I come here everytime i have a break up & i have never gotten any of them back lol

[WiselyNaive]

I realize every break up i sing the same tune..i come here and ask you guys if you think i have a chance...sometimes i get them back for a short time and i forget all about this then im back when its over for good, in fact i use this as a move on mark, i know im finally moving on when i stop posting on here..but here i am again:

I would consider it a "short" but intense relationship...we have spent almost ever day together since we first started hanging out during the first week of January (7 mos thought i met him years prior went on a date once when i was around 18, im 22 now)....we have seen each other almost every day apart from a few arguments where we never stopped talking for more than 1-3 days tops (mostly by my persistence)...there was a point where we felt like we lived together cause he slept over daily. we discussed kids & marriage which a few weeks ago he said he no longer wanted. He cheated on me early in our relationship and when i found out he begged me to stay...i did take him back (obviously) and at first things were good...up until the last 2+ months....we broke up or almost broke up weekly. Tables turned he was withdrawing i felt like i was chasing...and yesterday (his birthday) seemed to be the climax.

 

he broke up with me a week or 2 prior (longest) but still was in constant contact i didnt take the break up seriously and slept with him....he treated me like a gf we went out in public, we were exclusive until one day he picks a silly argument because i asked him about another girl (claims i should have to ask because he has been completely faithful since), i react, then he says "are we even together?" which hurt, & leads to a conversation the eve of his birthday. he begged me to leave it till the day after his birthday and i didn't cause i wanted to get over it before his birthday so we could enjoy it..i pushed it, i wanted to talk about it the day before his birthday, after resistance he obliges the "what are we" conversation...he tells me (for the first time even though we had "broken up" a lot in the past 2 months that he was done for good & we have zero chance of a future...it was weird because all the times before he would always say he saw a future still just cant be together now or if i listen to him more it would be good...or even "i dont know the future" but this time he said it clearly never having a relationship again, never having sex again. it shocked me. ultimately we had plans on his birthday & then i did exactly what he didnt want, i called him on his birthday and ended up asking about what he had said about no relationship ...bad move...he blocked me for the second time ever during our relationship (first time lasted less than a day)...didnt speak to me for his birthday at all...still has me blocked and said he wasn't going to unblock me

 

i know our relationship has issues due to the recent increase of arguments but when i took him back all the promises were made and i really believed we had a future...i looked at the arguments as a rough patch we'd get over

 

the reason i'm even debating this is, though never to this extent he has lead me to believe it was over for good before and totally switched up, i'm 90% sure he still has feelings for me...but because he hasnt acted like this before...& the blocking & his conviction i fear he is serious...I'm more scared of him never speaking to me/unblocking me than i am about never being with him again...its only been one day...the idea of being cut off by him is frightening...even if we cannot be together i would really want a line of communication to him, but i fear i may have pushed him too far

 

based on what i said any advice? does this seem like a situation where he will actually stick to his word and never unblock me?

[Yummm]

Sweetie by the sounds of it, it was a toxic relationship. You needed out..

 

He cheated on you in the early stages of the relationship? You almost broke up weekly? This isn't healthy. You want kids right? You say he doesn't want marriage and kids.

 

Actions speak louder than words, I was told many things about marriage, kids and future and still got dumped to the curb.

 

I know this is not the advice you want to hear, but I think it's best if he keeps you blocked so you can really move on.

 

You know the drill, you'll find someone better

[d0nnivain]

Read a book entitled They Call It a Break-up Because It's Broken.

[WiselyNaive]

Sweetie by the sounds of it, it was a toxic relationship. You needed out..

 

He cheated on you in the early stages of the relationship? You almost broke up weekly? This isn't healthy. You want kids right? You say he doesn't want marriage and kids.

 

Actions speak louder than words, I was told many things about marriage, kids and future and still got dumped to the curb.

 

I know this is not the advice you want to hear, but I think it's best if he keeps you blocked so you can really move on.

 

You know the drill, you'll find someone better

 

sorry he still wants kids & marriage, he just doesn't want them as quickly as he did before...(at least that's the story)

 

but yea i know it became toxic but my main concern is kind of the cutting me off....you can end a toxic relationship and still have an open line....there is something so wicked to me about being blocked...like you slept with me and told me you loved me 2 nights before...

[WiselyNaive]

Read a book entitled They Call It a Break-up Because It's Broken.

will look into it thank you

[ExpatInItaly]

Good heavens, why would you want him to unblock you? He needs to be out of your life. Screw keeping communication open. That's the least of the worries here.

 

All the arguments and break-ups were no rough patch; the whole relationship was rough and riddled with problems from almost the beginning. It was clearly not a good match. Why didn't you end it sooner?

 

There is a dramatic difference between love and codependency.

[Satu]

Snip

 

*you can end a toxic relationship and still have an open line....there is something so wicked to me about being blocked...like you slept with me and told me you loved me 2 nights before...

 

*I don't think that you can. All it can bring you is another dose of the toxin.

[Morphine]

My ex broke up with me after 7 years (now she wants to get back together 1 month after a break up, to which I said no). I have learnt a lot through my relationship...never step into the same river twice!

 

Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but there are very few. But if you are a DUMPEE - forget the DUMPER and move on.