heather03 Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 My ex recently came back from studying abroad and I agreed to see him, and immediately it was like nothing ever happened even though I hadn't seen him in 6 months. We've seen each other a few days in a row now and he's told me that he's really trying to win me back. We used to have a lot of communication issues but we're working on that now, and have been very open with each other about our feelings and what not throughout this whole process. We ended up hooking up one night, and last night I ended up staying over after it got too late out and we cuddled and kissed all night. I had to tell him in the morning that I'm still not sure about my feelings and am not sure if I want to jump into something serious just yet, and he said he's a little confused but understands and just wants me to do whats best for me and what makes me happy. He's been very open and understanding with me this past week, way more than when we were in a relationship. But for some reason I find so many things holding me back and not sure if this is what I really want. He's a great guy, very understanding and has never been mean to me not even once throughout our relationship. My family is really really against us getting back together because of how he treated me during the break up and they think he left me to study abroad, which isn't really the case but I guess they have a point. My feelings have also been so mixed...sometimes when we're together I don't see us getting back together, and then sometimes when we have really deep discussions and talks I still have feelings for him. Is it worth another shot if he's trying so hard to get me back?
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Only you know how you feel. Examine why you broke up. If those issues have been resolved, you could try again. If they are still there you will only be dredging up the same BS. Why bother? You probably have mixed feelings because you are still not over what you view as a betrayal. He left to travel & you still resent him for that. You fail to understand that if you forced him to stay in time your relationship still would have ended because he would have resented you for making him miss this opportunity.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Was he the one that dumped you? Did he drop off the face of the earth when he was gone? If the answer is yes to both I would definitely try to close the chapter of your life that involves him. Deep down you must know something is wrong and by ignoring these feelings I can assure you they will come back up. I am firm believer in what your intuition "gut" tells you.. There have been way too many bad situations/relationships that I could have avoided if I had just listened to my gut. Instead I buried those feelings only to suffer even more so in the long run.
Author heather03 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 Was he the one that dumped you? Did he drop off the face of the earth when he was gone? If the answer is yes to both I would definitely try to close the chapter of your life that involves him. Deep down you must know something is wrong and by ignoring these feelings I can assure you they will come back up. I am firm believer in what your intuition "gut" tells you.. There have been way too many bad situations/relationships that I could have avoided if I had just listened to my gut. Instead I buried those feelings only to suffer even more so in the long run. Far from it..I broke up with him because he wanted to study abroad and didn't want to do long distance again. Even though he was hurt at first he kept in contact with me, pretty much texting me every other week to see how I was. It feels natural to me to be around him but I don't know if I feel that spark when I'm around him. Maybe this is because I've only seen him three times after a 6 month period, and also my family is very against us getting back together.
mightycpa Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Far from it..I broke up with him because he wanted to study abroad and didn't want to do long distance again. Even though he was hurt at first he kept in contact with me, pretty much texting me every other week to see how I was. It feels natural to me to be around him but I don't know if I feel that spark when I'm around him. Maybe this is because I've only seen him three times after a 6 month period, and also my family is very against us getting back together.Sounds like you feel familiarity and comfort instead. Not a great basis for a new start, is it? I think you two can date, but don't date exclusively unless you really want it. Be up front about that too, he might decide that it isn't worth the emotional investment in you.
Author heather03 Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 Sounds like you feel familiarity and comfort instead. Not a great basis for a new start, is it? I think you two can date, but don't date exclusively unless you really want it. Be up front about that too, he might decide that it isn't worth the emotional investment in you. Yeah, you're right. I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now, especially with him. I've told him this (not the especially with him part) and he understands but I dont know if he fully understands. He says he's confused and he's trying really hard to get me back; he contacts me constantly and always trying to see me and what not. I just feel like its all too soon, but I dont know how to tell him this, and I dont want to get his hopes up, which I've told him many times already.
lauri Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 Yeah, you're right. I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now, especially with him. I've told him this (not the especially with him part) and he understands but I dont know if he fully understands. He says he's confused and he's trying really hard to get me back; he contacts me constantly and always trying to see me and what not. I just feel like its all too soon, but I dont know how to tell him this, and I dont want to get his hopes up, which I've told him many times already. Your ex doesn't see it because he is doing everything in his power to get you back. He's making a lot of rookie mistakes trying to rush back to you this quick and not giving it time. Sorry to say, I think you're already starting to process to end thing with him. Everything I've highlighted here shows me that you are not that into him. There is nothing wrong with that and for that reason I think you should end it ahead of time. If I was dating / trying to date a girl and she told me these things, I'd probably start to move on myself because I'd know she just isn't that into me. Don't worry about hurting him - you'll only make it worse the longer you go.
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