regdent Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 This girl and I had our first date a little less than a month ago, and we have gone on three dates thus far. I think she's great and has a lot going for her. We went down on each other on our third date. I knew she was really into me even after our third date. A few days after our third date, she texted me one night, "Where are you? I wanna go home instead and **** you." However, things have changed since I went to her pool party exactly a week ago... I got to meet two of her female friends (one from high school, the other from college) there. I think her high school friend did not like me that much. I did not like her at all, either. I thought she was a rude girl with not much going for her. I am pretty sure she didn't talk to the girl of my interest all that nicely about me. In the last seven days, she has not initiated the contact once. Her texts became less flirtatious. I did not text her much during the time span to seem not too eager. The night before the pool party (8 days ago), we had agreed to go hiking today (Sunday afternoon). When I texted her three days ago, she did not cancel on me. Tonight (saturday night), however, she texted me, "I'm so sorry to cancel on you, but ___ and ___ are both leaving this week and so they asked to hang out tomorrow. They're my best friends, so I need to see them before they take off." I did not respond to her text, but I am so disheartened by this. I wish I had not gone to the pool party... Should I give up now? Or maybe hit her up out of the blue in about 5-6 days?
madjac74 Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 People cancel. I suppose it is a shock when you are a boy but it happens a lot. Things come up. If you make a big issue of it then you will not have her "going down on you" again.
Gaeta Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I think she is just busy with her friends. If they are leaving soon just be patient and see how things unfold with her from Monday. 1
katiegrl Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Dude, according to your last three threads about this chick (which were recently merged into one), she has a long distance boyfriend who "she's been dating awhile." So what are you doing? You said when you found out she had a boyfriend, you were done with her! Forget about her, she has a boyfriend!
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 She cancelled a hiking date to hang out with her friends who are leaving. That is all the info you have. You think they don't like you but you don't know that. You have absolutely no evidence. Perhaps you were bad in bed. Perhaps she really does want to spend time with her friends. Perhaps she decided it is too hot to hike. Perhaps she's wondering why you texting her this week seems to have gone down. You said it's so you don't seem too eager but she doesn't know that & may have concluded that you are no longer into her. Especially because the amount of your texts was reduced after you had some type of sex with her, she may be terrified that you are dumping her because you think she is easy. Ever consider this from her perspective? No of course you didn't. Simmer down. See if she calls this week after her friends leave. If she does no, do reach out in a few days so that she doesn't conclude you were only after one thing.
katiegrl Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I disagree with the others. It has been ONE MONTH since your third date. You were anxious and fearful she was going to cancel ....(gut feeling? She has a boyfriend?). That fear has materialized, and she did cancel. I don't think this has anything to do with her friends. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, I just don't think she's all that into you, sorry. If she were into you, after waiting one month since your last date, she would not be able to wait any longer to see you. Not cancel to see her friends!
Author regdent Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 Please disregard the "merged" thread. The moderator screwed up. They were not supposed to be merged. About a month ago, I was into this girl who has a long-distance boyfriend. She's great and all, but I have given up on trying to date that one. I wised up and decided that it's best to be just friends. Then, I met a different girl. Our third date happened 9 days ago. I have known this one for about 4 weeks now. The pool party I went to happened 7 days ago. I think I will heed d0nnivain's advice. I will contact her in 3 days or so to see if she's still down to do a date. Do girls sometimes act less interested after being sexual to make the guy work harder?
Gaeta Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Do girls sometimes act less interested after being sexual to make the guy work harder? Yes, but not to make the man work harder. Sometimes we lose interest after sex because we didn't particularly like it with him.
xcupid Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 She could be influenced by her friends' opinion and/or the fact that she has a boyfriend if that's the case. She seems hot and cold about things - coming on strong then backing away. Her reason for canceling could be legitimate. Give it another try and see what happens. If it's a no go then move on and don't waste any more time.
katiegrl Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Please disregard the "merged" thread. The moderator screwed up. They were not supposed to be merged. About a month ago, I was into this girl who has a long-distance boyfriend. She's great and all, but I have given up on trying to date that one. I wised up and decided that it's best to be just friends. Then, I met a different girl. Our third date happened 9 days ago. I have known this one for about 4 weeks now. The pool party I went to happened 7 days ago. I think I will heed d0nnivain's advice. I will contact her in 3 days or so to see if she's still down to do a date. Do girls sometimes act less interested after being sexual to make the guy work harder? Okay, thanks for clarifying. Frankly, all those threads did sound like the same girl. Confusing. Anyhoo, when she cancelled, did she suggest another time to get together?
Author regdent Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 Yes, but not to make the man work harder. Sometimes we lose interest after sex because we didn't particularly like it with him. I see. We did not get to have a full intercourse because she didn't let me that night. We got naked and just had oral sex. Her thing down there got really really soaking wet, though.
Author regdent Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 She could be influenced by her friends' opinion and/or the fact that she has a boyfriend if that's the case. She seems hot and cold about things - coming on strong then backing away. Her reason for canceling could be legitimate. Give it another try and see what happens. If it's a no go then move on and don't waste any more time. She is single. Please disregard a "merged" thread.
Gaeta Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I see. We did not get to have a full intercourse because she didn't let me that night. We got naked and just had oral sex. Her thing down there got really really soaking wet, though. I think you are looking for answer in the wrong places. The girl has 2 girlfriends over. She has to entertain them. She is busy that is all. She can't be on text as she used to be it's impolite in front of people.
Author regdent Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 Okay, thanks for clarifying. Frankly, all those threads did sound like the same girl. Confusing. Anyhoo, when she cancelled, did she suggest another time to get together? No, she didn't. So, she may not be interested anymore. It is quite disappointing because I thought things were going very well till last week. But, I think I will give it one more try. Maybe I will suggest that we hang out at my place so I can cook for her or something.
katiegrl Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 She is single. Please disregard a "merged" thread. Yeah but you *did* notice her pulling away a bit after your third date, right? You were anxious she was gonna cancel your fourth date, even before the pool party. That was your gut speaking to you. Anyhoo, agree with Gaeta and dOnnivain now. Wait three days and ask her out again. If she hesitates, move on, she lost interest. Maybe was seeing a few guys like you suspected, and decided she liked one of them more. Good luck.....
Author regdent Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 Yeah but you *did* notice her pulling away a bit after your third date, right? You were anxious she was gonna cancel your fourth date, even before the pool party. That was your gut speaking to you. Anyhoo, agree with Gaeta and dOnnivain now. Wait three days and ask her out again. If she hesitates, move on, she lost interest. Maybe was seeing a few guys like you suspected, and decided she liked one of them more. Good luck..... She didn't pull away after our third date. She texted me two days after our third date, so I suggested that we go hiking on our fourth date. "That sounds lovely" was her response at that time. Then the pool party happened the following day. Before the pool party, I thought our fourth date was guaranteed. There were only three guys including me, and the two other guys were her classmates in professional school. Then her behavior this week got me anxious. Thank you for your advice tho
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Do girls sometimes act less interested after being sexual to make the guy work harder? Not the good ones. I suppose there will always be those women who play games to make a guy "work for it" but I would think that would be leading up to sex, not after.
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