memory of this happening, but apparently I was fully-functioning the whole time. Blacked out drunk guys usually can't get hard enough for sex. Usually. but OP didn't tell us how her BF's state of dress or undress was. If he was blackout drunk I doubt he put his clothes back on.
HereNorThere Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 As the name suggests, I'd burn that bridge and never look back. Actually, first I'd **** one of his friend, then never look back. I like your style
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 1. He gets HUGE points for calling you up and telling you - you likely would never have known otherwise. Incredible moral integrity. Plus, it's such a good sign that when something horrible happens he turns to you right away. 2. Alcohol is not an excuse. True, but there's a deeper layer. His 'sin' was to drink too much. I think we can be clear, from his horrified reaction in the morning, that he didn't realize that drinking too much would have this result. Poor judgement, to say the least. But he's young - it's very common to not understand how dangerous alcohol is at that age. It was wrong - but it's not the same kind of wrong as if he planned out to have a fling and keep it a secret. 3. As someone who's experienced binge drinking in my youth, he DID NOT have sex with her, be sober enough to get dressed afterward, and have a blackout. He drank himself into a stupor and fell unconscious. Trust me on this. 4. Point #1, repeated. In every couple's life there are stressors & conflicts. Sexual fidelity is *way* easier than parenting together, losing a job, arguing about moving for a new job, caring for mom with Alzheimer's, etc. Situations arise often where it's tempting to sneak something by your spouse. This guy has just proven he will never do that. You cannot imagine what a fantastic thing it is to have that level of trust in your partner. We all screw up sometimes. He's proven to you that when he does he will suck it up and make it right. In your (quite justified) anger about the event, don't forget to tell him you do appreciate his integrity. My two cents. Take it for what it's worth and do what's right for you.
Fleur de cactus Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 If he did not tell you, you would not find out, and if you would it would be too late. He was honest with you. Let him explain what happened, give him another chance. 1
abby_tx Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 You have to decide if you're willing to forgive and forget. If you can't, you'll both end up miserable. Dump him.
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