lemonadekiwi Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 When my bf and I first started dating, he made a huge effort...took me places, was always thinking of where to go next, I felt important. Spoke to me a lot. He asked me to move in with him. And I did. Since then... even though he asked me to move in with him, I just don't feel special anymore. He is quite a blunt and direct character, so he wasn't ever really enthusiastic. But now, it feels like he's not even interested in me. He never compliments me anymore, looks bored when I talk about my job and when I brought it up he said that he won't compliment, no one needs to be complimented because if you like nice you know it, and that people who want compliments are 'stupid.' We plan holidays together and that's all well and good, but inbetween holidays... we barely do anything. He has his nose stuck in internet and games. He's always affectionate, but he doesn't want sex that much. He has a stressful job and works late. He cracks 'woman' jokes at me a lot and makes a lot of jokes at me in 'jest.' Now he doesnt seem to know anything, he never thinks of any new ideas and I end up always having to otherwise we eat and do nothing. I have tried talking to him, on so many occasions, calmly... he just retreats into a cave and ignores me. Then changes the subject when he feels like talking again. So that's a no go. Talking to him doesn't work. Maybe I'm just needy... I want to feel like my bf thinks the world of me.. lol... the last time he complimented me was in February. That's how pathetic I am that I remember that.
smackie9 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 No you are not being needy, your relationship sucks. Now that you live together this is where you find out how they really are.....he's a crappy BF that won't communicate with you. There is no fixing this because it takes two to repair a relationship. Since he has no intention of listening to you and would rather just carry on being a bad BF, you have no other choice but to leave. Sorry hun but you can't force or make someone appreciate you. 3
Jacob_Duluoz Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Fire a warning shot across the bow. If that doesn't get his attention, sink his battleship. :-) 2
scooby-philly Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I agree - it's been what - 6 months - since he complimented you? I mean don't get me wrong, even the best guy in the world may get busy, depressed, or just tired and not be super man for a week or two or a day here and a day there. But going for 6 months? Perhaps in his mind he assumes that if you agreed to move in with him and haven't left then everything else is just normal squabbling that happens in every relationship. If you've tried talking about it as you said and he retreats you may want to consider a "warning shot across the bow" (I love that lol) of ignoring him or doing your own thing for a while or perhaps just discussing ramifications...i.e. not a "threat" but a "again this is how I feel and what I need and if you can't give me that then here's what happens and when....". I'll be transparent - most guys are really in touch with their emotions. Or they have great difficulty in processing them - that's not high in society's "make a man" playbook. If he's worth it give it a little more effort, but there's a point everyone crosses where the benefits don't match the effort. Sorry to have to say that. I've learned that I'd rather be single than be with a woman who isn't a real partner, isn't affectionate, and cares more about what I say and think than what her friends say and think. If you know you need something he can't give you it's not fair to either of you to stick around hoping. 1
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