alicia24 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 my BF left his cell phone home one day so I went throught it to check his recent call history. I noticed a weird # I called it and sure enough, the voice mail of his ex picked up. She started calling his house a couple months ago because she is getting married and is getting cold feet. He got his # changed so she couldnt call. This is the girl that cheated on him a million times and broke his heart, so why did he call her. I asked him if he still talks to her and he told me no and got real defensive. what do i do now.
Treasa Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Well, there's the issue of you going through HIS phone. I never think that's appropriate. If you don't have trust for the person you're with, then find someone you do. There really is no graceful way to explain this one. You can pony up the truth, but be prepared to lose him over this. Or maybe he'll have a good explanation, but will be angry with you for snooping.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Address the issue: he called his ex. Tell him that you know for a fact that he called his ex and ask him why. If he tries to turn the argument into an issue about how you found out, turn it directly back to the issue at hand. Example: You: I know that you called your ex and lied to me about it. I don't appreciate being lied to about this, and I want to know why you called your ex. Him: What do you mean ... 'you know for a fact' - have you been going through my phone? You: This isn't about me going through your phone. This is about you calling your ex and then lying about it. Him: You shouldn't have gone through my phone! You: I'm sorry about that, but this isn't about me going through your phone. This is about you calling your ex and then lying about it. Him: F*ck you, I don't have to tell you anything - its none of your business. You: You are right, you don't have to tell me anything but as your girlfriend, it is my business. I want to know why you called her and then lied about it. ... and so on. You basically acknowledge what he is saying, and then firmly direct it back to the issue at hand. If he continues, or starts yelling/cursing then tell him that the argument is over, and that you will speak to him when he is ready to address the issue at hand: why he lied to you about calling his ex. When you start up again, keep it on track. You don't have to yell, or curse, or cry. A calm, steady firm voice will do a lot more for you than an out-of-control one.
Author alicia24 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 thank you so much for the great advice
HoldOn Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 You must have been suspicious in the first place to go through his phone... What made you do it? Just wondering...
Author alicia24 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 the ex called the house a few times so he got his house # changed. i wanted to see if she was calling the cell. my curiosity got the best of me!!!
HoldOn Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 well, let us know what happened. I still think that if you felt 100% sure of him that you probably wouldn't have done it... How long have you been dating?
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