LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Was suppose to meet a girl from OLD on Thursday. I showed up, she didn't. No message, no OKC message, nothing. Want to tell her off, but thinking I should just block her. I hate the inconsiderate bull****. Do you think she got cold feet last minute or is it possible she was a catfish or a fake profile? To add, I sent her a verification message day of, and she never responded to it. I should have known to not go and waste my time, but I wasn't sure if she just didn't respond and was still going or not.
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Who knows? Don't waste more time. She's untrustworthy. I like closure so I'd probably send a message like I was at [the appointed place at the appointed time] You were a No Show. I hope everything is OK with you but based on your failure to even give me the courtesy of an explanation, I don't think we have a future. Best wishes in your endeavors but I'm outta here. 2
Author LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 I wanted to write something like that, but it ended being more of a harsh tone. Telling her it was extremely rude, inconsiderate and dishonest and hope that karma pays back people like her. It shows a lack of integrity and I'd no longer be interested, etc... So I didn't send it. Maybe I'll copy/paste your exact message. 1
GemmaUK Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I wouldn't ever send that kind of message. It would mean I'm showing it affected me and this many days later too. I find the message passive aggressive. Karma goes both ways. You did send a message before the date, non response to that would have stopped me from turning up. Why lower your own integrity by being snarky? You can't control what anyone else does but you can control yourself. 1
Bobbi7 Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Yeah, I would have just ignored it and never sent a message, it sucks getting stood-up and all, she is a stranger, someone that you never met in person and its better to not show any anger and give her the satisfaction.
aloneinaz Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I wouldn't ever send that kind of message. It would mean I'm showing it affected me and this many days later too. I find the message passive aggressive. Karma goes both ways. You did send a message before the date, non response to that would have stopped me from turning up. Why lower your own integrity by being snarky? You can't control what anyone else does but you can control yourself. I agree. If I sent a confirmation message the day of and had no response? I wouldn't of gone. I also wouldn't waste 5 seconds sending that person a message. You need to have alligator skin when dating. It's no different than having what we thought was a great date, then following up with them the next day or two and getting silence.. You're going to meet people while dating that don't always have the best communication skills. I let them actions do there speaking..
Author LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 Well, I didn't ask her if she was still going. It was more of a "See you at 7! Looking forward to meeting you in person!" It was a way out for her actually, as she could have easily said she couldn't make it. So I went and had a tasty beer by myself. I haven't sent the message, and it seems more people are against any kind of message whatsoever. I'm not thinned skinned. I can handle rejection and slow fades. It's more of the inconsideration of a no show. Even with my friend, if they say they will be some place and never show up, that friend goes on a **** list with me. I don't invite them to do things any longer. I have a huge issue with the lack of integrity with commitments. If I say I will be some place, to a friend, a nobody, a girl I want to get with... come hell or high water, I am there. It's just who I am and what I expect. I guess it serves nothing to tell them off. People like that will never change and always be ****ty people, regardless. 1
carhill Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Sorry to read that, OP. I don't think, in 20+ years of dating, that I ever had a no-show. Delays, yup. A few reschedules in advance, but no stood-ups that I can recall. However, knowing the vagaries of dating from a lot of experience, I always had a plan B. Generally, when asking a lady out on a date, I would offer to meet her or take her to a restaurant I had long experience with and enjoyed and usually knew the owners personally. That way, if the date went sideways, I could enjoy a meal alone, something I often did anyway, and grab some chat at the bar before heading home. That was typical. I get how this kind of stuff can make us angry; examine that. Where does that anger come from? IME, expectations. We expect people to keep their commitments, especially if/when we 'like' them. When they don't, we seethe With enough disappointment in life, one develops an attitude about it. For myself, it took awhile but finding humor in the actions of others helped diffuse any seething. Of course, a crisp margarita didn't hurt. Consider this one done, the message acknowledged, don't send it and move on.
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