Author Oregon_Dude Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 Family situation, thought she had enough time to meet but didn't. I believe her that she is interested. I guess sometimes stuff really does come up. I'm glad I decided to text her back. That said, she gets one more shot... 1
smackie9 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 I always thought you were a woman. I am...........
smackie9 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Family situation, thought she had enough time to meet but didn't. I believe her that she is interested. I guess sometimes stuff really does come up. I'm glad I decided to text her back. That said, she gets one more shot... So why so easily annoyed with a cancelled date? 1
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Family situation, thought she had enough time to meet but didn't. I believe her that she is interested. I guess sometimes stuff really does come up. I'm glad I decided to text her back. That said, she gets one more shot... I think she's being sincere too so it's okay. 1
Popsicle Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 So why so easily annoyed with a cancelled date? Because some people play games and aren't sincere, but it's hard to tell without saying more than what she said at first.
catlady11 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Hmm...I had been messaging/texting a guy for about a week from okcupid and we agreed to meet on a Sunday a few weeks ago. Two hours before he texted me and told me he was sorry, that something came up and he had to watch his boys. He asked if we could reschedule for the next night and I said yes Guess what? He showed up, even got there early. Sometimes things do happen and they can't make it. If the person right away gives you an alternate day or time that's a good indication of them not blowing you off. 4
Author Oregon_Dude Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 So why so easily annoyed with a cancelled date?Usually that kind of thing is someone wasting your time, not knowing what they want, or accepting a date just to be polite (or something). Leading you on, in essence. In this case (a rare one), it was poor planning on her part and she made the effort to explain the deal and apologize. Surprising, even to me. 1
Author Oregon_Dude Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 Hmm...I had been messaging/texting a guy for about a week from okcupid and we agreed to meet on a Sunday a few weeks ago. Two hours before he texted me and told me he was sorry, that something came up and he had to watch his boys. He asked if we could reschedule for the next night and I said yes Guess what? He showed up, even got there early. Sometimes things do happen and they can't make it. If the person right away gives you an alternate day or time that's a good indication of them not blowing you off.How are things going with said guy? Still dating?
candie13 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 on the same note, I was chatting to a dude I met once - and we had a good date. We were chatting on Tuesday and he said he'll text me on Thursday with a plan, to go out for drinks. Thursday comes and goes and no sign from him. I go about and do my own business. I get a text on Friday, where he tells me he's got his brother in law unexpectedly in town and he crashed at his place, etc. He did apologize and told me he was around that weekend, if I felt like seeing him again. He rubbed me off the wrong way and I've never answered the dude. I actually deleted him from social media. He's generally really busy and traveling anyways. People like that give more headaches than good times. He could have written a short message on Thursday and I would have understood. I think, at least at the early beginning, people should treat you nicely, be considerate. If they don't naturally do it at the beginning, they never will. Especially the "i'm around this weekend" - I dunno, I felt like he was being magnanimous with his time and I had to chase him. Well, naaaah, I don't chase dudes. Next .
Author Oregon_Dude Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 Especially the "i'm around this weekend" - I dunno, I felt like he was being magnanimous with his time and I had to chase him. Well, naaaah, I don't chase dudes. Next .I agree. That's our job. We'll chase you, until you make it clear you're not interested. And some of our more stalker-y members, even after then 2
oberkeat Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 on the same note, I was chatting to a dude I met once - and we had a good date. We were chatting on Tuesday and he said he'll text me on Thursday with a plan, to go out for drinks. Thursday comes and goes and no sign from him. I go about and do my own business. I get a text on Friday, where he tells me he's got his brother in law unexpectedly in town and he crashed at his place, etc. He did apologize and told me he was around that weekend, if I felt like seeing him again. He rubbed me off the wrong way and I've never answered the dude. I actually deleted him from social media. He's generally really busy and traveling anyways. People like that give more headaches than good times. He could have written a short message on Thursday and I would have understood. I think, at least at the early beginning, people should treat you nicely, be considerate. If they don't naturally do it at the beginning, they never will. Especially the "i'm around this weekend" - I dunno, I felt like he was being magnanimous with his time and I had to chase him. Well, naaaah, I don't chase dudes. Next . A year ago, I set up a dinner date with a girl I'd been dating for about three weeks. When I texted her that day to confirm, she didn't reply. A week later, she sent me a long text, apologizing for being rude and inconsiderate, said she had been stressed with grad school, but had no right to do that, etc., and asked how I'm doing. She said if I'm still interested, she would like another chance, but if not, she understood. I accepted her apology, and rescheduled. You know what happened? She backed out of that date to! Some people are incredible. Ever since then, I don't give women who cancel dates second chances, period, no matter what the reason is. 2
Author Oregon_Dude Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 You know what happened? She backed out of that date to! Some people are incredible. Ever since then, I don't give women who cancel dates second chances, period, no matter what the reason is. Yeah, that's understandable to not give second chances anymore. Still, you believed her at the time; something came up. I'd hate to miss out on a possible great connection because I refused to believe someone's reason for needing to r/s, and their apology. If this girl does want to set a new date, I'll be there, but obviously it's the last chance. And I'll be very wary of similar behavior in the future. Fact is, I'm awesome, there's nothing wrong with being single, and I refuse to be desperate or play women's games. Plus, I've been so relationship-minded for so long, I honestly think a good few years of singledom could do me nothing but good. Only sad part about that is lack of sex, but who knows, maybe I'll find my way into a casual situation. Ah, dating. I didn't miss it. 3
candie13 Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 A year ago, I set up a dinner date with a girl I'd been dating for about three weeks. When I texted her that day to confirm, she didn't reply. A week later, she sent me a long text, apologizing for being rude and inconsiderate, said she had been stressed with grad school, but had no right to do that, etc., and asked how I'm doing. She said if I'm still interested, she would like another chance, but if not, she understood. I accepted her apology, and rescheduled. You know what happened? She backed out of that date to! Some people are incredible. Ever since then, I don't give women who cancel dates second chances, period, no matter what the reason is. hey, you know what? your date got cold feet. She tried, but she was still scared. On the contrary, I think you have done the correct thing to take her word for it and trust her. She is the one to have f*cked up. You had been dating for 3 weeks, I think you did right. Don't beat yourself up. You are not responsible for her reaction and you did not act foolishly. Can I tell you something? Never lose faith in love and in people. I'd much rather be an optimistic and be wrong than be a pessimistic and never take a chance on love and on the others. There are decent women / people out there. We simply need to learn to read the others a bit better. In my case, it was only the second date and I already had red flags from before that incident. So it was easier for me to cross him off. It still sting, because I thought he was cute and funny... but yeah, scared. His demons to fight, not mine. I wanna hang out with the winner, and apparently there was none .
Popsicle Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 A year ago, I set up a dinner date with a girl I'd been dating for about three weeks. When I texted her that day to confirm, she didn't reply. A week later, she sent me a long text, apologizing for being rude and inconsiderate, said she had been stressed with grad school, but had no right to do that, etc., and asked how I'm doing. She said if I'm still interested, she would like another chance, but if not, she understood. I accepted her apology, and rescheduled. You know what happened? She backed out of that date to! Some people are incredible. Ever since then, I don't give women who cancel dates second chances, period, no matter what the reason is. This is a good example of people playing games. This apology does not seem sincere to me. Something about IGNORING you, and then waiting a week, and then so easily admitting to it and apologizing seems insincere.
phineas Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Two hrs before a date is a flake. They need to put in some work to get me to reschedule by giving a reason and offering to reschedule when they flake. Otherwise I don't bother responding. I've wasted too much time on rescheduling with time wasters in the past and now can usually tell them from women genuinely Interested.
Gaeta Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I have a life out of dating. Last minute emergencies or unexpected events happen to people that have a well fulfilled life. I had to reschedule a man once and he was already at the coffee shop!!! I was so excited to meet him that I forgot I had a roof contractor appointment that afternoon. When I got out the door to go meet that man I came face to face with the contractor. Life happens. I called this man and explained my situation, he was a sweetheart, we met later and we ended up dating.
Author Oregon_Dude Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Any updates?No, not really. She didn't text me back after I accepted her apology and told her to let me know times what worked for her. This girl has huge flake written all over her. NEXT'd for sure.
RoseVille Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Ever since then, I don't give women who cancel dates second chances, period, no matter what the reason is. I surmise you don't do well in relationships. 1
oberkeat Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I surmise you don't do well in relationships. I don't tolerate flakey behavior from women, simple as that. I only want to spend my time with people who value my time. If a woman thinks it's okay to cancel plans with me at the last minute, I'm not talking to her anymore. You seem to think it's perfectly acceptable for women to flake and to treat men like garbage.
BriNyc82 Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Anyone else vote to give her the benefit of the doubt? I give the axe. I reached out the day of my date around 1pm to see if we were on. He said I beat him to it. He was going to reach out and he got sick with a virus. He's home from work. Best him to it, orrrrr called him out? He could have given a heads up. I don't have time to Bs and people who waste my time The way I see it, if someone is serious about dating shouldn't they be on their best behavior in the beginning? No second chances with me. Tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt bc usually when I give them a second chance I get burned. It's an awful approach but it is what it is 2
katiegrl Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I give the axe. I reached out the day of my date around 1pm to see if we were on. He said I beat him to it. He was going to reach out and he got sick with a virus. He's home from work. Best him to it, orrrrr called him out? He could have given a heads up. I don't have time to Bs and people who waste my time The way I see it, if someone is serious about dating shouldn't they be on their best behavior in the beginning? No second chances with me. Tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt bc usually when I give them a second chance I get burned. It's an awful approach but it is what it is What I have learned from this thread is that, if I ever become single again and start dating, and accept a date with a man I REALLY like, I hope to god I never get sick before the date and have to cancel....ugh. To those men who give no second chances, would it matter if said girl was super apologetic, suggested alternative dates, and expressed genuine remorse for having to cancel last minute? I mean people DO get sick sometimes. Just wondering. 2
Philosopher Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 What I have learned from this thread is that, if I ever become single again and start dating, and accept a date with a man I REALLY like, I hope to god I never get sick before the date and have to cancel....ugh. To those men who give no second chances, would it matter if said girl was super apologetic, suggested alternative dates, and expressed genuine remorse for having to cancel last minute? I mean people DO get sick sometimes. Just wondering. For me it depends on how the girl cancels. If they apologise and offer an alternative time then to me it suggests they are genuinely interested and they had a valid reason for cancelling, so I will give them a second chance. If on the other hand they do not apologise, they do not offer an alternative day to meet up or they cancel twice then I will assume they are not interested and move on. 1
katiegrl Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 For me it depends on how the girl cancels. If they apologise and offer an alternative time then to me it suggests they are genuinely interested and they had a valid reason for cancelling, so I will give them a second chance. If on the other hand they do not apologise, they do not offer an alternative day to meet up or they cancel twice then I will assume they are not interested and move on. Whew....makes me feel better. Re your second scenario... smart man! And makes sense. I would do the same. 1
endlessabyss Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 No, not really. She didn't text me back after I accepted her apology and told her to let me know times what worked for her. This girl has huge flake written all over her. NEXT'd for sure. Accepting the apology is one of those things where you proved you'd let her walk on you. Move on, and stop participating in these games in the future.
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