walkingonair Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 For example can an emotionally unavailable man develop feelings for a woman but still act emotionally unavailable and treat the girl as if he doesn't have feelings for her? If so, how does an emotionally unavailable person act when they do develop feelings for someone?
Jules Dash Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 If you feel that the man is emotionally unavailable, I wouldn't waste my time. It is just not worth it. You have to be careful not to get caught up in the challenge of trying to win him over. Although it is really complicated, yes he can. Does that mean he will start throwing roses at at your feet, making you a bubble bath and massaging your back in the evening? Not necessarily and probably not. 2
LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Emotionally unavailable people are exactly that, and will not develop feelings for someone. If you are even thinking this, you are asking for heart ache. If you want to know, you pull back and make your self scarce. If they are available, they will pursue. Even then, you need to be careful, as a lot of us think it's a good idea to be available, but things trigger us to close up and you'll be right back where you started. 2
RoseVille Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Emotionally unavailable people are exactly that, and will not develop feelings for someone. If you are even thinking this, you are asking for heart ache. If you want to know, you pull back and make your self scarce. If they are available, they will pursue. Even then, you need to be careful, as a lot of us think it's a good idea to be available, but things trigger us to close up and you'll be right back where you started. I don't agree with any of this. Emotionally unavailable people can and do develop feelings. It's when they actually do that they disappear. Until then, they act and behave like they care, when they really don't yet, if ever. But once they do, they will just go poof, as the idea of being vulnerable is unacceptable to them. Emotionally unavailable people are also often people who enjoy the thrill of the chase. So if you pull back, they'll give chase. But once they catch you, they'll let you go. 2
LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I don't agree with any of this. Emotionally unavailable people can and do develop feelings. It's when they actually do that they disappear. Until then, they act and behave like they care, when they really don't yet, if ever. But once they do, they will just go poof, as the idea of being vulnerable is unacceptable to them. Emotionally unavailable people are also often people who enjoy the thrill of the chase. So if you pull back, they'll give chase. But once they catch you, they'll let you go. You said you didn't agree with any of me, but basically said the same thing. If we do develop feelings, we run away. Also, unavailable people are unavailable. Stop thinking you're going to change it. 1
RoseVille Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 You said you didn't agree with any of me, but basically said the same thing. Disagree, again. You said the exact opposite of what I did in the post I quoted. You said they're not capable of having feelings; they most definitely are. If we do develop feelings, we run away. Also, unavailable people are unavailable. Stop thinking you're going to change it. This is where you agree with me. 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 I don't agree with any of this. Emotionally unavailable people can and do develop feelings. It's when they actually do that they disappear. Until then, they act and behave like they care, when they really don't yet, if ever. But once they do, they will just go poof, as the idea of being vulnerable is unacceptable to them. Emotionally unavailable people are also often people who enjoy the thrill of the chase. So if you pull back, they'll give chase. But once they catch you, they'll let you go. Thanks for your answers guys! Hmm interesting, but why do they run away/disappear when they actually care and do develop the feelings?
xcupid Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 What is your definition of an emotionally unavailable man? 2
LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Fine, we're capable of having feelings, but the minute we get them, we run away. We do it, because we don't like to feel vulnerable. Ever been hurt by someone you love? Well when it was your mother, your father, your first love, and everyone in between... you stop wanting to feel that. So the minute we do sense it, it happens. We don't control it. It hurts and it sucks. It's isolating and makes us feel so damn lonely and angry. We're angry because we stop ourselves from getting what we ultimately want. 2
Author walkingonair Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 Fine, we're capable of having feelings, but the minute we get them, we run away. We do it, because we don't like to feel vulnerable. Ever been hurt by someone you love? Well when it was your mother, your father, your first love, and everyone in between... you stop wanting to feel that. So the minute we do sense it, it happens. We don't control it. It hurts and it sucks. It's isolating and makes us feel so damn lonely and angry. We're angry because we stop ourselves from getting what we ultimately want. Thanks for your answer! So when you do get that love feeling an you realize you actually care for someone you sometimes respond to them with anger and react in an unloving way?
LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 No. I emotionally close myself off. I distance myself. I close it off and make it less personal when we meet. If I feel I opened up to someone too much, I usually fade on them. Friends or girls, doesn't matter. Being mean to someone is just someone being an *******. 1
Author walkingonair Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 No. I emotionally close myself off. I distance myself. I close it off and make it less personal when we meet. If I feel I opened up to someone too much, I usually fade on them. Friends or girls, doesn't matter. Being mean to someone is just someone being an *******. Ohhh I see. I understand But when the person stops giving you attention and also distances from you, you don't ever want to get closer? or you just move on from the person and never reach out to them?
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