Jimmyjackson Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 He was very non committal in his words all the time. The clues were there. him - 'i love you' 'are you in love with me?' 'i don't know what the difference is' 'oh come on!' 'well saying it would be a bit of a risk' 'thats what people in love do!' 'ok then, I must be' and me - 'I think I want children in the future. Do you think you want to...with me?' 'yeah maybe if the time was right. I'd love to have children with you' A month later... him - 'I'm not bothered about having children' 'really? never?' 'maybe I will. I dunno' and him - 'I think we should live together and be a proper couple' 'ok. do you like this house?' 'no' 'this one?' 'no' 'but I thought you wanted to live together?!' 'it has to be the right house' The signs were there looking back but I was/am in love and held onto the breadcrumbs. My excuse was I was in love. Love makes fools of us all. I have no idea what his excuse could be. Why would somebody do that?! It's the hardest thing. I'm still so confused. I have no idea why he was with me so long just throwing out breadcrumbs all over the place! Keep looking back and the signs will appear more obvious. Try not to fixate on who he was and rather who he is now.
carolinek7 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Hi hun, I completely understand your dilemma. I am going through the same. What did you decide to do in the end?
Author seasickpeeve Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 I deleted it. It wasn't easy, I don't know if it was for the best in terms of future stuff like possibly becoming friends but it was the best for the present moment.....and that what counts. You have to do what will work for you right now to help with healing. It helped me put distance between us in my mind and it helps not seeing his stupid pic pop up on the chat. I also knew I didn't want to see and pics of him with anybody else and I didn't want to see him going out and having an amazing single life. So yeah, it had to be delete!
Author seasickpeeve Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 Strangely the day after I deleted my ex from fb, H walked past me in the street....well he walked in front of me. He looked very quickly and then turned away. I felt really glad that I had deleted him because if he can't look at me and say hi in person, why would I want him to have access to my pics and any updates about me? Why would I want to stay kind and interested in somebody who isn't kind and interested in me? You just have to become ok with the fact that not everybody likes each other, not everybody gets on, not everyone can stay friends and instead of worrying whether people....ex's....like you it's more important to answer 'do I like them?!' My answer was, after how he ended things, no I don't even like him. I'm allowed to not like someone and not e friends with someone who treated me badly
carolinek7 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 My answer was, after how he ended things, no I don't even like him. I'm allowed to not like someone and not e friends with someone who treated me badly Agreed! I hope that I will have your courage soon and I hope that it makes me feel good too. Well done, I am happy that you are feeling stronger and that you are healing day by day. At the moment I am in the horrible Facebook/Whatsapp 'stalkery' phase since he dumped me and it is exhausting. I try my best to not think about it but since the dumping came out of the blue and I haven't had any closure I am trying to seek answers from anywhere I can. It is futile and so tiring. Until this morning I was prepared to jump on a flight to Italy to talk it through with him...
Author seasickpeeve Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 How long since he was in touch with you? It's tempting to keep the social media lines open in case he wants to speak to you but for how long is up to you to decide. I decided quite soon on that future contact can be thought about in the future but at the moment you are in a crisis and need to look after yourself and think only about the now. Blocking/deleting helps you look after yourself. It doesn't mean you can't ever open those lines of contact in the future if you wanted to. Thats what calmed me enough to delete. And with he distance from this you'll regain some control, some rational thought and possibly never want to speak to the guy again! Thanks for being kind by the way
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